Help! If you have been pregnant over 40 come and talk to me

[Veryoldandpreggers]

Good morning

I’ve just this morning found out I’m pregnant at 43. I’m stunned. I feel so old and achy a lot of the time and can’t imagine getting through this easily. We had one child when I was 27 and one at 30. Then I got the coil which has been safely in place ever since. My husband is 49.

If you had a baby in your 40s what was the pregnancy like? And if you don’t mind sharing exactly how old you and your partner were.

Many thanks

I was 41 and DH 48. I had a high risk pregnancy due to a unicornuate uterus and had shared care and consultant led care.

I was fit and healthy and in spite of the risks had a very easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, low blood pressure, no other issues. DD was born at 38.5 weeks weighing 5lb 11 oz.

43 and currently 32 weeks pregnant. It's been fine, I just get tired more easily!

Hi,
I found out I was pregnant at 45, had him at 46, now 47, he is 10 months old.
Depends on so many things, I have 2 girls, 11 and 9, they have been really helpful, we are both self employed, so I was back to work a week after having him. You need to be really organised. I knew the first 3 months would be hard, then to 6 months, then easier. I breastfed till 9 months. He goes to childminder twice a week, since 7 months. He slept through from 7 months. Main thing is getting enough sleep and rest. He is a joy, and has changed are lives for the better.

First 2 months of pregnancy were hard, sickness, no worse then my first. Last month, walking around, very hard work.

Take it, they are a gift, enjoy.

Husband was 52,

I was just 40 with my third, with a 6 and 17 year old.

Pregnancy was terrible but it always is for me, I was floored and in bed for 8 months at 22.

It was my third section and the worst recovery. First three weeks I thought I would die every time I moved. But that could happen at any age.

She's 3 months now and it's no different to the others. I'm not fit either, I'm quite fat now. But I'm no more tired than I was.

My Dh is younger than me though, he's 35.

I had ds at 43.2.Dh was 32!!
Easy peasy pregnancy tbh.ots of extra appointments - age and I am rhesus negative.. No problems. Unfortunately had to have an emcs at 35 weeks. Consultant stressed it was unlucky they found a blood clot and not associated with age.. Recovered very well very quickly.. Drove after 2 weeks and no complications. Ds is now a wonderful 6 yo.

Pregnant at 41, dh 2 years younger. It wasn't harder than my first pregnancy at 36 apart from sicknessfor 16 weeks I didn't have with first. Birth and recovery easier.

Had ds @41.
Ds is now 8.
No other kids so nothing to compare it to.
Have much more patience than when I was younger, but not half as much energy.
It's much more physically demanding than I'd even thought about . I'm menopausal also, which doesn't help.
However, like others have said, organisation helps a lot.
Pregnancy / birth on par with other Mums I've spoken to, all at various ages from 20's to 40's...

I was 41. DH was 45 or 46.

Pregnancy was fine apart from my bad SPD and sciatica which wasn't age related, just how I roll in pregnancy.

I was low risk and attended a midwives clinic throughout. Didnt even see a consultant!

Birth was fine too.

First 2 years were bloody hard but that wasn't just because of the baby, it was a combo of having a non-sleeper and other life elements. But my age wasn't a problem. In other words being younger wouldn't have made any difference.

DC is now 4 and absolutely HILARIOUS. I feel very lucky to have such ridiculous fun at this age. We are currently knee deep in Santa Claus and it's amazing.

I also think it's keeping me young? Some of my friends are at a very different stage mentally with teenagers and college aged kids and stuff and sometimes seem more jaded or something. That's going to happen to me too but not until I'm hitting 60 and I'm not sad about that.

41 (me) and 49. Pregnancy and birth a breeze. She is now 4. We’re all good as long as I can half a half hour lie down after lunch.

Had my baby at 43. Pregnancy was absolutely fine - I genuinely used to forget he was in there were a lot of the time - and the birth was also pretty straightforward. I had a few extra scans and was induced slightly early for reasons that were partly (but not exclusively) associated with age.

He's now 8mo and I do feel somewhat as though I've been put through a mangle - but that's at least partly because he refuses to go in his cot, so I have to cosleep all night with him; and he refuses to go in his buggy, so I have to cart him around in a sling everywhere (I don't have a car) and because I'm single (and there's a pandemic on) I never really get to hand him over to someone else so I can go of and do any exercise. Were he a slightly more obliging baby, and were we not in the middle of a global crisis, I think I'd be able to straighten out the kinks a bit more easily!

Best of luck to you.

I was 41, DH 47. It was definitely harder going than previous pregnancy at 37.

More bleeding and ended up with pre eclampsia at 34 weeks. Had borderline GD with both.
But we got there in the end, didn't feel it was any harder post birth.

This is all really reassuring.

I cannot imagine telling my 15 and 13 year olds. It’s going to be such a massive shock to them and a horror as it confirms that we have sex! They do love babies though and I know they will be incredibly helpful and hands on big sisters.

I’m not unfit. I swim 40 lengths 3x a week and walk a lot. But I do have chronic back problems including disc surgery and residual sciatica which is a big worry. Carrying a bag for 10 mins can send my back into spasm let alone a baby for 9 months.

Deep breaths. I’m not unexcited. I adore babies. It’s just a huge shock.

I had my youngest at 42, she is 11 weeks old. Pregnancy was fine and no real difference than when I had ds age 31. It was a shock discovering that I was pregnant in my 40s and I was worried about it, but I love having a baby again. Much more patient and her siblings have been great with her. Enjoy

Start doing pregnancy yoga now.

And when booking in, get referred for Physio. I had free physio sessions because of my issues.

I'm not saying they solved anything, because tbh the only thing that solved it was giving birth! But it was reassuring to be in the physio system at least. I did have to go off work quite early (but I'm a nurse so on my feet all day, possibly not if a desk job) and wasn't walking about much in the last month at all as it was too sore.

The good news is that literally the day after I gave birth all of my issues vanished and I haven't had any sciatica or joint pain since.

I was 43 with a 20, 16 and 13 year old. Working full time and studying for a degree. I was fit and healthy, pregnancy was easier than previous. I had extra appointments (because of my age!) Birth was easy and I honestly enjoyed it so much more. Good luck!

#3 at 40 and #4 at 42. I was a bit more tired, but #1 and #2 were still toddlers, and I was working full time, so not a great surprise. I had gestational diabetes with #4. Generally all fine, though. Having SPD with #2 when I was 38 was more problematic, but I didn't have that with the last two.

Had mine at 42. I did have a dreadful pregnancy but that wasn’t age related (and, to be fair, I probably dealt with it better than I would have done when I was younger). But once she was born I bounced back to being fit and healthy. She’s nine now and much fun!

My labour was pretty short for a first baby - just 6 hours from my waters going with a pop until DD was born.

Sorry if this annoys anyone, but I also didn't have any strecthmarks, and pinged back into shape pretty much straight away. DD was my only baby. And six weeks later my body didn't even feel it had given birth.

I had DD2 at 44 (h was 40), by elective Cs. I developed preeclampsia right toward the end so the moved the CS date up by a week. Then I had to go back In after she was born to have treatment for it. I was also diagnosed with 2 autoimmune conditions after, I suspect triggered by the pregnancy, I get very fatigued and have to nap a couple of times a week.

I was 43, he's my first. It's all been fine, pregnancy was fine, midwife all the way.
Giving birth was horrific, but I hear that's the norm.
He's 3 now and we feel incredibly lucky to have him, he's sort of dreadful/wonderful and has carried us through a dreadful year.
I'm always knackered and I hate playing with small figures on the floor but I'm so going to miss this time when it's gone.

Congratulations!
What brilliant news, I wish you lots of luck

I had dc2 six weeks shy of 41 (dh is 3 months younger than me). I also had a just turned 3 year old. It was fine. Morning sickness til 19 weeks but that was it. I was active, studying and volunteering in the food bank until the day before labour started. It was another emcs but not age related (dh's lot all of giant heads and I have a suboptimal pelvis so they get so far but no further). I bounced back really fast, no pain killers post theatre and out for lunch when she was 2 days old. Back in my jeans at 6 weeks.

Congratulations!

I was 39 and not going to lie my last one really took it out of me. This really is the time to invest in lots of good face creams and skin supplements

I was 40, dh 43. The birth was very easy, third baby. All done in two hours. It's my life now that is not great. DH is 46, midlife crisis and wasn't very happy about our surprise. Kids are 2,5 and 7. We have no freedom. He kicked one of them the other day and I don't really know what to do.

@Tootletum - who kicked who?! What?