If you have two young kids do you ever get any "me" time?

[SebastianTheCrab]

DH and I have one toddler and it's just full on. I'm someone who needs a lot of downtime/alone time, I can't stand having to interact with people all day (even DH) and I have found the intensity and neediness of having a small child extremely difficult to be completely honest, especially as he gets up at 5am every day.

The way we cope, especially during lockdown, is taking turns throughout the day so the other can nap/work/have downtime. It's very fair and it gives us both respite. (We do also do have family time each day when we're all together). But even in normal times the rota would apply during weekends/after school because we get zero family help.

We're very on the fence about #2 (especially me). I just can see either/both of us not coping alone with two and/or each kid wanting a different parent, basically making our rota system impossible.

I've also noticed when I speak to my friends who have two kids on video calls they can make it maximum 10-15 minutes without their DH "accidentally" letting one and then both kids burst in and derail the convo followed by "apologetic" dad so we then have to end the call.

So my question is, if you have two kids do you get any alone time regularly - as in, on a daily basis? Just even half an hour to sit quietly and not be bothered during the day (not after kids are in bed).

Thanks everyone. I know it's not really a "one size fits all" question because everyone's set-ups vary so wildly. I think the main thing is I've finally gotten into a better groove (the first 2.5 years I found utterly debilitating, especially as I've also got a medical condition which is sometimes like having another child it requires so much attention) and am scared to upset the balance with our "rota" (it does indeed feel
like shift work sometimes).

But I can't stop thinking about #2 and wondering if we'll regret not having another, especially as neither of us come from large families and our toddler is already so isolated because of COVID. It's such a difficult one.

You're probably at a good stage to have a 2nd as your first will be old enough to go to preschool for some of the week giving you time one on one with the baby. And some quiet time while they nap, hopefully!
I had my 2nd beginning of March, and my first started preschool free hours at the beginning of April after Easter hols. It was great timing, although not thought about at conception!! Now she's at school, and my toddler will be starting preschool after this Easter. I'll have so much me time I won't know what to do with it 😂

Oh, and I'm not putting him in full time or anything, probably just a couple of mor I be a week to start with!

mornings a week!