Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

If a child has a “fear” of apples would it be cured if he was made to touch one every day (using bribery as the method)

53 replies

Ninbus · 17/12/2020 10:48

My child hates apples. Particularly cut ones where you can see the juice. He is 8. He won’t go anywhere near someone eating one. He refuses to eat something if it’s chopped with the same knife etc. This has gone on for many years. Although I have a feeling that at school he must put up with people eating apples near him at break time etc. But at home he makes a big drama out of it. We take the ignoring it approach as much as possible. We still eat apples. They sit in the fruit bowl which he walks past. but we do meet his requests not to sit next to him on the sofa for instance if we are eating apples.
Interestingly he will drink apple juice - and likes it.
Anyway. I was wondering about telling him if he touches an apple or perhaps eats a small part every day he can have a bit of chocolate after. I am thinking after a few weeks he would be over it. Does anyone think this is a good idea ??

OP posts:
PompomDahlia · 17/12/2020 14:16

I also have a phobia of apples - it comes partly from seeing the maggoty windfall apples in the garden as a child and hating the look of browned apples. It’s probably easier to try and deal with it at his age than let it develop

Original poster
Ninbus · 17/12/2020 14:27

Thank you. Appreciating the advice. I think he may have tried some not so nice apples in the past. The ones from the supermarket can be so variable in quality. I need to make sure I get the yummiest kind possible

OP posts:
Gilead · 17/12/2020 14:46

I think you’re treading on dangerous grounds and have seen and had to deal with the outcomes from people trying this sort of thing. Please talk to CAHMS. Without doing so I suspect you may end up with a transfer issue.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General food
SquishSquashSqueeze · 18/12/2020 02:21

@Ninbus

Thank you. Appreciating the advice. I think he may have tried some not so nice apples in the past. The ones from the supermarket can be so variable in quality. I need to make sure I get the yummiest kind possible
It will be more than this. The very definition of a phobia is that it's an irrational fear. You need to tread very carefully.
WankPuffins · 18/12/2020 03:46

My SIL was/is the same with bananas. She had a panic attack once in a supermarket when it was busy and she was forced to stand too close to a display.

She's even had hypnotherapy over the years. It sounds funny but she really finds them distressing.

Dh used to chase her around the house with them when they were kids. Last time we went to stay, he put one in her bed. He's almost 40 Hmm

Jobsharenightmare · 18/12/2020 05:39

Exposure therapy can make things worse if you don't know what you're doing. For instance, someone I know tried to desensitise her 4 year old child to balloons and didn't follow the basic principles (fair enough she wasn't a child psychologist) and still the child age 10 will not go to anyone birthday party in case there are balloons.

Look up desensitisation and graded exposure first. Make sure you know and have taught how to regulate breathing and emotions and get this going for less feared situations first. Food based rewards for a food based phobia can be a problem too.

FuckOffBorisYouTwat · 18/12/2020 06:23

Another shout out for hypnotherapy. Effective and long lasting.

Catsup · 18/12/2020 06:42

DB is sponge phobic (he's now 47 - it's clearly not going away!?). For some people it's just a general growing out of/common exposure too issue? Unfortunately for others it's just an involuntary natural response they'll never move past... Hence when I 'jokingly' lobbed a sponge over a shower curtain at DB when he was in his early 20's, he had a panic attack, slipped and broke his ankle 😳...

Dowermouse · 18/12/2020 06:50

Dysphonia? My H can't stand me eating apples near him. He doesn't have an is with any other noises.

maddenlightfoot · 18/12/2020 06:51

One of my dds has an apple phobia 😳, she's only just 4 and we've assumed that it's just a huge fuss as 'who can possibly be afraid of apples?' right? But now I know there's another apple-phobe out there, maybe it's genuine?!!
She actually dislikes a lot of fruit and only likes raspberries, blackberries, mango and all dried fruit. I've been looking into fruit aversion rather than phobia but she's exactly as you describe your ds above - hates being near apples, people eating apples and has to be carried over the windfall apples in the garden in autumn.

inquietant · 18/12/2020 07:00

@SquishSquashSqueeze

Please don't try and cure a phobia without doing a lot of research first. Exposure therapy works, and it works well if carried out correctly. Do some good research about how and when to gradually increase the exposure, how to get him to rate his anxiety on a scale. If done incorrectly, you'll do more harm than good.

This sounds like a genuine phobia. He's not doing it for the attention Hmm

This. You might make the problem worse. I feel a bit sad you're not getting proper help tbh.
inquietant · 18/12/2020 07:03

Dh used to chase her around the house with them when they were kids. Last time we went to stay, he put one in her bed. He's almost 40

I absolutely hate adult bullies who do things like this. I don't think I could stay married to someone like that.

BabyGirlNumber2 · 18/12/2020 07:07

There is no need for him to be able to eat apples or bananas. Especially if he has a varied and healthy diet already. It is fine for him to have a couple of things he doesn’t eat, everyone does, so the end goal of this should not be about getting him to eat something that he is currently phobic of.

Instead the goal should be that the phobia doesn’t impact on his life. He can still be not keen on them - just like I’m not keen on the sight of uncooked chicken breasts shudder - but it should not dominate his life. To be honest, if it doesn’t already dominate his life and he is a generally happy boy then I’m not sure it’s even worth trying to “fix” things as like pp say, you could actually make it worse.

If you do go ahead then you need to have a specific end goal in mind (not eating one!).

weepingwillow22 · 18/12/2020 07:18

If he likes apple juice does he like apple sauce? I am wondering if you could gradually build him up to apples through a smooth sauce, sauce with more lumps in it etc. How is he with cooked apples or apples in puddings? Can you pair them with something he really likes in cooking amd gradually build up his tolerance.

PrincessBuggerPants · 18/12/2020 07:28

I feel this way ablut bananas and don't feel like its something I have to get over tbh.

WankPuffins · 18/12/2020 07:44

@inquietant

Dh used to chase her around the house with them when they were kids. Last time we went to stay, he put one in her bed. He's almost 40

I absolutely hate adult bullies who do things like this. I don't think I could stay married to someone like that.

I made him go home. He was pissed one night and thought it was hilarious. We had a lovely couple of days without him.
MawkishHawk · 18/12/2020 08:05

I have a phobia which developed in childhood and transferred/expanded to related objects as I got older and it wasn’t until in depth psychotherapy as an adult for that & more widespread MH issues that I worked out how it developed and what the root cause was, a traumatic incident as a very young child when my parents tried to force/trick me into eating something I didn’t like. They probably don’t even remember the incident I bet, but its significantly affected my life unfortunately. Graded exposure therapy/desensitisation was aimed at reducing impact on my life, so I don’t panic when unexpectedly faced with things in public etc, I still won’t eat/use the things or have them in my home, why would I, I don’t need to.

Please don’t tackle it by yourself, you could make it a lot worse. I suspect my parents were trying to help me. Get professional guidance and support, you might have to pay privately.

ElementalIllusion · 18/12/2020 08:11

It’s entirely depends why he has to felt this phobia.
I definitely would not force him to eat it, but teaching him to touch it and accept bring near them is good.

When I was quite young around four I suddenly, seemingly overnight, developed an intense hatred of bananas, my mum said it wasn’t that I just decided I didn’t like them, it was like I suddenly had an visceral hatred of them,
I would react to the sight or smell of them.
Even banana flavoured things repulsed me and I couldn’t be near anyone eating them.

I think everyone thought I was just being a drama queen and I was scolded for acting silly around them but allowed not to eat them.

A few years later in my early teens I had a smoothie with banana in it, it wasn’t listed in the ingredients so I didn’t know, within only a few minutes of having a couple of sips I started vomiting and itching.

It turns out I’m actually allergic to bananas.
So the intense hatred was most likely my body’s way of telling me to avoid them.

I’m not saying your son is allergic to apples, but sometimes it’s not just psychological.

He should definitely learn to tolerate being near them though.

Bloodybridget · 18/12/2020 08:13

People who think OP is going to get help from CAMHS for a child with an apple phobia, dream on!

CircleofWillis · 18/12/2020 08:17

It may work better to get help with sensitivities to different textures, tastes, presentations of food rather than concentrating on the one food item.

Gilead · 18/12/2020 13:13

People who think OP is going to get help from CAMHS for a child with an apple phobia, dream on!
It’s a phobia, they will help.

Original poster
Ninbus · 18/12/2020 15:22

Thanks for all the responses. It all makes very interesting reading. I am now wondering about maybe leaving well alone for a while as it’s not that big an issue for him that it interferes with his life too much. He will actually eat apple crumble - but scrapes the crumble off and just eats that. So it is just raw apples.

Maddenlightfoot that’s interesting, ds is the same - won’t eat much fruit at all other than raspberries and strawberries. He never liked them when weaning either so I know he doesn’t like the taste. But he does like veg. He will happily eat a raw carrot.

OP posts:
maddenlightfoot · 18/12/2020 17:50

Yes Ninbus! Dd is similar... she actually likes all green veg - even cabbage! Carrots are a no unfortunately 😕
However, I'm convincing myself she'll have great teeth as she eats minimal fruit (whilst not thinking about all the Christmas chocolate and sweets!)
I'm feeling very reassured that she's not the only one and very interesting that pp was allergic to bananas after a childhood aversion

Original poster
Ninbus · 18/12/2020 18:22

Yes. It’s annoying for me cos there are so few fruits he will eat. I feel like people will judge like I have done something wrong and I feel like I need to point out to people that he is happy to eats his greens! Also his brother likes fruit. It just shows how different they can all be

OP posts:
Bloodybridget · 18/12/2020 21:29

Really @Gilead? I keep reading on MN about parents trying in vain to get help from CAMHS for DCs with very serious MH issues.