I feel really ungrateful but I'm not convinced anyone put any thought into what I might actually like this year. My DC drew me pictures, because they like to draw, but at least they went to the trouble of asking what my favourite animals were so they could draw something I liked. That was quite sweet. Although they weren't actually recognisable & I only knew what they were because they were labelled...
DH got me a drink which is my standard, everyday alcohol. Not that I drink everyday, but it's not a "special" thing for me, IYSWIM. He also got me a portable bluetooth speaker that I have absolutely no interest in. His reasoning was that I like to listen to music on my phone... Which I'm perfectly happy doing. The sound quality is adequate & it's only one thing to carry around. We live in a small terraced house with little sound proofing - I don't want to annoy the neighbours with loud music & I don't have many free surfaces to be putting things. Plus, I rarely stay in one room listening to music so I'd have to be carrying the speaker around all the time. It was clearly a "wandering around the supermarket looking for inspiration" type gift.
The other thing he gave me was a DVD of Strictly dances... All of which are on YouTube, which is how I watch them, also on my phone while pottering around. I can choose exactly what I want to watch without having to go through all the faff of setting up a DVD & flicking through the dances. Our TV is about as small as TVs come these days so it's not even like it's a massively better picture or anything!
My parents said they were going to get me vouchers for something I want, they got me a game that's mostly for the DC. They also didn't get the things I was expecting them to get for DH or one of the DC. I would've got them those things if I'd known because they were things at the top of my list that I knew they especially wanted & would be excited to receive. I planned on letting my parents get the gratitude, instead they just don't have some of the things they wanted.
None of our siblings bothered to send anything for any of us. 1 cries poverty, while buying his DC 50 presents each. The others just don't seem to care.
I spoke to my grandmother & she said my gift is going to be a hand-knitted jumper or cardigan & I get to choose the pattern & colour. I have sensory issues. I hate all knitted things & she seems to manage to find the scratchiest wool & always makes everything just that tiny bit too small. I can't tell her that though because she always stresses how much she enjoys doing it.
I've been planning Christmas since October & put so much thought, time & energy into choosing things for other people. 2 of my DC have come to me to actually thank me for making Christmas special for them. All I can think is that it's a shame no-one cared enough to do the same for me.
Added to all that, I'm awaiting the results of medical tests. There's a chance that next year could be significantly worse than this one for me. Maybe I won't even make it to next Christmas. There's probably a higher chance that there's nothing wrong with me, or if there is, it could be entirely treatable... But why let a little thing like logic get in the way of a good moan?! 