Secret santa. Talk me down please.

[NoYouBloodyArent]

Secret santa at work soon. I'm totally up for it, but scared that someone will give me a gift designed to make fun of me in a not nice way (there's fun and there's fun).. Like deodorant or a facial hair trimmer or a diet book.. Something like that thats meant to be faintly humiliating, that everyone will have a secret laugh at. My workmates are all lovely, they really truly are, but honestly I'm still a bit scared. Tell me I'm being stupid please.

People don't do that. They really don't.

You’re being daft. We’ve just done secret Santa at work and everyone’s really pleased with their gifts. People are on the whole, kind. So don’t worry.

They won't do that.

This sounds like something I'd think when I'm struggling with anxiety. How are you doing at the moment OP? Did you have a past experience that's making you think this? Not trying to diagnose you over the internet but it's a rough time of year.

Though to be fair at an Xmas do many years ago, one guys secret Santa was a borat style mankini. Luckily he was the type of guy who thought such things were funny. Unfortunately he also thought putting on said mankini and rocking it on the dance floor was funny. I’m scarred for life I think but I’m fairly certain that won’t happen to you.

If your workmates are nice (or even just sort of regular people) they will not do something so dickish.

I have anxious thoughts about stuff like this sometimes. I find it helps me to have a plan for the absolutely worst situation possible. So, imagining the work colleague who bought for you happens to be secretly an utter walker and tries to buy a mean gift to hurt your feelings, then everyone else will be as horrified as you are. You will not be forced to laugh it off. You can say what a hurtful and unkind present it is. The nice people will support you.

What’s triggered this fear? Is it based around the idea of an unkind gift or the public opening of gifts?

You could keep your gift unopened and say something like - with COVID, I won’t have so much to open on Christmas Day so I’m keeping this as a treat for then.

Secret Santa is usually a shit, token gift. If you’re close to your colleagues it might be something funny. You’re definitely over thinking it. It’s supposed to be a bit of fun.

You're more likely to get something boring and generic.

Most likely you’ll have to fake a ‘Oh thank you so much I LOVE candles!’

Generic and boring I can cope with. It's irrational, I know.

You’ll get a Baylis and Harding gift set or a mini
gin gift set like the rest of us !

We did ours today. I wasn't anxious about what I would get ( mini Gin set ! ) but more that the person I bought for wouldn't like their gift.

Agree you’ll probably get a boring gift set.

I remember someone getting offended one year as they got a Body Shop set with anti cellulite cream in it, she was an overweight girl and quite sensitive and I genuinely think the sender just thought it was a nice set.

I got mine today. I got a scratch card, a Xmas decoration, chocolates and a mini wine gift set. Can’t the chocolates as I’m vegan but ho hum.

I really don't think you will receive anything humiliating, maybe something a bit rubbish though. I don't do it now as I always put a lot of effort in getting something I knew suited the person and they would like, and I received shite in return e.g a pair of granny bhs pyjamas (the shop has been shut for years at this point) 3 sizes too big for me and another year a a cheap bottle of red wine which they knew I didn't drink and was way below the agreed budget).

Hmmm. I know of one person (the boss) who bought the office loudmouth a megaphone. The recipient laughed but was privately absolutely gutted because although they knew they were loud, they hated being shown up in front of everyone like that.
What a cow that boss was - but that's an insult to cows.

This is my fear. Something like above.

How will the opening take place? Could you have a peek to see what’s in it before the official opening?

And to those that say it doesn’t happen, I had a hideously embarrassing secret Santa present one year, think sexy underwear type thing. Thankfully I took it home and opened it there because I was on holiday rather than the traditional opening in the office. It still makes me want to die of embarrassment when I think about it. It took me years and a team I trust to take part again!

Also if it is terrible, Chuck it in the bin and wrap yourself up a bottle of wine instead! No one would say anything!

A bit late, you should have suggested not doing it this year and a donation to charity instead. Perhaps suggest that next year.

They won't - only a tiny percentage of people would do that.

I hate secret santa so much.

If it’s a facial hair trimmer you’ll just have to laugh and take it on the chin

Seriously I can’t believe the trivial stuff people seem to worry about these days

If it’s a facial hair trimmer you’ll just have to laugh and take it on the chin grin. Boom boom!

I had a 'joke' gift designed to embarrass from a colleague i didnt get on with. Luckily for me everyone else looked suprised/confused and she was the only 1 laughing. Made others view her more as i did

Don't open it in the office. Tell them (looking sad) that you won't have many presents to open on Christmas day, so you're saving it to open then.

In the unlikely event it's a piss-taking gift, no one will see you open it and everyone will have forgotten about Secret Santa by the time you see them again.

They won't do this if they are generally nice. Did you go to a school where there was a lot of bullying and it's scarred you a bit?