Daughter rocking

[helpendoftether]

Hi
Please help, as username suggests I'm at the end of my tether with this. My daughter will not stop rocking. She sits in the W position and rocks back and forth constantly. We have tried everything - drs in case it's a UTI causing pain, correcting her sitting, cream in case she's itchy. We thought it was a tiredness thing but she does it at any point in the day, even just woken up. No autism signs so it's not a stimming thing. I just can't cope anymore. She is 3.5 and at pre school and her nursery, childminder and now teacher have all pointed it out and say it's odd. We've tried being relaxed, strict, telling her to stop every time, ignoring it etc. She does it in her car seat as well and it's driving us mad. It's like she goes into a trance and just rocks for ages

I think the nursery and teachers are being quite unprofessional to say it’s odd. They must be quite inexperienced to not have come across infantile gratification disorder before.

Thanks so much for all the help, it's nice to know we're not alone to be honest! I think lockdown has exasperated it slightly as we are all on top of each other with no where to go and so we see it so often and there's less opportunity to get out and about doing stuff, especially as it gets colder and walks are difficult!

I think we will try lots of distraction, lots of sensory things.

I really hope we aren't a dysfunctional family and that it isn't a response to that. In what ways do you mean?

We got ds an inflatable peanut ball that he bounces up and down on all day long in the lounge.

@helpendoftether - I also have ADHD (I posted earlier about my previously rocking DS)

He has, in my opinion, ADHD. One of my DDs has dyspraxia (diagnosed) and the other has slight dyspraxia I think and definite ADHD traits (and I have one other DC who doesn’t seem to have any issues at all

It is all linked I think, although I didn’t display sensory seeking behaviours I don’t think. My DD who I think has ADHD doesn’t rock, but she spends a lot of time standing on her head and cartwheeling - especially after school when I think she needs a release. We saw an occupational therapist who recommended she goes on the swings as much as possible, to regulate her when she is is overwhelmed. She already loved the swings and I think when she does this stuff she is attempting to regulate herself, without knowing it.

Maybe your DS is just doing the same with his rocking ?

(It is my DS who, in my opinion has ADHD, I didn’t mean yours but I just realised it might sound like that!)

Hi. I did this as a child, well into early childhood. I m dyspraxic (not autistic) and was experiencing sensory processing issues. I suspect adhd was also a factor for me I needed to rock to figure out where I was in space. I didn't crawl either which was also a contributing factor. I eventually grew out of it and I ended up fine. I've just completed my masters in education! Trying to make your daughter stop rocking, isn't really going to help until you figure out why she does it and then ask yourself if it's really a problem. Whatever the reason, I'm sure she'll be just fine

My best friend's son used to do this.. and also hump the furniture and any available object (once turned round in M+S and he was humping the corner of a stand!) He would be red faced, sweaty and very obviously getting some sort of satisfaction from it.
He's in his 20s now and definitely doesn't do it any more :D But past aged 3 he was told 'bedroom only' if he wanted to rock/hump

He is also severely dyspraxic and dyslexic, but has a good job, nice partner.. 'normal' life. It's much more common than people realise!

@Violinist64 Hi! I’m autistic and I have a very happy life, I really don’t appreciate your attitude in “really hoping you’re wrong” an autistic child is not a burden or something to wish away, we’re not diseased. I really hope you, and people with similar ideology about it, change their language.

It's just sensory seeking as has been said. ADHD and autism can go hand in hand, be hereditary and she's still young to dismiss it like that. Why would you want to stop her?

There are sensory seats and wobble cushions that might divert her attentions to. Stop being embarrassed by it, it's not a big deal.

I'm so sorry op, I havent read through the thread..

But I was your daughter.
I had a rocking horse as a toddler.
I would rock for ages.
As I got older 4, 5, 6 etc it moved to the sofa.
I used to rock so vigorously my hair would matt hitting the back of the sofa.
I would go into my own world, my thoughts were my own, it was an brilliant, great place. I would go through things in my head, educate myself, think, get through things.

I did this until my early 20s. When unacceptable in front of parents. Prehaps 10+, I moved to doing it privately in my bedroom on my bed.

It was an outlet. I had some of my most brilliant moments, rocking back and forth.
I was also generally very fridigety in general.

I was very slim and very healthy due to my constant movement.

In my early 20s, after some boyfriend(s) finding out about it, I eventually grew out of it.

I did it almost daily. I cant explain why except it felt good, I would trance, it got me in my head and focused.

I dont do it now. I dont have any compulsion to do it now, im in my 30s.

My parents accepted it and never tried to stop it. It was extreme but something that didn't hurt me or anyone else.

Keep your eye on your daughter behaviors otherwise. It might just be that she is, me. It was who I was and that was it.

I am a very normal and boring 30 something now.

I’m sorry, Okaapi, no offence intended. I actually have a son and daughter who are at different points of the autistic spectrum. Of course each life is present and I am really pleased you are happy. My point was to the OP and, speaking as a neurotypical parent all l meant by my comment was that if a child is diagnosed with autism it comes as a great shock. We know that life is not always plain sailing in the usual run of events and if there are additional needs and challenges there is more worry for the parents on the child’s behalf.

Sorry to zombie thread with this comment but I wanted to add my support to op

My first nanny charge did this 20 years ago and we knew nothing about what to do about it . Her parents said she’s done it since she was in nappies . Exactly like op, W. Position and grinding and rocking. She could go weeks without doing it and then it would suddenly become a compulsion. Anywhere any situation. We tried ignoring bribing reprimanding. More sleep, more exercise, more activities. Nothing helped. Eventually we would send her to her room to do it but she would be gone in there for hours!
We hoped she’s grow out of it but the last I heard was that the teachers had told the parents it was happening in class. Upsetting for all involved and I’d never heard of it until recently until I watched an old episode of Dr House who had a patient doing this!

In retrospect I think it would have been better to take all emotion out of it. I also wondered (and this is for her only, no judgment on anybody) if she could have done witr more tactile affection and support. Parents were lovely but quite unavailable emotionally and strict with her.
We will never know now!

It sounds like she does it because it feels nice. It's so common for children to rock and rub themselves against things as they realise it feels good. It's really normal, and babies even as young as 6 months can do this. I wouldn't jump to anything sensory or autism based, it's so much more common than you think. Google infantile gratification disorder, which is actually a fancy name for infant masturbation. It's completely normal. It doesn't have anything to do with her upbringing, you have done nothing wrong at all. Pop her to the gp for reassurance but I really think you have nothing to worry about x