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Original poster

Neighbour Why has this upset me so much.

31 replies

Rizo1 · 27/12/2020 20:37

lived in
same house 32 years got on well with neighbour, This year in the summer she blocked our drive (side by side drives)with a skip couldn't park on drive for ten days never even asked if it was ok and also recently had CCTV fitted No problem with her having CCTV but camera points directly at dining room window and front door, OH spoke to engineer installing it and he explained it would have a privacy screen on blocking out our side on camera. We were happy with this but next day neighbour goes out and puts her car across top of drives blocking access, OH asks her to move forward so he could get car out .She started shouting he had no right speaking to people at her house, she could do what she wanted on her drive at her house and had had the privacy screen removed from CCTV. Since this she will not talk to us to try and resolve the problem and puts her car across the drive making access very difficult. When we have had things delivered they have had to park on road but when she is expecting a delivery moves her car forward so the delivery driver has access to both drives as neither are very wide OH out during day and my car is on road, Once delivery has been made she puts her car back across the top of the drives . We have always helped her out when asked, looked after her after husband died several years ago, and had I thought been a good neighbour to her. OH says to just ignore her and let her get on with it but it has really upset me and I keep thinking about it.

We are now getting our drive widened but as it says at the start why has it upset me so much???

OP posts:
Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 27/12/2020 20:44

Diagram needed imo....

Fairydustrust · 27/12/2020 20:48

Sometimes, very odd behaviour that comes on can be a symptom of illness and nothing personal at all so don't be upset. I don't know circs ie if she has help/family or friends. Maybe a call to someone to check on her would be kind, do you think?

lachy · 27/12/2020 20:48

Yup. You need to give us a diagram...

Atalune · 27/12/2020 20:50

Perhaps she’s losing her marbles? Is she elderly? Does she have older children than come to visit that you could approach?

Cactusowl · 27/12/2020 20:51

Could she be unwell, it seems odd to behave like this after having a good relationship for so many years.

Rockpooler · 27/12/2020 20:51

I too would think illness.

Sssloou · 27/12/2020 20:52

Sounds like someone developing paranoia and deteriorating MH if you have lived happily side by side for 32 years and she has been recently widowed.

AlwaysLatte · 27/12/2020 20:54

Can you not put a wall separating the two drives?

EagleFlight · 27/12/2020 21:04

All things considered, early dementia would be a possibility I’d consider under the circumstances. Does she have family visiting her?

Rockpooler · 27/12/2020 21:05

Are you able to talk to her family to flag this unexplained change in behaviour ?

Horehound · 27/12/2020 21:08

How old is she? She certainly sound alike she has dementia onset or even a Urine infection.

Has she had any family visiting?can you speak to them?

HeyChubbee · 27/12/2020 21:08

If you can move your car onto the road call the police.

HeyChubbee · 27/12/2020 21:09

*can’t

fussygalore118 · 27/12/2020 21:11

Oh dear. I hate to jump on the illness side but it sounds very similar to how a very good friends mum started behaving before her dementia was diagnosed.

Imiss2019 · 27/12/2020 21:15

How old is she? Any other new and odd behaviours?
Can you separate the driveways somehow? The CCTV wouldn’t particularly bother me

Original poster
Rizo1 · 27/12/2020 21:19

Thanks for reading. Her first husband died many years ago and over a year ago for the second one. We supported her both times Had three children with first partner but didnt know him, none with other two. only see a son visit. Other son lives abroad. She had a fight with her daughter over 20 years ago. The police were called by her daughter Again we supported her even when the police told us she was known in the family for being spiteful if she didnt get her own way.
Not sure how to do a picture but drives are side by side not shared she has left side we have right as you look out of house towards the road. Not really convinced it is illness She is out and about most days and it is only us and her other immediate neighbour that she has issues with but she never got on with them from day one.

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 27/12/2020 21:23

Can you put up a fence or heavy plant pots to mark your boundary?

ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 27/12/2020 21:25

And get your own camera so you have evidence of her behaviour and driveway blocking

user1471538283 · 27/12/2020 21:26

You need a boundary between the drives. Something she cannot move. I would be tempted to put a great big fence up. She may be ill but it's not your problem

slipperywhensparticus · 27/12/2020 21:27

Can you contact the police about the cctv? They can get the privacy screen reinstalled?

Get your driveway partitioned

Floralnomad · 27/12/2020 21:30

Just put a fence down the middle of the drive even if it makes your own drive too thin to use at least it will inconvenience her .

Floralnomad · 27/12/2020 21:30

Also a retractable bollard or two at the top of your drive.

Sssloou · 27/12/2020 21:35

Sounds like she has a long history of “issues” then .... to date focused on her DD, other neighbours, maybe other family and friends who now swerve her so she Ian starting on you.

She sounds irrational and unhinged and that is why it is upsetting you.

Play this v carefully - agree get CCTV. Document everything - if she is already known to the police as a spiteful nuisance then just don’t take it personally and do things calmly by the book.

londongirl12 · 27/12/2020 21:41

I agree with others - can you put a fence between the drives?

Horehound · 27/12/2020 21:52

I'd contact police re. The CCTV then and document the antisocial behaviour.

I'd maybe get my car onto the drive and park inconsiderately to her before she does it to you