I know that newborns mean sleepless nights but I am now getting no sleep at all whatsoever ever, what can I do?

[Snuzpods]

I'm completely used to the sleep disruption as DC1 didn't sleep through until over 2 years and was an every half hr sort of waker as a baby for months but usually slotted in a 2 hour sleep at least once a night

Have a beautiful month old now and sleep wasn't too bad at first, difficult to put down etc as totally expected but managed to get a bit of sleep each night by swaddling, white noise, waiting until deeply asleep on me before transferring to crib etc

It's got progressively worse though and although I can transfer her now, she almost always wakes grunting and groaning within five minutes and screaming a couple of minutes after that. I don't want to sleep holding her as it's too dangerous, cosleeping makes no difference whatsoever so I might as well be trying with the bedside crib which we'd been using before, but it just does not work at all now ever

I have literally not slept all night and did not sleep at all last night, can't try for naps in the day even if I could put her down as have a preschooler at home with me full time in the day

DC1 will be getting up for the day soon so I definitely won't be sleeping until tonight at least and I just don't know how many days of not sleeping is sustainable

DH May be able to help for a couple of hours tonight between work

Family help not possible at the moment

I don't know what to do! Tried tilting crib in case of silent reflux, swaddling, not swaddling, white noise etc

She's colicky in the evenings so need to walk round with her in the sling, nothing else works at that sort of time although occasionally I can put her down in the day. Sometimes she's happy to lie in pram and look about for half an hour or so but I don't think it's that safe for sleeping and also can't with DC1 to look after. I don't think she has a particular medical issue, but I could call health visitor

Help! If I could even pay somebody to watch the DC in the day so I could sleep a little I would but I don't think that would be allowed or possible.

It also comes with a 30 day sleep guarantee so if it doesn’t help your baby you can return it

Also was going to mention your DH.
I know he is at work but both of you are because you have a baby and small child in the day.
You need to be doing shifts in the night in between breastfeeding.
At one point my DH took my baby on a 2 hour car ride in the middle of the night just so I could get 2 hours sleep. Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Cosleep is the only way I could survive.

I really feel for you. Both of mine were horrific sleepers to the extent that I had hallucinations.

Lots of useful advice here, all of which I tried. The best thing as co-sleeping. You can do it safely and with DS2 we started pretty much straight away. Lie on your side in the feral position, baby’s head on your bottom arm which is crooked around him, cradling his bottom. Covers to waist, wear a cardie for warmth. I think WHO has guidelines on safe co-sleeping complete with diagrams.

If you have the money, would you consider a maternity night nanny? An emergency nanny for the other child so you can get some sleep during the day. Any competent nanny could handle a newborn and a toddler. I understand there’s a lot of candidates looking for work at the moment and nannies can work in your house even if you are in Tier 4.

Your DH also needs to step up and share the pain.

Ha ha!

Fetal position. Although I felt pretty feral most of the time.

I could have written this post myself, a few years ago. After trying loads of the suggestions on here, and nothing working, I realised I was going to have to stay up most of the night with baby, so I started going to bed at 7 with my 3 year old, (earplugs, door shut etc), and DH stayed with baby until
12/1 ish, with a bottle of expressed milk to keep her going until I got up. He then went to bed and I did the night shift.

It lasted until baby was 2 1/2 months and then all of a sudden stopped and baby managed to sleep for 5 hours in one go one night! What I'm trying to say is there will be an end to it, just hang in there and maybe change when you can sleep when your husband is there to take baby. You can't manage on no sleep at all.

Co sleeper cot.
The absolute savour with dd 2 and the best baby related thing I spent money on.

Baby is so close to you but totally in their own space, I remember how utterly relaxed my body became after bf to sleep, very small minimal transfer into her space, and then wow.. Total safe relaxation!

Any murmurs on night, quickly settled with a pat... Before full on waking.. It was brilliant.

Why isn't the pram safe for sleeping in? Have you tried walking to sleep? My lo actually slept in their pram/carrycot a lot. Sometimes I carried it upstairs!!

If you can tolerate it, track what you're eating and the times, and track the babies symptoms. In our case, it was CMPA, egg allergy and a separate reflux: she was given a prescription for omprenazole and I cut allergens out of my diet. Think its worth the diary before cutting out major food groups and for us egg was much worse than dairy so if we'd just tried with dairy I would have decided it was unrelated.

To be honest, it all improved things but didn't fix it till she was 9 months and her stomach muscles strengthened from crawling. But it was cyclical. And I think we were particularly unlucky. But I know what you mean: there's a physical limit to how little sleep you need to function. DH took her for me from 7-12 except when she needed feeds so I snoozed beside them, this obviously didn't always work but he was often able to settle her for 90 minutes or so. On particularly bad nights he would take her at 6am. He always got a minimum 6 hours sleep but I could call on him outside that if needed. He would also bring me tea in a flask and ensure I got a hot shower in the morning most of the time.

I think you need childcare and DH support, I sometimes on bad days got grandparents to take her for a short walk so I could nap. This was obviously all pre-Covid. Its v hard, but people kept telling me no sleep was normal, and while I think bad sleep is v normal there is a level which isn't and there's usually a root cause. It took us to 4 months to get my daughters issues identified and it wasn't a magic bullet but it absolutely helped.

Oh gosh, I feel your pain. My middle one was lime this. It is so so hard.

As others have suggested, it could be reflux.

You know what, if you can afford to do so, just get some help. Childcare is allowed and it sounds like you really need it. A few mornings a week to enable you to get enough sleep to function.

Yes, we all know to expect sleep disruption etc but it reaches a point where you can't function any longer! I reached the point where I didn't trust myself to drive or cross a road safely as I was a sodding mess.

Ooh and have a look 3the wonder weeks app. My Los changes followed this closely.

Your husband needs to help, even if it's only for a few hours at night after dinner, or whenever is best to fit in with work.

Shift sleeping is the only way, you'll go crazy if you take each and every night shift.

We did it where I would sleep between 8pm and midnight and he would sleep from midnight to 6am. Not ideal but it helped me stay sane with a non sleeper.

Also highly recommended childcare if you can afford it.

You poor thing
Yes, shift sleeping, day childcare if you can afford it, night nanny if you are rich, rope a family member into your bubble. Does DH have time off over Xmas?