If you are a SAHM to kids under 5, what does your day look like?

[ForestNymph]

I feel stupid asking this. I have 3 under 5, and I feel like I have exhausted all my options/games/normal strategies. The last week we've done nothing, I am bored the kids are bored. I don't understand how anyone gets anything done once they're past the baby stage. How am I supposed to do the washing or cook, what am I supposed to do to entertain them? I used to take all 3 out all the time but since the pandemic I've really struggled and I now feel like I am out of ideas.

I desperately need some structure, and wondered if anyone could share how they manage a similar situation to see if it would help. Thank you x

@Bettyboop82

I’ve got three year old twins and a baby. None of them sleep very well and never have... bedtime is a circus and my house is a mess constantly. I’m stressed out and snappy a lot of the time which I hate and don’t feel I’m meeting anyone’s needs very well. We have good days and not so good days. No advice just a hug, it’s bloody hard work but will get easier one day and then we might even miss the chaos!

This is how I feel. I'm constantly just surviving, barely, and doing a shitty but somewhat ok job which isn't what I want - I want to be an engaged, active mum who takes pride in things and also has time for myself but atm I'm just...doing this. Hate hate hate hate it.

Bless you! It really is hard, I feel for you. Sometimes I take the divide and conquer approach with the twins in the day and do something like play doh or stickers with one whilst the other has some time on the ipad then swap them over. Doesnt always work but sometimes helps. And they are growing out of naps now but if they really need one or I really need some time out I just put them in the car and drive till they fall asleep after lunch then get a drive though coffee. Usually buys me half an hour quiet and keeps me slightly more sane for the rest of the afternoon!

Drop other kids at school, then usually go to the shops, go home, do my housework while he plays, watches TV or goes on ipad. Then I'll play with him, blocks or trains or whatever. Sometimes he'll have a nap. Then lunch, more tidying round and playing then school pick up. Before covid we would go to a few playgroups a week but they aren't on now.

@MrsHugsxx

Drop other kids at school, then usually go to the shops, go home, do my housework while he plays, watches TV or goes on ipad. Then I'll play with him, blocks or trains or whatever. Sometimes he'll have a nap. Then lunch, more tidying round and playing then school pick up. Before covid we would go to a few playgroups a week but they aren't on now.

Does yours play independently while you tidy up? Mine won't do that at all

Honestly op no advice right now as covid has made a difficult time even more shit. The only thing that has saved my sanity is paying for nursery for a my toddler a few mornings a week as we were going nuts with absolutely nothing to do every single day. But you said you can’t do that.

Maybe just a day at a time. Outside time daily. Quiet time (in their rooms or watching tv or taking a drive) daily and I hope bedtimes improve for you! I feel like a different person now my DD mostly sleeps all night after 2.5 years. And to be honest she wasn’t that terrible a sleeper, just one or 2 wake ups, but it still affected me.

He will sometimes, more when his brothers and sisters are home. To be honest he probably has too much screen time while I get things done

I've only got 1 at home (2 at school) and your sleep situation sounds awful, added to not being able to do 'normal' toddler things it's so hard.
Our day looks a bit like this: After the school run we have 15-30 minutes of TV, then playing, then a snack, then out for a walk, then more playing, then lunch, nap, snack, school run again. I rotate toys on a Monday. We do playdoh about once a week but nothing else 'messy' indoors. I take DC with me to do the washing (tumble dry everything I possibly can). I mainly batch cook at the weekend and don't attempt anything complicated in the week. We have my freezer meals or something easy like pasta/fish and chips on weekdays. My older children will play with the toddler while I bung stuff in the oven and serve up but their tolerance is fairly limited. Most tidying happens after DH finishes work and cleaning happens at the weekend.

I'm wondering as your twins aren't into toys whether they would enjoy pouring/sensory/practical life type activities. You could just set them up with a tray, small jug, other containers and a sponge either with water or lentils. My DC tries to eat everything at the moment but my older two enjoyed this kind of thing.

We tried something different last night and had a partial success. MIL says they sleep at her house whenever they've stayed and she thought it was because she has travel cots for them rather than beds. We borrowed one travel cot and put the most troublesome twin in that after she refused to sleep. And she slept much better, and didn't go bothering her brother. She is also the one who will wake up and tear the room apart, rip the covers off and flip the matresses because she's bored. She couldn't do that in the cot. As a result, my other twin seems more chilled out this morning because his sister hasn't been able to annoy him during the night. They woke at 8am which is amazing.

OP honestly those early years are tough, once in nursery and school you will have the energy to be a fun engaging mum and that's the years they'll remember. Mine are 4 and 6 now and its easier.

That’s great OP, I hope it continues x

Thank you, I feel less stressed simply because I didn't wake up to fighting kids and a bedroom that looks like a war zone. I know it sounds silly but I always dread getting up to that, having two relatively calm children and a reasonable looking room was a nice welcome change.

I think it’s the result of this year that you are finding it extra tough and I really feel for you. Try not to be hard on yourself and think that you can’t manage 3.
Mine are a bit older now but I did have 4 under 6 at one point and meeting up with other adults was the key so it’s so hard for you at the moment. It was also nice to break up some days with a playgroup or music group so that by the time you’d dropped the oldest at school, been to a group for most of the morning, had lunch and some tv/nap time in the afternoon it was time to do the school fun and then get ready for dinner and bed. Helps give the day some structure so I echo what a previous poster said and advise you to see if anyone locally is happy to do play dates so the twins have a change of scene and you get a bit of time with another adult. It’s so very important for a sahm not to become isolated.
Mine were also rubbish sleepers and I co-slept a lot. However, just occasionally I would take them on a pram walk after lunch and a busier morning and they would fall asleep. I would then leave them in the pram and relish however long they slept for to have a hot cup of tea and watch some rubbish tv and it did me the world of good. Maybe if you go for the walk at roughly the same time everyday they will eventually fall into a nap routine? But don’t stress about routines if they don’t fit one as that makes it worse. I had a vague outline of a routine but much to some people’s horror would happily leave mine to sleep at 4pm if that’s when they fell asleep as I was happy they were tired enough to sleep at that time and keeping them awake until bedtime whilst trying to deal with dinner and other kids makes everybody miserable. Hang in there.

Wow, that's great, everything is much easier if you and the children have had decent sleep.