Sad about baby sleeping in own room

[NetflixnChill]

My DS is 6 months and we are starting to think about him moving to his own room. He's been sleeping in a Chicco next to me cot, and the plan is to get an IKEA cot bed, and gradually move him further away from our bed and then into another room.

Any mums who've experienced this transition, how did you feel? I feel really sad about it and not quite ready. (I know there's nothing forcing this to happen now of course). I never thought I'd feel this way and always imagined I'd be looking forward to getting my space back. But I think due to having a baby during Covid I've ended up feeling more protective and worried about him.

We haven't had the opportunity to mix with anyone else since he was born so it's always just been me, DH and DS (apart from the postnatal ward when husband wasn't allowed). I feel scared about all sorts of steps, like one day having someone else care for him etc. Anyway, for now, how do I gradually transition to him sleeping in his own room and does anyone have any tips? Thanks x

DS is 11 (years!), I still miss him sleeping in my room. I love it when we camp, I can hear his soft rhythmical breathing. I never felt the same about DD but then she snores like a buzz saw

Just don’t do it yet. You need to prioritise your mental health and it sounds like being close the baby might be better for you. Plenty of people don’t move the baby out at 6 months there is no hurry. It will get easier

At 5 - 6 months I was getting stressed that the 'deadline' was looming.
Well, DS is 13mo now and still co sleeping.
He wakes for a few feeds during the night and sometimes scratches with his eczema so needs help getting back to sleep. I'm glad he's still with us & it works for us! No immediate plan to send him packing (although random punches in the face and his new penchant for sleeping horizontally isn't helping).

I’ve I’ll got ds who’s 3.5 years in a cot bed on one side of my bed and dd who’s 5 months in a basket on the other side.
DD has only woken ds up a few times.
I’m aiming to evict dS by the time he’s 5

I cried on the way home from Mothercare after we bought our DD her cot/bed.
Then I cried when we put it up. Then when she fell asleep in it the first time.
I used to fall asleep in the nursing chair next to her.
Only 6.5 years ago give or take.
She’s got a double bed now so I can snudge in with her if she wants me to.
Don’t feel rushed.

Like everyone else has said, no rush. My 2.5year old is still in my bed. Nearly 4 year old in her own. Leave it until you're both ready

Can't help either. Mine are 3 and they are still in our room.

DS is 18 months and still in my room (and cosleeps frequently). I've not yet felt ready for him to move and he still wakes up very frequently so logistically it hasn't made sense to move him yet either. I'm not in any hurry!

I wasn't ready at 6 months so waited until 7 months and cried the night dc first slept in own room.

The reality was my sleep massively improved, as did dc's and I felt massively better for it.

What most of them said, don’t do it till you’re ready

DD is nearly 2 and has no room now as it’s become DH office as he’s WFH. We moved from a next to me crib to a bloody massive cot bed which we managed around until I took it to pieces in a mild rage and she now has a floor bed in our room on the cot mattress. We all love it. She’s still BF and sleeps in with us for part of every night and we’ll carry on like that for as long as it suits us.

He’s your still new baby OP. He arrived in the middle of a shit storm. You want to keep him close to you, it’s normal, natural, healthy and lovely. Don’t fight your instincts!

I’ve only just moved my 3 year old, it only just felt right to move her, just do what feels right not what any books or guidelines say

@BlueBrush

Oh bless you! There's no hurry but as with all of these "firsts" (e.g. first time they go to school or nursery) you will get used to it really quickly. Here is (just) one way of thinking about it: you are growing a fully-functioning human being. You are loving him and supporting him and helping him grow and develop, and your ultimate goal is that he stands on his own two feet as a happy, confident adult and doesn't (really) need you anymore. That's when you know you've done a good job. This is one of the first steps along the way to him being independent, and that's a really good thing!

He'll always be your baby, but I found I've learned to love all these little steps towards my children becoming independent, even when they're bittersweet.

Just to say, you don't need to teach independence by forcing them to do things alone. They have to be dependent first to be independent later- independence will come naturally as a consequence of being securely attached and confident that their parent is always there for them when needed. If he's not in his own room at six months it doesn't follow that he won't become a fully functioning adult later down the line.

I really remember feeling like this and genuinely missing DD at night like there was this invisible string tugging on my heart.
She's now 18 and there is drum and bass blaring out of her bedroom and I can't believe I ever felt that way!
Do what's right for you and just remember every stage is just a stage and you are just moving from one chapter to another.

Do what’s best for you. Personally I moved DC1 out at 6.5 months as he is a noisy sleeper (still is) and we were disturbing him and he was disturbing us-everyone slept better when he went into his own room. I felt like he was really little and I was a little sad but ultimately we all slept better which was helpful as I went back to work a couple of weeks after this.

Six months is still very young for a baby to be sleeping in their own room. Go with your gut/maternal instinct op - if it doesn't feel right for you just yet, then don't do it.

I should have said, you absolutely don't need to move him now if you don't want to. I always said I would only move DS if we were disturbing him or he us and we've only just got to that stage.

DS was in a Bednest ('next to me' equivalent) until about 7.5 months. At that point we moved him into a cot bed in his own room but I went with him (slept on the floor on and under lots of duvets). He was still EBF and waking several times in the night so it made practical sense to me to stay close by. I also did it because I really missed him!

DS is 12m and is snoozing next to me. When he outgrew his next2mex we side car-d the cotbed and made a giant one he doesnt disturb our sleep, we don't disturb his and I can deal with night waking swiftly rather than waiting to be woken up by noise through a monitor so he rarely gets to the point of being fully awake and crying!

Plus he's EBF so I can just whack a boob out . DD was in with me until 18m and then went into her room with no issue whatsoever. 6 months minimum but you don't have to move him!