Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Vegans visiting restaurants

93 replies

AtleastitsnotMonday · 27/12/2020 15:47

Inspired by another thread (you all know which!) but not about that or wishing to cause controversy, I’m just interested to know, if you are vegan are you happy to eat in restaurants serving meat? Or with people at the same table eating meat?
I know many Vegan people for whom it is a personal choice and they don’t worry about what others do. But others were clearly repulsed by meat to the extinct that they would be uncomfortable if meat were near by. Or is it more of a case of not liking it in their home. My house, my rules. Which in my opinion is fair enough.
Like I say, I’m just interested, not looking to judge!

OP posts:

14ScottsRoad · 28/12/2020 07:01

Dh is vegan. he does not care what other people eats. He cares about what he eats. He is vegan for ethical reasons (after visiting an abattoir as part of a work assignment about 10 years back).

I cook meat. We eat out. He gets a bit annoyed when in restaurants he is faced with yet another butternut squash something but other than that he just gets on with it quietly.

He never tries to push me into things but this year i have decided to be more vegan in my own cooking because I know he would appreciate it and I love him.

14ScottsRoad · 28/12/2020 07:04

@GwendolineMarysLaces

Agree with the posters above re constantly being asked to justify my eating habits to meat eaters despite not giving a flying one about what anyone else is eating. The irony of the 'how do you know if someone is a vegan' joke /meme is never lost on me because out in the real world it's usually not the veggies banging on about it.

yes yes yes and yes again.

I know loads of vegetarians and vegans and it is other peopkle who seem to take umbrage and bang on rather than the veetarian themselves. That meme fucks me right off.

Ginfordinner · 28/12/2020 07:10

I'm an omnivore, but agree with every comment on this thread. DD is a vegetarian, and does veganuary every year. I have joined her, but admit that I struggle to enjoy tea with plant milk in it (I think I have tried every plant milk available).

I think the ignorant meat eaters are unimaginative cooks and can't think outside a meat and two veg type of meal. I like that eating a plant based diet is more popular these days as there are so many more foods available. I had never come across king oyster mushrooms until recently, for example.

Live and let live.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General food

movingonup20 · 28/12/2020 07:18

Used to be hard, my brother has been vegan for over 15 years and I used to have to call ahead and pre order often for family meals out (the kinds of places my parents would eat at didn't tend to do vegan food then but much easier now). Dd is veggie and actually does moan at her dsis and me for munching through barely seared steak (we like our steak blue) but doesn't worry about meat on pizza etc

ChristmasBubble · 28/12/2020 07:21

@FrancesHaHa

The discussions about veganism/ vegetarianism/ meat eating on MN always baffle me. IRL no one I know questions or criticises each others choices on this. All the meat eaters are happy to go to veggie restaurants sometimes or eat veggie or vegan food at a wedding. All the non meat eaters are happy to go to a restaurant that serves meat, as long as there are some decent options for them to eat on the menu. No meat eaters would take meat to a vegetarian/ vegans house, because you would be expecting to eat whatever the host choose to cook which wouldn't be meat. None of the vegans preach about animal cruelty and none of the meat eaters question their choices.

MN does feel like a different world sometimes

My experience is so so different to this. Relationship with a veggie who is now vegan and it was a constant bone of contention. I was told that if I loved them then I would give up meat. Every meal out was fraught as they wanted me not to eat meat. It was constant.

cushioncovers · 28/12/2020 07:34

Wouldn't go to a steakhouse but other than that I don't care

ememem84 · 28/12/2020 07:45

@lifestooshort123

My sister is vegan and her husband has to cook any meat products in a separate kitchenette but when they go out he's allowed a roast dinner. If we all go out she lectures us on animal cruelty etc etc - we don't go any more as it's patronising and tiresome.

My cousins like this. We’ve been for meals with her with my aunt and uncle previously and she’s a nightmare to eat with.

She’s made such a fuss in a pub (she wanted to go to) because the vegan options weren’t great.

When we’ve chosen somewhere for Sunday lunch she made a fuss because I chose the vegan menu (it looked and was amazing) but as a non vegan I’m not “allowed” to like vegan food (or you know....food).

feelingdizzy · 28/12/2020 07:56

I've been vegetarian for 30 years , It genuinely isn't something I think about much ( at all ) I will eat anywhere , all places have something veggie which is an amazing improvement .
I don't mind what others eat, I do notice that sometimes people will talk about having a big juicy meaty steak discussing it like I would be appalled and disgusted.
I just want to have my dinner actually hate all the talk about what you are eating anyway.

Thisusernameistakenagain · 28/12/2020 08:03

One thing that Does annoy me is if at a gathering or buffet type situation there one or more vegan specific dishes, meat eaters tend to go for it and empty it. Often in a 'ooh that's different I'll try that!' Manner, leaving the vegans with next to nothing because the other items on it aren't vegan friendly.

testing987654321 · 28/12/2020 09:00

Veggie here, don't want any meat in my house or on my plates etc.

I prefer eating at fully vegan or veggie places, but very few of those exist so I will eat most places.

I can fully understand a vegan not wanting anything non-vegan in their house.

I know I am a hypocrite because ethically I should be vegan.

PurpleDaisies · 28/12/2020 09:07

I can fully understand a vegan not wanting anything non-vegan in their house.

That would be my dh (veggie, I’m vegan) I don’t think I know any couples where they’re both vegetarian or vegan.

I wouldn’t cook meat for guests but they can bring it if they want. I’ll eat in any restaurant with good vegan options.

ineedsun · 28/12/2020 09:54

@testing987654321

Veggie here, don't want any meat in my house or on my plates etc.

I prefer eating at fully vegan or veggie places, but very few of those exist so I will eat most places.

I can fully understand a vegan not wanting anything non-vegan in their house.

I know I am a hypocrite because ethically I should be vegan.

Why? Don't you wash them?

ineedsun · 28/12/2020 09:58

Relationship with a veggie who is now vegan and it was a constant bone of contention. I was told that if I loved them then I would give up meat. Every meal out was fraught as they wanted me not to eat meat. It was constant.

And

They sound like dicks, maybe the diet is a vehicle for their dickishness rather than them being dicks because of their dietary choices?

lifestooshort123 · 28/12/2020 10:00

Like other posters I have never met an aggressive or rude vegan or vegetarian.
I posted upthread about my vegan sister who always makes such a big deal of it when eating out. Lectures us about reasons to be vegan, criticises choices on menu and then says how crap her meal is and they should have a vegan-trained chef. She lives on ready/processed meals that look/taste like chicken or sausages and are probably full of e-numbers. At our sister's funeral wake in a local restaurant she moaned because she shouldn't have had to ask for something that was vegan - there should have been choices on the menu (what they did prep for her looked scrummy and she licked the plate). That was 3 years ago and we won't eat out with her again. She's in the minority but they're around.

cushioncovers · 28/12/2020 10:08

Agree with others, 'difficult' vegans are 'difficult' people anyway. Veganism is just the vehicle they've chosen to rage against the world with.

whiteroseredrose · 28/12/2020 10:14

I'm another that doesn't mind what others choose to eat. I'm veggie and would like to be vegan (but cheese 😢).

Some things make me laugh though..

FIL is a meat eater who got very squeamish watching me stuff a chicken for him to eat 😂.

Plus how damned fussy meat eaters can be when choosing a restaurant.

We've walked for miles looking at restaurant menus for something that omnivore friends 'fancied' eating. For me, if there's something veggie on the menu then I'm happy.

Oh, and don't get me started on them eating the veggie options on a buffet instead of the meat.....

Babdoc · 28/12/2020 10:17

DD is veggie and it’s never been a problem. Restaurants in Edinburgh have excellent veggie choices - it’s definitely not the inevitable “mushroom risotto, take it or leave it”- and DD has had some wonderful veggie sushi, veggie Indian food, veggie Lebanese food etc and also introduced me to wholly vegetarian restaurants. She has never minded others eating meat at her table, nor have I queried her choices.
I don’t see why it would ever need to be an issue - mutual respect solves most things!
I usually make a point of commenting on the standard of veggie menu options when reviewing restaurants on Tripadvisor, as I believe it can be helpful for vegetarians looking for possible venues, particularly abroad in countries with no veggie tradition, where such food can be hard to find.

testing987654321 · 28/12/2020 10:38

Why? Don't you wash them?

What a very strange response. It's almost as though you can't imagine other people have preferences for their own private spaces and things. Would you question a person who didn't want alcohol in the house? Or a strict Jew keeping their kitchen kosher? Or a Hindu not wanting beef in their house?

Try to imagine that other people have personal preferences that don't affect you and maybe see if you can respect that.

OhNoItsADalek · 28/12/2020 11:02

Just going to leave this here...

Ginfordinner · 28/12/2020 11:23

mutual respect solves most things!

I agree. That is what was lacking on the thread that got deleted, and I'm afraid to say that the rudest comments were from the meat eaters.

Thisusernameistakenagain · 28/12/2020 13:14

Dalek, thank you for that image. My experience exactly!

OhNoItsADalek · 28/12/2020 13:55

@Thisusernameistakenagain

Dalek, thank you for that image. My experience exactly!

It's one of my favourites

OhNoItsADalek · 28/12/2020 14:21

This one is also good

NorbertMeubles · 28/12/2020 14:23

I couldn't care what others eat. I'm a vegan but don't expect others to be.

ineedsun · 28/12/2020 15:34

@testing987654321

Why? Don't you wash them?

Try to imagine that other people have personal preferences that don't affect you and maybe see if you can respect that.

Strange? Why?

The thought process is illogical and not remotely comparable to alcoholism or religion.

People behaving like this reflects badly on the rest of us who manage to live in a way which reflects our values and moral beliefs without imposing them on other people.

Flip

1 2 3 4