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Vegans visiting restaurants

93 replies

AtleastitsnotMonday · 27/12/2020 15:47

Inspired by another thread (you all know which!) but not about that or wishing to cause controversy, I’m just interested to know, if you are vegan are you happy to eat in restaurants serving meat? Or with people at the same table eating meat?
I know many Vegan people for whom it is a personal choice and they don’t worry about what others do. But others were clearly repulsed by meat to the extinct that they would be uncomfortable if meat were near by. Or is it more of a case of not liking it in their home. My house, my rules. Which in my opinion is fair enough.
Like I say, I’m just interested, not looking to judge!

OP posts:
Blufandango · 28/12/2020 18:18

Being vegan and not wanting your own plates being used for meat does not mean your are imposing your beliefs on others, it means you are asking people to respect you. You might not think that veganism is comparable to religion or alcoholism but it is clear that @testing987654321 was suggesting that you should respect an alcoholic by not taking alcohol to their house, and you should respect people's religion. If someone doesn't like dogs you wouldn't take their dog round, if someone asks you to take your shoes off at the door, you take your shoes off. If someone doesn't want meat in their plates, you don't put meat on the plate. It isn't hard. People behaving like this reflect badly on those who are respectful.

Graphista · 28/12/2020 19:13

@FrancesHaHa genuinely interested roughly what age you are as your experience is more akin to my dds (almost 20) whereas the experience I posted earlier is mine (aged 48 been veggie over 30 years)

It is getting slightly better but I generally find it's the over 35's and especially over 50's who are most critical of a veggie or vegan diet

Also mostly men so are you mixing with mainly women?

@14ScottsRoad Yes I've often had the experience where Omni's have questioned me/STARTED the conversation then later I've been accused of "banging on about it" when all I did was answer THEIR questions

@Ginfordinner My mum is very much a good but plain "meat and 2 veg" type cook but she's also observed the hard time I had off certain relatives and stepped in on occasion. Weirdly the person who was most supportive of me going veggie was my dad! Who very much enjoys his meat. However upon me discussing with him my experience of many of my stomach issues vanishing after giving up meat and he had similar problems he gave up red meat and found he too was feeling much better. It was only a few years after this that the research on red meat, processed meat and bowel damage came to light and our family based on dads and I experience were totally unsurprised.

The few dickhead veggies/vegans I've come across are the types to just be dickheads anyway! Inc the one who harangued me for "only" being veggie when they'd been vegan all of a month (and within 6 months was back to being omni!)

@feelingdizzy Where do you live? I'm in a quite rural location in west Scotland and there's still a few restaurants here don't do ANYTHING vegetarian even the chips cooked in lard!

@Thisusernameistakenagain Yes UNDER catering for veggies at buffets is annoying. Good caterers/hosts either provide enough for all to have the veggie options or hold some back so the veggies don't miss out

@whiteroseredrose My ex when I first met him although omni was ridiculously fussy! You could count the items he ate on 2 hands!

@OhNoItsADalek Thanks for the meme I've screenshot it for the next time the one claiming vegans tell you without asking one appears

Also loving the patience one. So true.

@Blufandango well said!

I'm not fussed about meat being cooked in my home in my pots and on my plates etc I chose to allow dd to make her own decisions re diet

As it turned out (didn't know this when weaning her etc) she has a disability which affects what, how much in one go and when she can eat. I ended up with a child who hated potatoes inc chips, deep fried food generally, chocolate, not that keen on ice cream and who was very much a savoury child rather than sweet - raw broccoli and cauli would regularly vanish from my stores! She also seems to have inherited dad and i's difficulty with red meat so she doesn't eat that either which a lot of people have "blamed" my vegetarianism for when that's not the case. I also got blamed for much of the rest as people who didn't know us well assumed that she didn't have chips, chocolate etc because I wouldn't allow unhealthy food - my and her life especially as a child would have been SO much easier if she HAD liked those things! The number of McDonald's based birthday parties where I had to explain no she really does personally prefer to have the salad, carrot batons and fruit instead of the burger chips and ice cream! Pizza based parties were much better for her she loves pizza! When she reached the ages where the parents didn't stay and the host parents were like "but your mums not here you can have chips!" And dd was like "but I hate chips!" That the parents of her friends started to "get" it wasn't about me being Uber healthy and strict!

FrancesHaHa · 28/12/2020 21:09

@Graphista I'm mid 40s. Interesting what you're saying about it being older people and men but I haven't really seen this. Even my in laws who are older, although largely meat eaters are happy to eat vegetarian/ vegan meals that I cook sometimes (I'm a meat eater).

I know quite a few couples of my age where one is a veggie (both male and female) and they all seem to have come to amicable arrangements with no fuss as to whether meat comes into the house, whether their kids eat meat etc. I do know a lot of vegetarians and vegans though so maybe just happen to have come across fairly tolerant people (in this area at least).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

FrancesHaHa · 28/12/2020 21:26

Interestingly as I get older more men seem to become vegetarian/ pescatarian for health reasons and now I think I know more men who don't eat meat than women- maybe somehow it's seen as more acceptable when it's linked to health

goldielockdown2 · 28/12/2020 22:27

Yep, I don't care. Although there are different types of veganism I guess

inquietant · 29/12/2020 06:35

The thought process is illogical and not remotely comparable to alcoholism or religion.

People behaving like this reflects badly on the rest of us who manage to live in a way which reflects our values and moral beliefs without imposing them on other people.

No, it really doesn't. It is my house, my choice on this issue as with many many others.

I am not 'very' vegetarian, I don't eat meat but would be fine to prepare/cook it at my parents' house for example, but my kitchen is meat free.

Please feel free not to come round if you need to carry meat with you wherever you travel.

happylittlechick · 29/12/2020 06:58

My husband has been vegan for over 25years. He doesn't mind if I eat meat in the house or out of the house and even prepares meat options for our kids(ham sandwich not cooking a steak). The only disagreements on restaurants are when they don't have a vegan option. This is much less of a problem now but caused some problems 10years ago. Once he had to eat a bowl of plain rice as it was the only vegan option.

14ScottsRoad · 29/12/2020 07:20

@happylittlechick

My husband has been vegan for over 25years. He doesn't mind if I eat meat in the house or out of the house and even prepares meat options for our kids(ham sandwich not cooking a steak). The only disagreements on restaurants are when they don't have a vegan option. This is much less of a problem now but caused some problems 10years ago. Once he had to eat a bowl of plain rice as it was the only vegan option.
My DH is the same. he prepares meat for the DCs. One of our dogs is very very old and ill and he prepares chicken and all sorts of other delicacies to try and make him eat.

But he would not eat it himself.

It sparks some interesting conversations in restaurants though sometimes if he orders a vegan pizza for example. Usually one of the servers will be vegan and quite young and they often ask if he is too, because it is unusual for someone to specify 'the vegan cheese please' if they are not vegan I guess. We learned about Almond Baileys that way from a waiter at our local -ish pizza place just before Christmas.

14ScottsRoad · 29/12/2020 07:22

Anyway this whole thread has really inspired me and tonight I am making sweet potato and spinach pie for dinner. DH will be thrilled!

Norwester · 29/12/2020 10:38

I've been veggie my whole life and I have never heard a veggie or vegan comment at all on someone eating meat in front of them.

The opposite is not true.

I have a friend who tries to eat only organic food, so I have ever suggested a place that I know prides itself on its organic meat, or pointed out on a menu a specific chicken dish that she likes. I choose to go to steak houses with my Dad - I eat the same salad every time.

nosswith · 29/12/2020 10:59

Morrissey's view on this is well known. Even to the extent that no meat products are sold at his gigs.

ineedsun · 29/12/2020 14:07

@Blufandango

Being vegan and not wanting your own plates being used for meat does not mean your are imposing your beliefs on others, it means you are asking people to respect you. You might not think that veganism is comparable to religion or alcoholism but it is clear that *@testing987654321* was suggesting that you should respect an alcoholic by not taking alcohol to their house, and you should respect people's religion. If someone doesn't like dogs you wouldn't take their dog round, if someone asks you to take your shoes off at the door, you take your shoes off. If someone doesn't want meat in their plates, you don't put meat on the plate. It isn't hard. People behaving like this reflect badly on those who are respectful.
All of those things are logical, dogs can leave hair and mess, they are also annoying and in your face, shoes can leave mess but putting a few slices of meat on a plate which can easily be washed, isn't in your face and doesn't leave lasting damage. Assuming they don't want to cook a full roast (which wouldn't bother me either) it make no sense whatsoever
Blufandango · 29/12/2020 15:03

@ineedsun it might not make sense to you but that doesn't mean that it is imposing a belief, nor does it mean you can ignore someone's belief if you don't think it is good enough. Its not hard to understand -everybody can have their own view and everyone deserves respect. If you are happy to have meat on your plates, you do so. If someone doesn't want meat (or anything else for that matter) on their plates for any reason, then they don't have to. Suggesting that their belief should be ignored makes no sense whatsoever

unmarkedbythat · 30/12/2020 14:40

But inneedsun, they are not your plates, why would whether or not it makes sense to you matter? What a weird take on it.

Nowaynothappening · 30/12/2020 14:49

I’ve been vegetarian for years and I’ve never cooked meat. If my DH and DC want to eat it that’s fine but I won’t be preparing or cooking it and as I’m the main cook in the house, they don’t eat it often. I don’t like the smell or look of meat at all, it honestly turns my stomach.

No issue with people eating it around me of course, I’m not a fascist!

Deathraystare · 30/12/2020 17:33

Vegetarian (Pescatarian actually) but for the decades I have been meat free, although I don't like meat, I never try to stop anyone eating it. Even when eating out. I never grill people "Why do you eat meat" like they constantly ask my why I don't eat meat. One of my friends says "You don't know what you are missing". Er I did eat it up to the age of 21, I am now 60!

What annoys me is when people ask what I am going to eat from the menu, back in the day it was a choice of Lasagne (the only choice) mushroom rissotto (the only choice or an omelette.

They also think I am too stupid to find a veggie choice and look through the meat filled options for me. Gee I am so stupid, I cannot work it out for myself! They then suggest something with bacon/chicken/beef in it even though I have already said that X is the only veggie on the list!!!

ItsCovidOutThereThisChristmas · 30/12/2020 18:54

I am vegetarian, but the rest of the family are not, I don't mind eating out at all witth anyone eating anything- although don't really like watching seafood being pulled apart ...

Suzi888 · 30/12/2020 18:57

I used to be vegetarian, currently I only eat chicken and fish, lately not even chicken. I’ll eat vegetarian or vegan if I can and I’ll probably go back to it. It wouldn’t bother me what others eat, though I don’t think I could eat in some of the Chinese restaurants. A professor friend of mine travels extensively and has posted some stomach churning delicacies!

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