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Original poster

Is this as dangerous as I think it is..?

83 replies

Whyohwhydididothat · 14/12/2020 19:45

My sil in law is due her first baby in early March and around a month ago bought a kitten.

The kitten is absolutely gorgeous and really loving! I have no problem at all with cats and have one myself. Sil is very attached to the cat and has it sleep in bed with her. In fact she won’t leave it in the house alone because it’s still settling in.

I mentioned that maybe it would be good to start having the cat sleep elsewhere because it’s going to be a big upheaval for the cat otherwise. A new baby and changing where she sleeps at the same time. Sil informed me that she wasn’t going to kick the cat out of her bed and it was going to sleep in the room with her and the baby.

This sounds insane to me! When mentioning my concerns I was told to butt out. Is this as dangerous as I think it is or am I being overly cautious?

OP posts:
OllyBJolly · 14/12/2020 22:03

My sister had two cats that liked to sleep with the baby. She woke up to find one cat on sleeping on his face and the baby in distress.

She was absolutely broken hearted but rehomed the cats.

WhatKatyDidNxt · 14/12/2020 22:12

Cat is definitely going to massacre the baby Shock. My fiancé’s parents had cats when he was a baby, toddler and child. He turned out fine and is stupidly healthy

Hylyma1234 · 14/12/2020 22:14

When my second baby was about 8 weeks old, we found our cat asleep at the bottom of his moses basket, we checked before closing the door but she must have been hiding somewhere.

Our cat currently lives in our 14 year old sons bedroom, she waits until he gets home from school and follows him up to his bedroom until the morning with food and toilet trips in between. They share an amazing bond!

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Babies & sleep Cats Children's sleep
MrsDThomas · 14/12/2020 22:21

A cat came into the house when my bro Was a baby. Mum found it sleeping on my brother. Its ingrained in me to dislike cats.

And sleeping in a bed with you 🤮

Crustmasiscoming · 14/12/2020 22:22

Definitely don't bring it up again. It's so irritating when you are pregnant or a new mum and your family and friends are rabbiting on about how you must do this and you must not do that. Most of what they tell you is a load of rubbish anyway, as is the case here with the cat.

Unless she tells you she's planning on doing something that is abusive or neglectful enough for you to involve social services, then just leave it alone.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 14/12/2020 22:23

@Pipandmum

I got a cat net for above the cot when my son was born. The cats never tried to get in, but did sleep on the bed in the same room. There were no issues at all.
Our cat (1 of 3 at the time) used the cat net as a hammock!

Until DD arrived anyway, then all the cats gave the screaming infant a wide birth until she was old enough to open a packet of Dreamies.

makingmiracles · 14/12/2020 22:25

It’s naive to think its not dangerous. Our cat was lovely, loved all the kids and when dd was born he would lie along side the changing mat whilst i was changing her etc, when she was about 3m old, she must have stirred slightly, i opened my eyes (bedside crib) and there was dcat sat on top of dds chest, we had to start locking him out of the bedroom which was difficult as he would scratch to come in for ages but i was paranoid he would suffocate dd. Every opportunity my back was turned, he’d be in that crib with her, he knew he wasn’t allowed as hed scarper as soon as i realised.

Crustmasiscoming · 14/12/2020 22:26

Until DD arrived anyway, then all the cats gave the screaming infant a wide birth until she was old enough to open a packet of Dreamies.

This made me laugh! My cat was thoroughly pissed off at the arrival of my first... until she eventually realised that DD was growing every day, and was gradually becoming able to serve her. Now she's quite happy with my little ones because she knows that they are little butlers in training, and she will soon have a whole team of humans to do her bidding.

Sunnydayhere · 14/12/2020 22:28

We used to find one of our cats stretched out alongside our then baby in her cot. They adored each other.

Cat long gone but the baby is now 34.

Probably not sensible if wives tales are to be believed but at the time she wasn’t a newborn.

Arthersleep · 14/12/2020 22:32

Of course it is dangerous. The risks are slim but the stakes are high. As is getting a kitten when pregnant. She does know not to change the cat litter herself doesn't she?

UsernameSpoosername · 14/12/2020 22:38

I had a cat net on the Moses basket too although the cat never tried getting in it until baby vacated then he was alll over it. Judging by this thread I was being completely
OTT 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oneearringlost · 14/12/2020 22:41

If you're thinking of Toxoplasmosis, I think you've got a point about a new born and a cat feeding and sleeping in the same space

MitziK · 14/12/2020 22:50

I was tested for toxoplasmosis during each pregnancy. Bearing in mind I grew up in filth, together with worm infested animals and had taken on rescue animals and wildlife for years afterwards, I was surprised to find out I had never been in contact with it.

As for the weekly 'cats murder babies' bollocks, meh. They don't. People needed to explain infant mortality and cot deaths and, like the older women living alone at the end of the village, cats copped the blame. Just like blaming the Fairies for a sickly child or the mother for miscarriages and stillbirths.

It's all based on misogyny.

Phrowzunn · 14/12/2020 22:50

“ She'll have a change of priorities when baby comes so I wouldn't worry... no sane parent will leave a potential 'wake up' threat in the bedroom with their sleeping baby 😉”

Exactly this!! Cats being a danger to babies is an old wives tale. They used to say that the cats would smell the milk on babies’ breath and suffocate them..?! Nonsense!
BUT our cats were swiftly turfed out of our bed when we had DD1 as they were indeed (as PP so brilliantly put it) a ‘wake-up hazard’

cdtaylornats · 14/12/2020 22:51

Funnily enough the cats smothering babies story started about the 17th century about the same time as witch trials.

Maddison12 · 14/12/2020 22:58

I just couldn't take the chance tbh, my cat wasn't really interested in baby, just wanted to have a little look. I wouldn't have allowed them both in the same room alone though.

My DM gave her cat away after it climbed in the basket with baby me.

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 14/12/2020 23:03

My cats took themselves off to another room as soon as baby started squawking. It wasn’t an issue at all.

MaryShelleysDracula · 14/12/2020 23:10

My DSis had cats, the first before DN1 who was fine with her from baby to toddler and then that cat died and she got 2 before DN2 was born. The cats were fine with DN1 who was 3 when they arrived and 5 when DN2 came along but they were terrible with DN2. Wee on the changing mat, tried to climb into the moses basket, wee'd on that, tried to climb into the cot with DN2, would clamber on her whenever she was on the floor/ bouncer and had to be shoo'd away constantly. DN1 had a constant snotty nose after the 2 cats came, my sis eventually had to rehome the cats as no amount of attention/ treats/ trying to keep them away stopped them bothering DN2 and her things. Her blankets, bedding, pram, car seat all had to be kept far out of cat reach or they'd be slept/ pee'd on by the cats, who were lovely with everyone else. After they were rehomed it turned out DN1 was allergic to them also. I had a dog and cat when my 1st was born and we watched like hawks, my own cat was a bit odd when 2nd came along but nothing as bad as that.

tinselfest · 14/12/2020 23:15

The only thing she needs to remember is to wear gloves when cleaning out the litter tray while she's pregnant.

turquoisebaby · 14/12/2020 23:17

I don't think its your place, You voiced your concerns move on. When you have a newborn and a cat you can make your own well informed decisions and listen to everyone else's opinions on your parenting.

LastTrainEast · 14/12/2020 23:19

Apparently it's happened (once at least) that a baby was suffocated by a cat.( I guess it hadn't read that it was meant to be and old wives tale. Cat literacy is at an all time low)

But it IS extremely rare. They do sometimes bite and scratch babies. but that's fair enough. No one is going to mind that are they.

copperoliver · 14/12/2020 23:23

It's fine. X

Serin · 14/12/2020 23:32

Our DS (18) still has scars on his face where our usually placid cat attacked him when he was a baby. No reason that we knew of. He was asleep in his rocker chair and the cat just flew at him with claws out.
Despite this we put up with him for another 10years. I dont know how cats get away with it.Blush

ILovesPeanuts · 14/12/2020 23:36

Yes there have been cases of cats smothering babies. A police officer friend did the initial visit to a house where the cat had (obviously unintentionally) smothered the baby. He (friend) was seriously shaken up. Whilst I am sure it's unusual, it does happen.

ILovesPeanuts · 14/12/2020 23:41

I really don't understand why so many are saying "it'll be fine". A quick google will bring up a number of stories. I love cats and have 3, but they were kept out of the same room as our sleeping babies when very young. No cat was scarred by the experience.