When did things start to become more child orientated?

[Soubriquet]

In Victorian times for example, children were seen and not heard and dosed up so they didn’t cry.

Now we have toddler groups, first birthday shoots, birthing shots etc etc

When did things swing from “just shove it in a drawer and give it something to shut it up” to “let’s all go to baby group and see your lovely friends”

I was born in the 80s and when I was a child it was probably a 50-50nsplit if restaurants had children's meals/high chairs etc. I never went to soft play or a specific baby class.

When women were allowed to voice their opinions about how their children should be raised maybe.

I don't think you can pinpoint a specific era. A lot of parents just decided they didn't want their childreto have the shit upbringing they had. And maybe some parents took it to the extreme.

Surely the women were as much to blame as the men in those days?

I doubt the men would have done much child rearing anyway

When less children died, birth rates then dropped, and parents were able to invest more heavily in their children's futures because they had a fairly good chance of actually seeing them grow up.

It's been a gradually increasing process since then.

Life was cheap back then, families larger and many children didn’t survive infancy whatever you did.

I suspect when contraception was introduced, we saw the beginning of the shift- children no longer something inevitable for everyone, fewer of them, better healthcare on the nhs etc. And over generations things gradually shifted in line with that.

When the capitalists realised the sheer amount of merchandise that could be sold to the child rearing population.

Toddler groups have been around for decades - I was taken to one in the 70s. First birthday shoots are a much more recent thing.

When Penelope Leach decided that making women feel terrible was her calling in life. She clearly disliked working mothers and so introduced the idea of child centred child rearing without thinking about the effects on women. That women and her book made my child rearing years a misery.

@Findahouse21

I was born in the 80s and when I was a child it was probably a 50-50nsplit if restaurants had children's meals/high chairs etc. I never went to soft play or a specific baby class.

I can remember going to specific activities for children.

My children were born in the 1970s / 80s and I used to take them to baby swimming classes in the heated baby pool at the local swimming pool. We used to also go to the local 1 o'clock club (and I've just googled it and it is still going strong).

However, I don't remember any special child menus in restaurants, I used to order an adult portion, ask for an extra plate and divide the meal between my children. There weren't always high chairs available, my children would sit on my lap or a cushion would be put on their chair.

I think it was c 2007

It was around then that cafes and galleries became no go areas for me.

It is purely subjective and individuals do not necessarily conform to the prevailing ideas or our modern thoughts of society's ideas at the time.

For example I'm studying a history degree at the moment and my unit is focusing on the early modern period. There is a lrimary source from the 1700s of a woman writing a series of letters to her merchant husband and she clearly dotes on their little son, fretting about his health, recouting anecdotes to her husband and reminding him (husband) to buy their boy the little hat he's been going on about for ages.

It really struck me how this mother has the exact same inclination toward her child as any modern mother living today would. It was absolutely heartbreaking to read the letter she sent to her husband to inform him their son had died. I cried for hours and had to take a break.

We view historical periods sometimes by their stereotypes or prominent practices. But in reality many families have had close, loving and nurturing relationships. So it's hard to give definitive answers to questions like these.

@chottie my parents did exactly that;one adult meal and 2 plates. My brother always got to choose as the oldest.

I agree that activities have been available for much longer, but that they've only become seen as necessary/beneficial quite recently.

What? If they weren't previously seen as beneficial why would they have existed?

Mid 1990's I think. Before then children fitted in with what parents did. Parents loved their children, and did things with them, but whole days out were not planned around children. I'm not sure what changed it though.

@quantumjump - sorry, that was poor phrasing on my part. Initially (at least my view) is that toddler groups were set up to allow mums a meeting space, and as long as the children were occupied, it didn't really matter what they were doing while their mums chatted. So a few toys etc. But this moved on to being taken as much more of an opportunity to 'teach' the children or get them exposed to different experiences so started focusing on things like tumble tots, music classes etc.

More to the point, when did children become the centre of attention? Holidays, meals out, leisure activities all aimed at keeping them entertained. What happened to going down the pub and leaving little Johnny in the back seat of the Cortina with a bag of crisps and a lemonade?

I was a child in the 70s and people's lives definitely didn't revolve around their children then. Kids were a part of family life, but not its epicentre.

Don't get me wrong, I was loved (very much), talked to, hugged/cuddled, taken to nice places, given nice things etc, but it was extremely rare for my parents to play with me or make me the axis upon which everything spun. I wasn't allowed to kick the day off by leaping on to their bed at 6 a.m. the way kids seem to nowadays, for example. I don't personally feel I was disadvantaged by any of this.

More contentiously, I feel back then parents used to put each other first, and although this isn't a popular view nowadays I think there's something to be said for that ethos. As children get older they need to learn they aren't the centre of the universe, and a strong relationship between their parents means a better life for the child anyway. Flame me if you will. I certainly don't feel scarred by it and, as I say, I always knew I was loved and cherished.

I agree with Esme, I was loved but not Axis. I was just one part of the family.
I hate how child centred it has become.
Not sure when. Late 90's?

It starts at the beginning of the industrial revolution when children started to be viewed as different to mini adults.

I was certainly not deemed to be particularly important in the 80s. I wax a latch key kid as both my parents worked. I haven’t a clue when it happen but I’m sure social media has led to the level of crazy that exists now.

@IfNotNow12

Mid 1990's I think. Before then children fitted in with what parents did. Parents loved their children, and did things with them, but whole days out were not planned around children. I'm not sure what changed it though.

I'm inclined to agree with this.

My children were born in the 90s. They fitted in with what we were doing, our whole lives didn't revolve around them. They were and are very much loved and cared for, but they certainly weren't the centre of things like kids these days and weren't spoiled and indulged.

Yes, I was a child in the 60s - I’d describe it as “we love you dearly but you are not the centre of the universe”. I don’t see that upbringing as a drawback.

@esmecrowfoot Ditto. My siblings and I were much loved, but weren't allowed in our parents' bedroom, unless we were unwell. Although we had activities like Brownies and swimming lessons, we were mostly expected to amuse ourselves and allowed to play outside in the park or in the woods, unaccompanied by adults. I also remember the time we asked mum which of us four children she loved best. She said she loved dad most, and us all equally, and we were perfectly happy with that answer. The constant adult attention children have nowadays seems a bit suffocating.

My first child was born in the mid eighties and I took her to baby swim classes, tumble tots, musical infants and playgroup. That was probably the norm for children in my area (West London). I remember my mum was surprised about all her activities.