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Original poster

What did she mean?! I think I misunderstood!

91 replies

Menaray · 01/01/2021 18:29

Yesterday I had a smear test. There was some difficulty for the nurse locating my cervix, so as she was rummaging, she was making conversation - presumably to put me at ease.

She asked how many dc I had, and I told her I had 4. She said "4? You look good for 4". Given what she was doing, and where she was looking at the time she made her comment, I assumed she meant all looked well in the pelvic floor/cervix region. So I launched into a detailed description of my pelvic floor exercise regime. She didn't really say much after I'd finished, by which time she'd collected the sample.

It sort of hit me as I was driving home that she hadn't in fact been complimenting me on my nether regions, but had been making general polite conversation! I feel silly now! Would anyone else have made the same assumption?

OP posts:

thosetalesofunexpected · 01/01/2021 22:21

@MsF1t
How Cringy embarrassing,!
Doc gave too much infor,😯 !!!

bellie710 · 01/01/2021 22:22

I have had 3 kids all 9-10.5lbs with no stitches the midwife told me I had a great perineum, when I had my coil fitted my cervix was very high and really hard to reach. i think they just tell you what they think you want to hear or make small talk. The woman who does my coil is a really good friend so who knows!

Lucieintheskye · 01/01/2021 22:24

Those types of comments really concern me. I had my first smear a few weeks back and the nurse said 'Oh you've got a nice one, we're used to getting messy ones that look like ham sandwiches in here!' I felt incredibly uncomfortable that a nurse would be making such an unprofessional comment.

There's also a worry that if I didn't get a compliment of my genitals next time, I'd worry something was wrong, or I'd be gossiped about in the staff room.

I did send in a formal complaint though, I wouldn't usually do anything negative towards the NHS but this sort of thing is harmful.

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Families

seven201 · 01/01/2021 22:26

I had the opposite at a smear. While doing the smear she said she had to change the speculum to a different sized one. Then she asked me how many kids I had. I didn't have any at that point! wish I'd said something other than just "erm, none"

thosetalesofunexpected · 01/01/2021 22:29

@Fuckitsstillraining
😀😀😊
Like something out of those comical sketch joke books used to have Xmas or Birthday times.

Ilovesausages · 01/01/2021 22:34

Some of these comments are awful.

We are told so often that nurses and doctors have seen a billion different bajingos (sorry been doing my annual Scrubs binge) and don’t even notice how they look. Sounds like that’s not true!

Robbybobtail · 01/01/2021 22:35

My doctor was also my next door neighbour and when he was in the middle of my smear he told me my garden was lovely

I’m completely aghast at this - you let your ndn do your smear? Was no one else available??

CatVsChristmasTree · 01/01/2021 22:55

I've been training to do smears this year, currently awaiting date for final assessment where I have to do them with an examiner watching. This thread has been great for tips on what not to say to my patients mid smear! I always ask about previous pregnancies and births beforehand, so I know what to expect as that may influence size of speculum chosen and the cervical oz looks different once you've given birth (not in a bad way, just different shape).

I certainly wouldn't give a comment, positive or negative, about a woman's vagina unless it was medically relevant or impacting on my ability to to the smear (and I try to be as tactful as possible if there's a difficulty and not make them feel abnormal). I am shocked at some of the comments people have had!

Agoodbriskwalk · 01/01/2021 22:55

We are told so often that nurses and doctors have seen a billion different bajingos (sorry been doing my annual Scrubs binge) and don’t even notice how they look.

I can't even look at my own bajingo!
Is that cos it looks so much like a vagina?

CatVsChristmasTree · 01/01/2021 22:56

@Lucieintheskye

There's also a worry that if I didn't get a compliment of my genitals next time, I'd worry something was wrong, or I'd be gossiped about in the staff room.

I did send in a formal complaint though, I wouldn't usually do anything negative towards the NHS but this sort of thing is harmful.

That's appalling, you were absolutely right to complain.

Anycrispsleft · 01/01/2021 22:56

My doctor was also my next door neighbour and when he was in the middle of my smear he told me my garden was lovely

Thank god it didn't happen the other way round!

Agoodbriskwalk · 01/01/2021 22:57

My doctor was also my next door neighbour and when he was in the middle of my smear he told me my garden was lovely

I’m completely aghast at this - you let your ndn do your smear? Was no one else available??

Both of these comments really made me laugh. The second one because it makes it sound like the NDN requested and she just hopped up on the partition wall.

troppibambini · 01/01/2021 23:06

When my lovely midwife who I got in really well with was giving me a sweep she was being quite thorough and really trying to stretch things told me I was already 3-4 cms I said "oh my god I love you" she laughed and said maybe not the thing say when I've got me hand in your vagina

Butterbeeeen · 01/01/2021 23:13

I was once having a smear done on a boiling hot day. The nurse let in another nurse to assist her who commented how warm it was. The nurse that was in the middle of my smear and looking at my nether regions in all its glory responded "oh I'm ok iv got a massive fan in here" I got the giggles and could not stop. Nurse didn't know where to look

Ilovesausages · 01/01/2021 23:20

@Agoodbriskwalk

We are told so often that nurses and doctors have seen a billion different bajingos (sorry been doing my annual Scrubs binge) and don’t even notice how they look.

I can't even look at my own bajingo!
Is that cos it looks so much like a vagina?

😂😂😂

JovialNickname · 01/01/2021 23:25

A different orifice but I am still laughing from a post the other day where a lady went to the dentist. The dentist said "suction" to the assistant, but the poster thought she was speaking to her and started sucking the dentist's finger....

cherrycola742 · 01/01/2021 23:32

Once when I went for a smear, there was a wall at the "foot end" of the examination couch in the nurse's room & a poster of George Clooney on it. 😂

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 23:32

@LouLou789

Awww. Although that reminds me of one smear test I had and the Norse muttered, “Oh yea, I remember from last time, I need an extra-long speculum” (and I had this vision of her standing in the corridor with a snooker cue 🤣)

I was already howling at @VaggieMight's I commented on the customer's 'lovely set'. I meant the set of underwear but by my clients reaction I think she might have thought I was referring to her breasts

The unexpected Norse at your smear test almost killed me

skankingpiglet · 01/01/2021 23:46

This thread is brilliant. I have to add my DH's experience from a few years ago when he was in for a 'Well Man' check up: the GP took the moment he was checking DH's prostate to tell him "You are looking really good for your age!". It totally weirded DH out! 😂

The misunderstanding works both ways though. I went to have a coil fitted some years ago. It was excruciating and taking ages (eventually they gave up), so I very politely asked the doctor how long I should expect it to take to fit. I got a very curt "why, have you got somewhere important to be?". When I replied that I just needed to know how long to grit my teeth for as it was really painful she was genuinely taken aback (and apologetic) as had completely misinterpreted. The nurse was shooting her daggers!

Original poster

Menaray · 02/01/2021 00:01

Thank you for sharing your experiences and making me feel less silly!

Dd and I had a smear on the same day last year, and the nurse told me that we had very similar cervixes! I was quite flattered to be told that, Dd not so much!

OP posts:

ellenleaves · 02/01/2021 00:09

This is great! I had a trainee do my smear once with a nurse supervising - they had to change speculum as I had a 'long and healthy vagina'. I have never known whether to pass this info onto future smear test nurses but they've always been ok with the standard speculum!! Awkward.

IamEarthymama · 02/01/2021 00:36

When I was having a smear test many years ago the male doctor said, you have a very healthy cervix.
I replied, oh most people compliment me on my big blue eyes!

😳😂
What an absolute twat I was! I was an appalling flirt!

I am so embarrassed now!

MoreRainbowsPlease · 02/01/2021 00:51

I have had 4 dr's and nurses compliment me on my episiotomy scar and how neat it is. I always say thank you, because I don't know what else to say, obviously I had no input on how well done it was done. Also I haven't even seen it myself. I have tried to look with various mirrors, but I just can't angle myself right. DP has tried to look at it, but he said he can't see it. Sometimes I have debated putting it down on forms that ask if you have any identifying scars or marks.

LionLily · 02/01/2021 02:35

I once had a nurse down there at the business end of the speculum call out 'oh, very nice, can't we tell you had caesareans!'
So I presume I'm fairly tidy.

Veronika13 · 02/01/2021 03:42

A nurse did a throat swab once, then commented: ‘you took that REALLY well!’

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