Daughter rocking

[helpendoftether]

Hi
Please help, as username suggests I'm at the end of my tether with this. My daughter will not stop rocking. She sits in the W position and rocks back and forth constantly. We have tried everything - drs in case it's a UTI causing pain, correcting her sitting, cream in case she's itchy. We thought it was a tiredness thing but she does it at any point in the day, even just woken up. No autism signs so it's not a stimming thing. I just can't cope anymore. She is 3.5 and at pre school and her nursery, childminder and now teacher have all pointed it out and say it's odd. We've tried being relaxed, strict, telling her to stop every time, ignoring it etc. She does it in her car seat as well and it's driving us mad. It's like she goes into a trance and just rocks for ages

Some kids seek sensory stimulation through movement. Rocking, jiggling, fidgetting.

Are you sure it's not autism? What does she do/say when asked to stop?

She just stops if we ask her although sometimes it takes a while to get her to pay attention or listen as she gets very into it. There are no other autistic signs so health visitor rules that out

You say she goes into a trance and it takes her a while to get out of it. A very extreme option but maybe research absence seizures. I'm not a doctor or anything but that (and autism) was what sprung to mind.

Look at Sensory Processing Disorder, it seems like sensory seeking.

My daughter is autistic and used to do this when she was little. She also liked to stand on her head.

Autism doesn't always present in an obvious way with girls as they tend to be good at masking.

I wouldn't particularly try to stop her from doing it. Try something like a wobble cushion.She may actually need movement to concentrate.

Have you considered infantile gratification disorder? If it’s that they do grow out of it on the plus side

Could you sit her with her back against something? My sons teachers did this when he seemed unable to sit still on the carpet in school.

If it gives her pleasure, why would you try to stop it?

I’m afraid my first thought was autism and, as can’tdothisnow1 said, it usually presents very differently in girls. I’m not a doctor but have a lot of experience with autism. It might be worth keeping an eye on it and adopting a wait and see approach. I really, really hope l am wrong.

She might be dyspraxic, that comes with sensory issues too

My little girl spins a lot and I just let her get on with it but I've noticed she does it less if I give her other sorts of physical sensory input through the day

Sounds like infantile gratification disorder. My daughter does a similar thing. Started it at 6m. Ended up at GOSH at 2y as they thought possible epilepsy, due to trances. Got very bad between 3-4y. Had to stop group classes because she’d do it in the middle of the session! Got better when she started school. She still does it now at 12 if she’s stressed, anxious or tired but not in front of people anymore.

walkingmeaway that's really interesting, thank you. Mine does it anywhere too, we haven't been to any classes bc of lockdown but prior to that she would do it at dance or music groups and I tried so hard not to be embarrassed but it's hard when she literally won't stop.

Summerstorms what kind of sensory things could you suggest to distract her or fill the need?

Violinist64 what else should I be looking out for?

bitheby I completely get it on one hand, if she's happy and safe etc it shouldn't matter but other people notice and make comments and it's embarrassing to be honest to be at the park or soft play and have her suddenly start rocking. I don't want her picked on at school!

@helpendoftether

Summerstorms what kind of sensory things could you suggest to distract her or fill the need?

We go for a lot of walks, we do toddler yoga, she has a small trampoline, the local park has one of those dish roundabout things that they sit in and you spin them round, she loves swings, we use action nursery rhyme videos

One of mine did this, until he was about 4 I think. He used to do it in his cot and pushchair, then more if we were in the car or on a bus later.

He doesn’t have autism and he is a bright and balanced teenager, who no longer rocks. He was definitely a sensory seeking child though, always climbing, rolling, hanging upside down from things, like a bat. With lots of the behaviour associated with ADHD. Finally settled down a lot when he hit puberty though, and our home is a calmer place without him rolling around everywhere

I remember doing this. I'm not autistic but I do have adhd. My main memory is that it was soothing, but also spilled over into habit at times I wasn't distressed. In my case, my parents were the cause of the distress.

Of course I'm not suggesting it's the same for your dd, but it's possible that something else relatively minor has triggered it, and now it's her go to habit, whether she's mildly upset, excited or even bored, in the same way other dc might suck their thumb or an adult chew their nails.

I think I would just see how she is with other children. Often girls will copy “expected” behaviour. Does she play imaginatively? What about sounds and bright lights; how is she with them?

My best friend from reception onwards who is now a competent practicing nurse rocked next to me, on chairs, buses, cars, until she was a teenager..

My DS (12) still rocks himself to sleep every night. He also makes a weird groaning noise while doing it. The only time he won’t do it is if he is having a sleepover. It’s definitely a self-soothing sensory thing. He has ADHD.

I have adhd so perhaps she does do? I'm just so stressed out by the whole thing and don't know how to tackle it when she starts doing it. Should I be telling her to stop?

Bless you. It is really difficult. No don’t tell her to stop. We were advised to try and distract her when out and about. And if at home we would tell her it’s absolutely not a problem if she wants to do it but if we have guests perhaps to go in her room.

I would look for some clarification on what exactly is causing it though.

It is embarrassing. I felt exactly the same as you. My DD did it from about 6 months in pushchairs, car seats, high chairs. Sometimes when lying on the sofa she would cross her legs and squeeze her legs together. She would get glassy eyed and sweaty and usually fall asleep afterwards. She did it more when tired or stressed. Some investigations were done such as an EEG and reflux tests but nothing was found and it was considered a 'habit'. Distraction worked sometimes but not others. It gradually stopped at least in public but it felt like a long time. She's 16 now and very bright and private. It's generally quite a taboo subject still - most people don't accept that very young babies and toddlers can do this and as a parent this can leave you feeling very isolated and worried. You're not alone though.

I did it right into adulthood, but only to get to sleep 💤 as did my brother. I only stopped it when I started cosleeping with my first. I still do it the odd time. Definitely for me anyway it's to deal with anxiety. It tends to relieve it. Grew up in a dysfunctional family so it helped.