If you are a SAHM to kids under 5, what does your day look like?

[ForestNymph]

I feel stupid asking this. I have 3 under 5, and I feel like I have exhausted all my options/games/normal strategies. The last week we've done nothing, I am bored the kids are bored. I don't understand how anyone gets anything done once they're past the baby stage. How am I supposed to do the washing or cook, what am I supposed to do to entertain them? I used to take all 3 out all the time but since the pandemic I've really struggled and I now feel like I am out of ideas.

I desperately need some structure, and wondered if anyone could share how they manage a similar situation to see if it would help. Thank you x

Do any go to school or nursery?

On days I don’t work I aim to do something I think the morning, like a playground, lunch they nap and I run aorund like a loon getting stuff sorted and then we try and go out again for an hour or 2 in the afternoon, home, cook, eat about 45 min of TV, bath if needed then bed, then drink wine!

@OverTheRainbow88

Do any go to school or nursery?

On days I don’t work I aim to do something I think the morning, like a playground, lunch they nap and I run aorund like a loon getting stuff sorted and then we try and go out again for an hour or 2 in the afternoon, home, cook, eat about 45 min of TV, bath if needed then bed, then drink wine!

The 5 year old does, the toddlers don't. Mine don't nap very well and they don't sleep at night (we get about 3 hours sleep before the screaming every hour starts) so I feel I have no time to do anything at all. What time do you put yours to bed?

I was a much better mother to one child than a group, I feel really out of my depth this time around.

I’ve got a non sleeper, it’s bloody hard work. He’s probably slept well 5 times in 3 years! But luckily he does have a nap!

Mine go to bed between 7-7.30; sometimes it can be a major battle with youngest though and can take an hour or so!!

Yes the days are dark, with nowhere to go, we are tier 3, but I think some kind of plan helps the day go faster.

Are they too young to entertain/play together?

What tier are you in? Are kids indoor places open?

Its exhausting isn't it. My younger two are terrible sleepers. I usually go for 6.30 to 7, I've been wondering if its too early but my reasoning is as they don't nap they should sleep a bit earlier. It also takes about an hour sometimes.

We are tier 3 unfortunately. Nothing is open. Nothing to do. Its shit. And the toddlers are going through a screaming phase.

Yes I agree, I want to come up with some sort of plan to make it run a little smoother. Currently its chaos and I've had enough.

What age are the youngest and what happens when they wake at night?
3under 5 will be v hard to be housekeeping productive, throw in no sleep and you can forget it!!

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

What age are the youngest and what happens when they wake at night? 3under 5 will be v hard to be housekeeping productive, throw in no sleep and you can forget it!!

Two year olds (twins). They do a blood curdling scream and if we try to leave them, they wake the other twin. They ask for bottles, sometimes they drink them sometimes they don't. We've tried removing the bottles and they do things like the waking twin will pull the sleeping twins hair or scream in their face and then we get a huge fight in the middle of the night.

Ideally they'd be in cots but they can climb out so we've had to put them in beds.

The nights are awful. Its affecting my husbands job because he's so exhausted from the sleep, my eldest child keeps asking me to make them stop shouting because its waking him up and I feel like I've had newborns for the past two years.

We have pediatrics involved about it but they keep giving me daft advice about bedtime routines, as if I haven't already tried all of that hundreds of times.

I was a much better mother to one child than a group, I feel really out of my depth this time around.

Sorry I don't have any advice, I have a primary aged kid. But this statement made me sad. I'm sure you're amazing mother wether it's to one or a group. You just need to adjust to the change and find your groove. You'll get there! 😊

Is there any way you could afford for them to go to nursery 2 mornings a week?

I would wake up, get ready, breakfast, school run, straight from there to a local playground, home, lunch. My youngest hates waiting so I often have a lunchbox made ready the night before so when we get home, wash hands and can eat straight away. Chill out time in front of tv whilst you wash up lunch etc... mine then nap... wake up, snack, we go out again for another couple of hours. Also in tier 3 so has to be outside, I try and meet a friend with their kids somewhere, we try and choose a playground with a cafe! Home, tea, watch tv whisky I tidy up, bath, bed repeat.

Mine are very outdoorsy so if your aren’t you could stay in for the morning or afternoon ‘session’ and do some painting or creative stuff that I hate so go out!!

Night time is hard, I cosleep but not sure that would work with twins!

Have you tried a gentle sleep training?

@OverTheRainbow88

Is there any way you could afford for them to go to nursery 2 mornings a week?

I would wake up, get ready, breakfast, school run, straight from there to a local playground, home, lunch. My youngest hates waiting so I often have a lunchbox made ready the night before so when we get home, wash hands and can eat straight away. Chill out time in front of tv whilst you wash up lunch etc... mine then nap... wake up, snack, we go out again for another couple of hours. Also in tier 3 so has to be outside, I try and meet a friend with their kids somewhere, we try and choose a playground with a cafe! Home, tea, watch tv whisky I tidy up, bath, bed repeat.

Mine are very outdoorsy so if your aren’t you could stay in for the morning or afternoon ‘session’ and do some painting or creative stuff that I hate so go out!!

Night time is hard, I cosleep but not sure that would work with twins!

Have you tried a gentle sleep training?

Unfortunately not, I wish I could. Its too expensive sadly.

Thank you, this helps. Mine are quite outdoorsy too, I used to take them to national trusts and let them run around the gardens a lot but several are still not open near us and the ones that are you have to book, and I'm anxious booking things in case we get delayed due to poop explosions or tantrums or any other delightful toddler stuff.

Is that where you go in, shhh them and then leave, and repeat? We did that but all that happens is they get angry and wake each other. Ideally I would have them in separate rooms but we only have 3 bedrooms and eldest child needs his own room because he has special needs and cant stand the noise of the kids screaming

There are online sleep clinics you could try. You would have to pay but the consultants are really good. I think it would be well worth it. Unfortunately I don’t think things will improve until you are all getting enough sleep so I’d throw everything at this.

So you have the 2 year olds at home all day and do the school run with 5 year old?
If such bad sleepers I would get waterproofs on do school run and park for a good while- playground or just collect leaves/sticks/ races etc. Home for lunch and play. Then big walk around school pick up time again. At home do they play? Dance with music on? Paint? Etc

@Todayisgood2

So you have the 2 year olds at home all day and do the school run with 5 year old? If such bad sleepers I would get waterproofs on do school run and park for a good while- playground or just collect leaves/sticks/ races etc. Home for lunch and play. Then big walk around school pick up time again. At home do they play? Dance with music on? Paint? Etc

Makes no difference. At least twice per week sometimes 3, we go to a park/field/wooded area with a picnic and stay there almost all day.

They have toys but they aren't interested. Just want to climb on everything. They run around the garden a lot with a football.

Easier said than done but I would focus on getting their nighttime sleep sorted and then everything will feel better. I feel like I can’t give much advice on this as I cosleep purely because I gave up trying to get mine to sleep in his bed.

Currently going for a drive with them (not me driving obviously lol) because they will not sleep. Twin 2 has done their favourite trick of throwing the mattress off the bed and ripping all the bedding off. Hoping the car journey will at least send one of them off.

I've never known kids sleep as terribly as these two. They are honestly awful for sleep.

Some children are just horrible night time sleepers op. Do you cosleep at all or can you sleep in their rooms for a bit? It is a phase I have been assured will pass. Hang in there! (I only have one and find it hard so you deserve a medal!)

If I were you OP I’d break the rules and meet another Parent inside for Play dates, continue the walks, and engage in a shit load if CBeebies in between- you have so much on your plate, to me it’s a matter of survival!

Can your 5 year old sleep in your room And separate the twins?

@Lelophants

Some children are just horrible night time sleepers op. Do you cosleep at all or can you sleep in their rooms for a bit? It is a phase I have been assured will pass. Hang in there! (I only have one and find it hard so you deserve a medal!)

I usually lie on their bed for an hour and my husband does the same with the other twin and then afterwards I have to put eldest dc to bed, which takes a while as he has additional needs and gets very frightened.

@OverTheRainbow88

Can your 5 year old sleep in your room And separate the twins?

I could try this actually, he climbs in with me in the middle of the night most nights anyway

Until November I had 4 under 5. It’s been a tough year and monotonous. I can empathise with the non sleepers as I have had two good ones, one bad and another terrible one. Life is hard on a lack of sleep. Sleep training didn’t work for us, but co-sleeping, routine and them growing out of it eventually. I will say that my 20 month old is a poor sleeper at the moment and it saps my patience.

Our day starts with school run after breakfast, we are able to walk. Two dropped off at school then the 3 year old and toddler walk back ( albeit slowly). Weather dependent we go to the few local parks. When home I often do some sort of simple activity like scooping and pouring oats into cups or jugs on a tuff tray, move the oats with diggers or set up some simple farm play on it. My eldest loves Duplo so we often build stuff for toddler to knock over with cars. Stickers, play hide and seek, build sofa dens, a few stories, nursery rhymes or I stick them in the bath as we can’t go swimming with jugs and their bath pipes. If youngest goes for a brief nap I will give sibling some attention. We then walk or bike for school run. The National Trust properties near me all have 30 minute windows when you book ( I think) as I struggle to be anywhere on time. We did have fortnightly soft play sessions which we a life saver but there gone again as we are tier 3.

We are quite outdoorsy, have two dogs, go for daily walks, cycle, etc but I am struggling this winter with not being able to do anything unless it’s outdoors. It’s filthy and foggy and frankly shite.

I don’t have a lot of advice, just here for a handhold. I have a 4 year old and 3 year old twins and one twin with special needs so v similar to your situation. It’s really tough. The twins started nursery in September and it has made the world of difference. When do yours get the three year old funding? Hopefully not too long away!

@OverTheRainbow88

Can your 5 year old sleep in your room And separate the twins?

I was going to suggest this. Just temporarily. If it doesn't work move him back by a deadline so he knows what to expect.

@EcoCustard

Until November I had 4 under 5. It’s been a tough year and monotonous. I can empathise with the non sleepers as I have had two good ones, one bad and another terrible one. Life is hard on a lack of sleep. Sleep training didn’t work for us, but co-sleeping, routine and them growing out of it eventually. I will say that my 20 month old is a poor sleeper at the moment and it saps my patience. Our day starts with school run after breakfast, we are able to walk. Two dropped off at school then the 3 year old and toddler walk back ( albeit slowly). Weather dependent we go to the few local parks. When home I often do some sort of simple activity like scooping and pouring oats into cups or jugs on a tuff tray, move the oats with diggers or set up some simple farm play on it. My eldest loves Duplo so we often build stuff for toddler to knock over with cars. Stickers, play hide and seek, build sofa dens, a few stories, nursery rhymes or I stick them in the bath as we can’t go swimming with jugs and their bath pipes. If youngest goes for a brief nap I will give sibling some attention. We then walk or bike for school run. The National Trust properties near me all have 30 minute windows when you book ( I think) as I struggle to be anywhere on time. We did have fortnightly soft play sessions which we a life saver but there gone again as we are tier 3. We are quite outdoorsy, have two dogs, go for daily walks, cycle, etc but I am struggling this winter with not being able to do anything unless it’s outdoors. It’s filthy and foggy and frankly shite.

Your situation sounds quite similar to mine - we are outdoorsy but used to supplement with soft play, museums, occasional shopping trip made fun, etc. Now all that's gone and its honestly rubbish.

@DSsnmum

I don’t have a lot of advice, just here for a handhold. I have a 4 year old and 3 year old twins and one twin with special needs so v similar to your situation. It’s really tough. The twins started nursery in September and it has made the world of difference. When do yours get the three year old funding? Hopefully not too long away!

A year away 😩 theyre fairly "new" two year olds. I think they'd be great at nursery.

I’ve got three year old twins and a baby. None of them sleep very well and never have... bedtime is a circus and my house is a mess constantly. I’m stressed out and snappy a lot of the time which I hate and don’t feel I’m meeting anyone’s needs very well. We have good days and not so good days. No advice just a hug, it’s bloody hard work but will get easier one day and then we might even miss the chaos!