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Original poster

Called Fat on Christmas Day

75 replies

Feelinglow8736 · 26/12/2020 14:13

I was hosting yesterday, getting everyones drinks and food and my 6 year old niece started telling people to call me fat.

My dd said no and I just brought the drinks in the lounge and she stormed in and shouted Aunty you are so fat! I said stop being naughty and went into the kitchen. She said get away from me, you will just eat me. You are so big you will eat this whole house. Aunty is so fat!

I went into tell my ds and she was in the middle of saying her husband was so fat and couldnt fit in his new outfit. I said what happened and she did nothing. I dont know if Im being oversensitive. Ive just had a bereavement and was feeling low anyway. Im a stone overweight and intend to go on a diet in the new year. It just made me feel very low

My dh said try not to let it ruin my day, my neice came up to him yesterday wobbled his belly and started laughing. I have a child the same age and they know that is rude. I was just taken aback by the behaviour.

OP posts:
Ilovesandwiches · 26/12/2020 15:25

Bless you! your sister is very wrong for allowing That to happen

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 26/12/2020 15:26

I would have told her off for being rude and nasty in a calm but firm way and not let it get to me at all. A stone is nothing but manners are everything.

DelphiniumBlue · 26/12/2020 15:28

@Chocolate1992

Are you fat? Kids are just honest sometimes..

Obviously heard it from somewhere and needs teaching some basic manners but you can’t blame them for being honest

Are you a bully? That is the only reason that I can think of why you post something so unkind. Just being honest.

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Mammy20 · 26/12/2020 15:29

I would make a science, and tell everyone out loud how rude the little niece is. Make her feel ashamed of what she’s saying and her parents too. Otherwise it is very hurtful.

SirGawain · 26/12/2020 15:32

It doesn't matter how much you weigh OP, a six year old should not be behaving in that way and her parents are pretty appalling allowing such rude behavior to go unchallenged.

ClinkyMonkey · 26/12/2020 15:32

That is most definitely not acceptable. I honestly would have told her she was being extremely rude.

When a child calls someone a poo head or a stinky bum, it's a bit cheeky, but it's very general and there is usually an acceptance that they are simply thinking of the rudest words (hilarious...) they can and pushing your buttons to get a reaction. But calling someone fat is very specific and personal and should never be brushed away as a child being silly. Perhaps the child, at 6, does not understand the difference, but they are unlikely to say it to someone they view as skinny and, ultimately, it is the responsibility of parents to ensure that their child has a social filter.

AriesTheRam · 26/12/2020 15:37

I'd have legged her over on the sly or similar.Rude little shit.

Nymeriastark1 · 26/12/2020 15:38

@Chocolate1992

Are you fat? Kids are just honest sometimes..

Obviously heard it from somewhere and needs teaching some basic manners but you can’t blame them for being honest

@Chocolate1992 are the little shits mum by any chance? Hmm
WorraLiberty · 26/12/2020 15:38

If that was my niece and her parents were that useless, I would've taken her to task myself and to hell with the consequences.

ReindeerAntlerLights · 26/12/2020 15:38

I work with year 3s so 7 and 8 year olds, we tell them very firmly that no comments are to be made about someone's appearance unless it is to say something nice.

It is easily driven home when we ask them if they want everyone in the class to say something about their appearance because inevitably there are children who they don't get on with.

I would have tried to shut her down with telling her we don't make comments about they way someone looks. The fact that she was trying to encourage others to say you were fat says a lot about her parents and just because they didn't shut it down doesn't mean I wouldn't have. I would have told her she was rude and ill mannered.

Nymeriastark1 · 26/12/2020 15:39

*you

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/12/2020 15:39

Yes it is rude. For me, however, there is too much stigma with being called fat and therefore it has become an insult. When my dd called me fat. I just shrugged and nonchantly said, yes, I am fat. So what. It actually shut her up far more than telling her off. She never said it again.

mbosnz · 26/12/2020 15:49

It is very rude, and assuming there are no reasons why this six year old is not able to abide by normal social mores, unacceptable.

In the absence of your sister parenting her daughter, I would be telling her very sternly that she is being very rude, very naughty, and that if she cannot mind her manners, I will be asking her Mum to take her home.

FunTimes2020 · 26/12/2020 15:53

@lljkk

6 yr olds do brattish things. Another time it would be "You poohead!"

imho, you're making this out to be more meaningful than it needs to be.

Only those that are badly brought up. Mine never behaved like this. Sorry you were upset, OP.
TitsInAbsentia · 26/12/2020 15:59

I'd have used the "I can lose weight but you'll still be ugly" line...never to young to learn the lesson of don't dish it out if you can't take it back! It might also stop the mother saying such shit and let's me honest that's where the child has got it from (whether the mother was saying it about her husband or you).

WankPuffins · 26/12/2020 16:08

Wow, so rude!

If someone told me my dc had said that to them I would've hit the roof! I wouldn't accept that from my children at all.

Sounds like your sister is just as bad though. So it's clear where this child gets it from.

WankPuffins · 26/12/2020 16:10

@lljkk

6 yr olds do brattish things. Another time it would be "You poohead!"

imho, you're making this out to be more meaningful than it needs to be.

I have a 6 year old Dd and i guarantee you she would never speak to an adult that way (and hopefully not be so mean to another child), because I have brought her and my older Ds to be well mannered.
PhilCornwall1 · 26/12/2020 16:12

I would have told her mother to collect all the child's things and anyone else that was with her and told them all to bugger off and not come back.

Problem solved.

pinkdragons · 26/12/2020 16:35

I was this kid. I remember being 5 or 6 and calling my D.grandmother fat. And telling her I wouldn't hug her because she was so fat.

Horrible memory and I'm so sorry now, obviously. It was true though that she was pretty fat and I was just starting to realise about body shapes and things like that.
I doubt your DN was being intentionally horrible - but of course discipline needed.

Goatinthegarden · 26/12/2020 16:44

@lljkk

6 yr olds do brattish things. Another time it would be "You poohead!"

imho, you're making this out to be more meaningful than it needs to be.

I’ve taught 6 year olds and have very rarely been called names, by only the most challenging of children. The vast majority of six year olds know that it is completely disrespectful to speak to adults in this way.

OP I’m sorry this 6 year old spoke to you that way and that her mother failed to address the behaviour. Try not to take it to heart.

Leannethom85 · 26/12/2020 17:08

If I was cheeky to an aunt I'd have had my backside skelped but even then never ever dream of calling them names, how things have changed kids have no discipline not even a telling off so of course we should expect them to call us names. Because if that was my niece and she was following me about calling me names, I'd have shouted at my sister told her to grab her stuff and take her child with her and get to fk out my house. Nobody should put up with that from a child esp in their own home.

thehairyhog · 26/12/2020 17:11

@Chocolate1992

Are you fat? Kids are just honest sometimes..

Obviously heard it from somewhere and needs teaching some basic manners but you can’t blame them for being honest

This! You've just said you're overweight. It's ok to feel upset and understandable but it's not really a 6yos fault. Kids say things.
thehairyhog · 26/12/2020 17:14

Also, fat doesn't always have to be taken as an insult. It's just a descriptive word, especially to a 6 year old.

Plussizejumpsuit · 26/12/2020 17:15

@Chocolate1992

Are you fat? Kids are just honest sometimes..

Obviously heard it from somewhere and needs teaching some basic manners but you can’t blame them for being honest

Read the op. A stone overweight is hardly noticeable in terms of what a kid would call dat if they we re growing up in a normal environment.

OP the home environment sounds awful re weight. This is really unacceptable from the child. Even if you are fat it's very rude to say so and the kid should be taught this. The kid is obvs obnoxious but you don't go round saying so.

time4anothername · 26/12/2020 17:18

was it your DSis who was saying her DH was fat when you came back in? Wasn't sure from the OP?

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