Told friend she is unreasonable to expect others to act as her free taxi service

[PandemicAtTheDisco]

My friend is outraged her daughter's ex MIL won't be her unpaid taxi today. The daughter's ex MIL lives near her daughter, has other things to do today as hosting her own family and wants to drink later on. She could get a taxi but will need to pay £20 each way and doesn't want to pay.

She is now at home, on her own, sulking. She doesn't even get on with her daughter's ex MIL but just can't see she is unreasonable to expect her to drop everything to accommodate her wishes. I wasn't outraged enough in solidarity so am now being given the silent treatment too.

Am I a bad friend for not seeing her POV?

Does your friend have any decent qualities, or is she one of those friends that you have for ages so you keep the friendship going? I wildness be friends with someone with that attitude.

*wouldnt

I'm more a source of support to her than a friend these days. The friendship has deteriorated with covid and her health issues. She has the attitude that everyone should be accommodating her and expects too much from them.

It would be nice if people could give her lifts but it's not cruel if they won't. It is hard living with mobility issues but I don't expect others to go out of their way for me. I try to be independent.

So why doesn't she just put £40 in her daughter's account to cover the taxi fares? It makes much more sense.

My friend is the mother.

She wants to get a lift from her daughter's ex-partner's mother - her daughter's ex MIL.

She wants to visit her daughter - not the daughter's ex MIL.

The daughter's ex MIL lives nearby, is hosting her own family Christmas with her children, grandchildren and is drinking alcohol so can't drive.

Is she my Mil, expects everyone to drop things to give her a lift like unpaid taxis!

Is her daughters ex-MIL also a friend of your friend ? If not this all seems very odd, why on earth would you expect the mother of your daughters ex to be driving you anywhere?

No. My friend doesn't like her as the ex MIL sees her grandchildren more often and helps with childcare.

The only connection is through the daughter. The ex MIL lives near the daughter so they only see each other occasionally when she visits her daughter.

Nothing was arranged beforehand she just expected she'd happily be given a lift there and back. She's never been in her daughter's ex MILs car before and there was no offer from the daughter's ex MIL made for her to provide transport when she's busy on Christmas day with her own family.

She has had to wait ages as no taxis are available as they were all booked weeks ago. Daughter's ex MIL "has let her down"!

I’m confused about who is who and where this lady wanted to go

But she cannot expect anyone to be an unpaid taxi service. She doesn’t sound like someone you’d want to be friends with?

Seriously do not understand why she thinks her daughters ex mil should be her taxi for the day.

She basically expect a person she has a vague connection to run her around on Christmas day.

Utterly delusional!!

YANBU. I'm a non driver and I get taxis if I want to go somewhere when there's no public transport available. It's no one else's problem that I don't drive.

This is still confusing. Where was your friend wanting the lift to/ from? Was she supposed to be going to go the Ex-MILs house for Christmas? Is her daughter still close to her ex-MIL? If the friend was going somewhere unrelated to her daughters ex-MIL I can’t see how she possibly thought she would be anything to do with the arrangements?

My friend - the mother ---- A
My friend's ( A's) daughter ---- B
Daughter's (B's) ex partner's mother (B's ex MIL)---C

A wants to visit B today
B lives near C
A wants C to give her a lift to B's house.

Has C given A lifts to and from B’s house before?

Wow why would she expect a lift.
I expect theyre happy she isn’t coming if that is how she acts. Seems a stretch they invited her anyway. I assume they invited her just because they had her daughter and grandkids and felt obliged to invite her.

If she wants to visit her daughter and her daughter wants her to visit, can the daughter pay for a taxi, or pick her up? Why on earth does she expect someone she only has a vague connection to to act as a taxi?

Is this real, or are you just a bit bored today?

As far as I know C has never given A lifts before but C often gives B and her children lifts.

C is hosting for her own family and is drinking so can't drive later.

B is hosting for her family. A was invited to B's house.

B was calling around to C's house later on with the grandchildren.

It is real and I am also a bit bored today.

Why on earth would her daughters EX MIL put herself out to help at any point, let alone on Christmas Day?? She has no connection to your friend any longer, they aren't family.

So not unreasonable to tell her she's unreasonable!

In answer to your question, you are not a bad friend.

I do not believe you are a friend. I think your so-called friend is a selfish user aka cheeky fucker. She uses you too I expect. I doubt your supposed friendship involves equal support.

Dump the sulky CF who has given you shit on Christmas Day to the extent you are posting on MN. You don't need that in your life.

@PandemicAtTheDisco

It is real and I am also a bit bored today.

So am I so I am glad you posted!

Your friend is a CF, frankly, she sounds like one of life's takers. I'm a non driver, & have mobility issues. Ditto my DH. We live on the edge of town. We don't expect, or ask for lifts, unless there is absolutely no other choice, & it's an essential journey, e.g. a hospital appointment & there are no buses. Even then we always offer petrol money.

To expect a lift from someone she barely knows & isn't on great terms with, at short notice at Christmas, during a pandemic, is ridiculous. She needs to reassess her attitude. She will not be the only person spending the day alone when they didn't want to, & while it's crap to be in that position, honestly, people with attitudes like this do often find they have little support, because they push everyone away.