Since I became disabled and too feeble to enjoy browsing the shops I really hate choosing gifts for people. It's much easier to come up with "thoughtful" gifts when you keep being inspired by seeing new, interesting stuff on display.
Sometimes I'd feel obliged to spend more than I could afford, on gifts that were likely to be thrown out along with the wrapping paper (and yes, that really did happen one particularly memorable year).
Reading all the posts on here disparaging toiletry gift sets, or dismissing gift vouchers as "thoughtless" is downright depressing.
All my adult friends are in the fortunate position of being able to afford to buy themselves any items they desire, so I thought it was a good idea, and in the spirit of Christmas, to exchange charity gifts with adults. Until I saw all the threads here with people suggesting giving charity gifts as acts of passive aggression and revenge (because they only improve the lives of people in dire need), when the proper thing to do is spend ages choosing something you think that individual will appreciate, (while knowing that they will probably unwrap it only to grumble about being obliged to make a drop off at the charity shop in January).
So this year I put a reminder in my digital calendar to contact all the adults I normally exchange gifts with in August, to let them know that I was not going to be buying presents for grown ups this year, and didn't expect any for myself.
Which worked well, except for one lovely friend, who blithely agreed that it made loads of sense not to add to the stress of Christmas by shopping for loads of gifts for adults who already have everything they want and need. Then she turned up a few days before Christmas to hand over a bag full of "little things" "nothing really" "just saw it and thought you might like it" wrapped gifts. Leaving me roiling with an uncomfortable mixture of equal parts gratitude and irritation.
Why don't we all just agree to spend £15 on buying ourselves something frivolous that we fancy but wouldn't normally waste money on? That way everyone gets something they actually desire, and we don't waste tons of time, energy and wrapping paper on exchanging things we like but the recipient sees as annoying tat?
Also, why do people keep on sending me cards, and shoving cards through my door? I haven't bought, made or posted any cards for at least 10 years, and when I still had the energy I would write back later in the year thanking the card senders but making a point of saying that I have stopped sending paper cards because I'm too knackered to be arsed with them, and suggesting that they e-mail or skype me instead. Sometimes, to people who I know well, I will also confess that cards annoy me with their glitter dropping, unrecyclable, fall-over-and-flutter-off-just-out-of-reach-under-the-furniture, bastardry. I don't have the energy to decorate for Christmas, and every card that arrives reminds me of that, rubbing salt into the wound and making me feel like a bad friend, acquaintance or neighbour for not reciprocating. So I have to waste more of my meagre energy resources on reminding myself that social obligations can fuck right off to the far side of fuck.
I'm starting to see all these unsolicited cards as a form of psychological warfare. Especially the ones from neighbours who I hardly ever see and haven't spoken with for years. Sneaking round shoving cards through my letter box, making me feel that I should have added a pack of crappy cards to my grocery order and then tried to hobble around pushing them through doors in retaliation.
I've been toying with the idea of getting my revenge by making a load of Valentines day cards, "from a sekrit admirer" and shoving them through letter boxes up and down the street in the dead of night come early February. Take that you buggers!