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Anyone else have a bad year for presents?

95 replies

IsItJustMeOrIsIt · 25/12/2020 16:48

Or is it just me?

OP posts:
RenegadeMrs · 25/12/2020 20:54

Worse, I married her son!

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2020 20:56

@RenegadeMrs

Worse, I married her son!
But then you gave her upgrade babies (grandkids) so that negates stealing her actual baby
Christmashottubintheshed · 25/12/2020 20:57

Dh presented me with perfume he wrapped this morning and £300. I feel a bit like he’s paying me for my time.

He was apparently mystified when we went into tier 4 the other day and hadn’t thought to buy any gifts prior to this. Lucky I’d been putting things away for the dc snd wider family since September then! He’s otherwise a good man and I’m not bothered about presents at our age but still, a bit of effort would have been appreciated. Grin

Redkatagain · 25/12/2020 20:57

I received absolutely nothing today and absolutely nothing yesterday (birthday) or even cards.
I am alone while DH and DSC are with MIL.Parents and brother all live within 3 miles and I have spent both days totally alone.

Lunch today was a microwave ready meal for one. I knew this was going to be the case so I was prepared but it still feels rubbish and hurtful.

Be grateful that you have people that are with you today, even if it hasn't been the ideal day.

ISmellLikeRobin · 25/12/2020 21:01

I feel really ungrateful but I'm not convinced anyone put any thought into what I might actually like this year. My DC drew me pictures, because they like to draw, but at least they went to the trouble of asking what my favourite animals were so they could draw something I liked. That was quite sweet. Although they weren't actually recognisable & I only knew what they were because they were labelled...

DH got me a drink which is my standard, everyday alcohol. Not that I drink everyday, but it's not a "special" thing for me, IYSWIM. He also got me a portable bluetooth speaker that I have absolutely no interest in. His reasoning was that I like to listen to music on my phone... Which I'm perfectly happy doing. The sound quality is adequate & it's only one thing to carry around. We live in a small terraced house with little sound proofing - I don't want to annoy the neighbours with loud music & I don't have many free surfaces to be putting things. Plus, I rarely stay in one room listening to music so I'd have to be carrying the speaker around all the time. It was clearly a "wandering around the supermarket looking for inspiration" type gift.

The other thing he gave me was a DVD of Strictly dances... All of which are on YouTube, which is how I watch them, also on my phone while pottering around. I can choose exactly what I want to watch without having to go through all the faff of setting up a DVD & flicking through the dances. Our TV is about as small as TVs come these days so it's not even like it's a massively better picture or anything!

My parents said they were going to get me vouchers for something I want, they got me a game that's mostly for the DC. They also didn't get the things I was expecting them to get for DH or one of the DC. I would've got them those things if I'd known because they were things at the top of my list that I knew they especially wanted & would be excited to receive. I planned on letting my parents get the gratitude, instead they just don't have some of the things they wanted.

None of our siblings bothered to send anything for any of us. 1 cries poverty, while buying his DC 50 presents each. The others just don't seem to care.

I spoke to my grandmother & she said my gift is going to be a hand-knitted jumper or cardigan & I get to choose the pattern & colour. I have sensory issues. I hate all knitted things & she seems to manage to find the scratchiest wool & always makes everything just that tiny bit too small. I can't tell her that though because she always stresses how much she enjoys doing it.

I've been planning Christmas since October & put so much thought, time & energy into choosing things for other people. 2 of my DC have come to me to actually thank me for making Christmas special for them. All I can think is that it's a shame no-one cared enough to do the same for me.

Added to all that, I'm awaiting the results of medical tests. There's a chance that next year could be significantly worse than this one for me. Maybe I won't even make it to next Christmas. There's probably a higher chance that there's nothing wrong with me, or if there is, it could be entirely treatable... But why let a little thing like logic get in the way of a good moan?! Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2020 21:02

Why have your fancy gone out and left you @Redkatagain. Is he imminently exdp?

Happy Birthday for yesterday and an inmumsnetty hug for both days

LuckyAmy1986 · 25/12/2020 21:07

How many people buy presents for you?! I only get some from DH and that’s it ( happy with it btw

Folicky · 25/12/2020 21:08

@mudsicalmusic love this... I'm going it next year!

Redkatagain · 25/12/2020 21:09

No. He is normally lovely. DSC was let down (again) by her DM so to enable her to have some sort of family Christmas, he took her to see MIL.

MIL and I tolerate each other but I was not invited. I was OK with this. I felt that DSC feelings mattered more than mine

Vitaminsss · 25/12/2020 21:12

I didn’t get anything major this year which was a bit disappointing, just little things like candles, plants/house decor and makeup. Still pleasantly surprised though!

Not going to lie, I did buy myself a couple of thingsGrin it’s actually satisfying to buy things and put them aside for a month!

MerryGoRoundBrain · 25/12/2020 21:17

I’ve had a lovely day overall but for the first time ever presents from DP were shit. I sent him a link to what I wanted. Just this one thing, relatively pricey but within budget.
Instead, he bought me a few smaller things, probably spent the same amount of money on them in total. The stuff is ok, nothing hideous, but really not what I wanted and it’s kind of a random selection.
I realise I’m being an ungrateful cow btw.

Twobrews · 25/12/2020 21:26

They also didn't get the things I was expecting them to get for DH or one of the DC. I would've got them those things if I'd known because they were things at the top of my list that I knew they especially wanted & would be excited to receive. I planned on letting my parents get the gratitude, instead they just don't have some of the things they wanted.
I find this so frustrating, Obviously people can buy what they like but if they ask for ideas I do wish they'd let me know if they're not going to use them so I can either pass it on to someone else or get it myself.

We must've missed a memo with DH's siblings as we got them all quite expensive gifts and got nothing in return from two of them and a token from the other.

pastaparadise · 25/12/2020 21:35

Bad year here. Dc are too young to do presents, and dp got nothing on their behalf. Dm is ill so asked me to get something for myself, but i was too busy to get round to it.

I asked dp for 1 main thing and sent him a link weeks ago, but he didnt look in time so by last week they had all sold out. I then gave him 2 easy alternatives, and he got me neither. I got a bottle of wine (which i never drink quickly so I'll end up sharing with him), socks, some toiletries, and a top in a colour i dont like. Dont mean to sound ungrateful, but he just put so little effort in I'm really disappointed.

OxoMonarch · 25/12/2020 21:47

We said we weren’t doing presents... I still got DH two things from each DC, and every other thing he mentioned liking, including some expensive brandy.

I got Baylis and Harding bubble bath that gives me thrush, and a box of chocolates.

Oh well, sale shopping beckons.

westr · 25/12/2020 21:52

My husband didn't get me a single present. I spent £500 on his gifts.

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2020 21:53

@Redkatagain

No. He is normally lovely. DSC was let down (again) by her DM so to enable her to have some sort of family Christmas, he took her to see MIL.

MIL and I tolerate each other but I was not invited. I was OK with this. I felt that DSC feelings mattered more than mine

She'd have surely had a family Christmas with you and her Dad tho. I'm sorry you've been let down, you're a very generous step Mom
SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2020 21:54

@OxoMonarch

We said we weren’t doing presents... I still got DH two things from each DC, and every other thing he mentioned liking, including some expensive brandy.

I got Baylis and Harding bubble bath that gives me thrush, and a box of chocolates.

Oh well, sale shopping beckons.

I don't get why people do this. Why say no presents and then buy them loads? Why not just be honest and say actually I do want a present and I will buy you one
Frenchiethesnowman · 25/12/2020 22:19

I've had a good year for presents. Gave the kids some money & my teen took charge. I got a beautiful picture of the kids framed, a book & some prosseco (she got her friends mum to buy it). I also got a voucher good for 1 night of free babysitting. 1st year as a single parent and I am very proud of my children.

ClosedAuraOpenMind · 25/12/2020 22:26

good year here. 5 bottles of gin (which should help me through lockdown GrinConfusedConfused) couple of ok tops, some vouchers from DPILs, and less tat from DM than usual
DH picked some bits of the list I gave him (I don't like surprises GrinConfused)

titbumwillypoo · 25/12/2020 22:33

We, as always said no presents, I got her a book she hasn't got, some matchmakers and some new slippers. She got me a daughter that is giggling with her friend in the other room. I'm feeling pretty content with what I got. I've got enough stuff.

BillysMyBunny · 25/12/2020 22:35

@OxoMonarch

We said we weren’t doing presents... I still got DH two things from each DC, and every other thing he mentioned liking, including some expensive brandy.

I got Baylis and Harding bubble bath that gives me thrush, and a box of chocolates.

Oh well, sale shopping beckons.

To be fair if you said no presents then getting bubble bath and chocolates seems okay. You can’t say no to presents and then be upset not to get anything more than a token.
Copperzippedup · 25/12/2020 22:37

A good year for me - I bought very little and yet everyone seemed happy! We’ll keep it minimal in future.

KimchiLaLa · 25/12/2020 22:43

@westr

My husband didn't get me a single present. I spent £500 on his gifts.
What the hell? I hope he feels ashamed of himself
HMSBeagle · 25/12/2020 22:44

I had some lovely presents. Dh normally does ok with choosing mine but this year got me a necklace that is way to tight. I cant get it on.

I bought some bags for myself in the sale and asked him if he could reimburse me, but he didnt so I will use them year.

I think next year i will go back to sending him links on pay day. We dont spend much on each other any more so at least it's not like I spent ages choosing his either. So cant get too upset really. Just a shame as it was quite cute

Beccasb · 25/12/2020 22:51

I feel disappointed, mainly that a friend clearly doesn’t know me too well and presents from my DP were obviously last minute things. He seems to have made much less of an effort this year, Im not really sure how to address it? Should I say his presents were disappointing or leave it? I put lots of thought into his, it’s not the cost it’s the thought.

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