This is all a bit crap, isn't it? Or is it just me?!

[lookatgiraffenow]

I haven't seen my parents and family since last Christmas and, due to the various tiers and rules, I won't see them this year.

I'm lucky in that we have food in the fridge, presents for the kids and a comfortable house...but Christmas feels so flat this year. I've cried in bathroom twice today. Getting on with the prep for tomorrow and trying to be smiley for the kids but it's all shit and I can't wait to get back to work on 27th. If DH tells me to stop being grumpy one more time I will explode.

Bah frickin' humbug.

DD has lit loads of candles, we've got mulled wine, presents are all wrapped, veg prepared, and we're watching the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols on TV. I'm well into the Christmas mood, even if there are only three of us here instead of the usual 8 or more.

@Emmylou292

💐 Cry it out, it might make you feel a bit better.
We're doing all sorts tomorrow with our residents, We'll try and make it a happy occasion, but we'll be there to offer hugs and shoulders to cry on for those understandably upset, I know it's not the same as family, but I hope it helps them a little. We'll be taking lots of pics to send to families too. I hope your son's care home is the same, could you window visit or face time?
Very hard when someone doesn't understand.

I lost my shit very early this morning and felt sad all day and I usually count down the sleeps like a big kid...it's extremely difficult this year I find...

My grandfather died of covid in early December. I’m looking at all the old pictures and thinking of him and my Nan tonight and all the lovely Christmas times we shared. My parents are isolating so it’s just me and dc. Will FaceTime tomorrow

i’m watching Uncle Buck with the cat. just me and him for xmas this year. i’ve been shielding for most of the year and we go into Tier 4 on Boxing Day.

i’m grateful that Asda have kept my priority delivery slots open. i have nice food, leccy on the meter and a lot of blankets. i don’t usually like christmas but weirdly, this year feels ok. i have grown much closer to my family this year, we’re all far-flung but keep in touch. also a couple of close friends where we have kept each other going.

so yes, it’s crap for people who can’t see loved ones and had plans that have now been scuppered. i guess oddly i’m lucky in that i knew i would be on my own so i’ve had time to get used to it.

wishing everyone a tolerable Christmas and a better New Year.

@SmallChrismas i’m so sorry for your loss.

my dad died 2 years ago and his funeral was just before christmas. it changes everything. allow yourself to grieve, light a candle and have the best day you can. my condolences.

Yeah it's rubbish. My dad dropped my presents off this morning and stayed at the door for a couple of minutes. It's more than a lot of people have had, I know, but I've spent every Christmas Day with them and it's upsetting me so much that I can't do that, and it's literally illegal for me to go inside my childhood home with all our decorations and our tree, and our cat .. - sigh -

@OmarListening

Yes it's shite. I'm going to get thoroughly shitfaced tomorrow.

I cried too. Gonna get shitfaced tonight instead. Not seen my family since last Xmas as they all live other end of the country from me.

I hear you, OP. I have lots to be grateful for, but feel sad today. Had a bit of a cry listening to Carols from King's.

@Emmylou292

The tears have started now I've spoken about it!!!!!

Let it out lovely. Wishing you strength and happiness

I'm 17, I'm emancipated from my family and this is my first year without them. No money (£800 into overdraft to be exact), no Christmas presents and no relatives. I have a DP but he's working on the 25th so I'll be cooped up in the flat alone.

I'm just pretending it's not happening, I think it's easier that way. I reckon my relatives are still meeting up with each other for Christmas so trying not to focus on the loss, which somehow is harder than I anticipated. Sorry very self pitying, but just waiting for 2021!

I agree and to make things even worse my dad is in intensive care having been in theatre all day yesterday for an emergency operation his chances of surviving are thin.
I’m trying to paint a happy face for the kids but I just can’t do it.

I’m glad we’ve had an excuse to dodge family, but I’m probably in a minority. I do feel for those struggling. It’s been a weird old year. There’ll be so many families missing relatives this year. I feel grateful for my life and those I love in it.

@Parkermumma07

I agree and to make things even worse my dad is in intensive care having been in theatre all day yesterday for an emergency operation his chances of surviving are thin. I’m trying to paint a happy face for the kids but I just can’t do it.

Really hope he pulls through and you get positive news tomorrow

I'm not feeling it either. It's always been tradition to phone my Dad at midnight on Xmas Eve/Xmas Day but this year I won't be.

So glad I’m not the only one.
Every other family I know is mixing with other households (t4) which makes me jealous and bitter.

It's felt very weird without the build up.

It's not that there hasn't been one because I work in a school but there's no panto, nativity, assembly, parents watching performance and them coming to class or mince pies.

But ds and I haven't really done things like wander around markets, pub lunch etc.

We are lucky to be in T2 so can meet parents tomorrow which I'm grateful for as mum has terminal cancer.

But it feels flat when I know the following day I don't know when the next time I'll see her will be.

Not helped when my sister who has no ounce of empathy beyond herself and is in childcare support bubble with my parents keeps posting selfie's of them all with my nephew at various lights things and out doing Christmas stuff.

definitely have to appreciate better times, when they come

It’s okay to not feel happy just because you are more fortunate that some.

It sucks and I feel like bursting into tears. I’m an adult still living with my parents and other sibling. We normally go to my aunts house. It takes the pressure off as we don’t have to cook. My other cousin comes round and brings his two children. I love seeing them and giving their presents but obviously can’t go this year. I’m also missing my other cousin that died last year, completely unrelated to Christmas. We’ve left everything so late this year. We were still decorating the house today. Only put the tree a few days ago and still got a couple of presents to wrap. I’m doing the cooking tomoro as well. It just feels like we are just having a roast. We don’t play games or anything like that. But being at my aunts there is more of an atmosphere with the children. I even bought a game we could play as I thought we were going there this year but being in tier 4 changed that. Got to make the most of it I guess.

Anyway, I see threads EVERY year saying that they want their own little family Christmas. No family guests or visiting people. No in laws or parents either. So I’m surprised there are a lot of people upset at being at home with their own family.

I’m looking forward to having my daughter and grandkids round for the day tomorrow, I haven’t seen them for ages so I’m going to be very happy for just 1 day!
No amount of flaming will spoil it. .

Christmas Eve was always my favourite time of year because of the anticipation. I love to remember all the past Christmas Eves and how I spent them

I've not slept brilliantly the last few nights with worry so I've been tearful very easily. My friends came over to stand distanced on my doorstep and did a lovely little thing for me that set me off. Our household has barely seen anyone since March because shielding Dh.

Then I went inside and the little chorister singing the first verse of Once in Royal David City set me off again.

Got my food & presents ok and my lovely adult dc, Dh & I have all lived reasonably amicably together since March but I've not slept in bed with Dh since then as we occasionally have to go out to the chemist or clinic etc. So tonight I'm on the blow up bed again in the living room!! It's quite comfy but I could do with a cuddle with Dh. Have trained myself not to think about it.

Of course I'm teary again reading this thread, but it's quite therapeutic. Thinking of every of you and our difficulties big and small.

"Just to rub salt in the wound, I ordered a small turkey and Ocado substituted it with one the size of an obese emu on steroids."

Ah @orangenasturtium that description is brilliant and made me laugh!

Op that's awful so sad you can't see your family.

Unfortunately mine passed away a few years ago. It's been a blessing strangely in this current times!!

My dp never met my dc or enjoyed any gc inspite of having 4 dc.
Another sibling also passed away.

I was also homeless one Xmas!

I think I'm quite resilient now and always try and keep upbeat.

Try and put things into perspective...

Even our current situation we as the west our lucky to be facing this pandemic with houses, cars reasonable public transportation, doctors and NHS... Places like countries in Africa do not have any of this and its kicking off their.
Many NHS staff won't be with their families this year, and some people in spite of covid will be at the bedside of relatives dying in pain... Because we don't allow terminally ill people to die quickly we make them stagger on until the bitterest end of all..

Winter was always going to be the toughest time of the virus so hang in there until February... The sun is our greatest help... Millions will be vaccinated... And the tide will turn.