Secret santa. Talk me down please.

[NoYouBloodyArent]

Secret santa at work soon. I'm totally up for it, but scared that someone will give me a gift designed to make fun of me in a not nice way (there's fun and there's fun).. Like deodorant or a facial hair trimmer or a diet book.. Something like that thats meant to be faintly humiliating, that everyone will have a secret laugh at. My workmates are all lovely, they really truly are, but honestly I'm still a bit scared. Tell me I'm being stupid please.

Turn it around -

If they actually did something like this, which I highly doubt they would, then it would reflect extremely poorly on them, not you! If I witnessed something like that during an office gift exchange I would think the person who did it was a complete an utter wanker. I wouldn't find it at all funny and wouldn't judge the person who received the nasty gift. I think most normal people would be the same.

Nice - 'oh that's lovely thanks santa'
Rude - 'oh that's lovely thanks santa'
Odd. - 'oh that's lovely thanks Santa'
Job done

Don't over think it or you'll definitely be offended, even if that wasn't the intention. In my first job I hadn't been there long and I bought my boss one of those giant wine glasses that fit a whole bottle's worth in. I didn't realise she was an alcoholic and had only recently got her driving licence back!

@StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff

Also if it is terrible, Chuck it in the bin and wrap yourself up a bottle of wine instead! No one would say anything!

How would that work? Apart from the logistics theeprson who bought the gift would know that they didnt buy a bottle of wine?

I'm totally confused

Lotsmofeople at my work save their gift and open it on Christmas Day.
Why don't you just do that, unless you can tell what it is from outside the wrapping.

I've never seen people be mean like that though, I think you're worrying too much!

*lots of people

I have felt like this before OP and I did a suggestion from above- I said " I'm putting mine under the tree" and then opened it alone- and it was a lovely toiletries set

I stopped participating in Secret Santa years ago. I feel much better for it.

Mainly because I would spend a lot of time and thought on my contribution and I would invariably get something shit

Same for family gifts.

@CodenameVillanelle

People don't do that. They really don't.

Many years ago when I was waitressing one of my colleagues was given a comedy 'saggy boobs' bra with cups that stretched down to your knees from secret Santa. She laughed it off but later in the night her eyes looked red like she'd had a little cry in the toilets. I felt bloody awful for her, you'd be surprised what dicks people can be under the cover of anonymity.

My secret santa was 100% perfect. Incredibly thoughtful and completely me.

But, for the person who said just to take it on the chin if it's a facial hair trimmer, yes indeed, unless you actually have bad facial hair and are pretty ashamed of it, and dont want anyone publicly calling attention to it. This is the thing, what's over sensitive to you might be really humiliating to someone else. So you really shouldn't.

You're not being stupid. There are some AMAs on other threads with HR people that say that secret santas are a thing that loom large in employee complaints and disputes.

However - most people will play it safe for their own sake, especially if they don't know you well. Managers should, in the main, play it very safe. Others will go for a naff and novelty thing which may be disappointing but hopefully not dickish.

@PleasantVille the idea being that they are banking on their embarrassing gift being anonymous so are unlikely to announce ‘hang on, I bought you a totally hilarious beard trimmer, not a nice bottle of wine!’