Parents don't shower often.

[pateandcheese]

Is this a generational thing?
My parents in their late 60's only shower once a week.
I wouldn't say they ever smell or look scruffy, but I find it odd.
I've obviously not lived at home in 15+ years so never really noticed before, but before lockdown we went away as a family for a week and they both showered once in that time.
Me, my DH and small kids shower or bath every day without fail.
They're both retired so it's not as if they're massively busy.
They're very house proud and everything is fresh and ironed and tidy.
I just don't get the showering thing.
But thinking about it when I lived at home I'd only shower a few times a week in my teens too. It's only since moving out I shower every day.

My dad is mid 70s he showers everyday. I shower most days sometimes just have a wash.
Also l work in a care home residents have a bath or a shower once a week. There is no time to shower 70 people everyday.

Comparing to the 70/80s is hardly a fair comparison, many homes didn’t have central heating until the 80s, so no constant supply of hot water as we do now and sadly still many families alive with fuel poverty 😕 Never judge anyone especially kids you think are scruffy or unwashed.

*live with

@thedevilinablackdress - I was a child in the 60s & 70s and that wasn't my experience. I had a bath every day until we got a shower.

What I can't cope with is flannels hanging over the sink or even worse folded up wet in a square and left on the sink generally by older people who have a daily strip wash. OMG it makes me feel physically sick when I think about the festering bacteria on the folded up flannel and my god it would stink too.

I often have a daily strip wash. Flannel goes straight in the laundry bin for a hot wash- every time.

If they don't smell then I don't see why it matters. I don't shower everyday, usually every 2 days, sometimes every other depending on what I've been up to, I'm not a sweaty person, I don't feel like I need a shower every day. Plus I get really dry skin so probably best I don't.

@luckylavender - I didn't mean to say that my experience was everyone's, but I think it was more common than now. I didn't live in a house with a shower until I was about 20 and couldn't afford the hot water for baths every day before that.

My mum is the same, she 'wipes all over' apparently. Mental note not to use the flannels in her house...

I grew up in the 70s & 80s and we always had a bath every day, without fail. Clean underwear every day and clean bedding every week. Many of my friends didn't, and I was aware that they, and their homes, had a peculiar odour.

DH was brought up only having a bath once a week. When we got together I had to re-educate him, and ever since he has showered every day. Both our teens have had a bath/shower every day since the day they were born! MIL still only baths once a week, but then spends an inordinate amount of time messing about with flannels, soap and a wash basin of warm water just get in the shower FFS

MIL never smells dreadful, but she never smells pleasant either. At best, I would describe her smell as stale. Her house also smells stale.

My Mother had dementia, although she died before it became really bad. She still knew us and could chat about movies etc. One of the biggest problems was getting her to bathe. She would even tell lies about having bathed. She did smell. We had to bribe/push her. I learned that people with dementia can become afraid of bathing, and afraid of water.

It was a challenge for her and us. Dementia is horrible.

I am in my 20s and don’t shower every day because if I did my skin would look like sandpaper although I do shower more than once a week. When I was a child in the 90s/2000s it was a bath once a week and I was fine then too.

If they’re not getting sweaty and they don’t smell or have any other problems from not bathing more then I don’t think it’s an issue.

I shower daily but I think 2 to 3 times weekly with pits and bits in between is fine, without that then I think you'd smell whether you'd realise it or not

I grew up in the 70s & 80s and we always had a bath every day, without fail. Clean underwear every day and clean bedding every week. Many of my friends didn't, and I was aware that they, and their homes, had a peculiar odour.

I don't think not breathing/showering every day necessarily means you don't do the other things you mention! As I've said, we didn't bathe every day, but we did have clean clothes and bedding. I too remember houses where there was neglect, but mine was not one of those and I feel fortunate for that.

bathing! Not 'breathing' !!

"When we got together I had to re-educate him,"

How strange.

Once adults leave their parents, do they really just carry on the same bathing/washing routine?

I mean if I feel that I need a shower every morning & have access to a shower-I'm not going to not use it because that's not what I grew up with!

My mother is in her 60s and washes every day... i think it’s a bit gritty

I had a bath every evening as a child as did my parents. My DS was bathed each evening. I shower each morning or evening as does he. I dont think it's a generational thing

Even in 2020, with central heating, I don't have hot water on demand. In the winter I do, because the heat is on. For most of the summer, I don't have hot water unless I plan for it in advance.

The thing is, older people do actually smell less, its a hormonal thing.
So don't be judgemental. Old people don't need to wash as much.

Just remembered something funny over a flannel. My late nan had dementia and kept saying she wanted to go to Spain “one last time” so my auntie ( her dd ) and me booked it and went for 5 days.

All was going ok and one night my nan went to the bathroom to brush her teeth etc and then my auntie went in and when she came out she said that she had just washed her face with her flannel and wondered if nan had washed her face with it too as it was a bit damp.

My nan replied “no love i only used it to wash my undercarriage” we couldn’t stop laughing and it will always be remembered as flannelgate

@wellthatsunusual

Even in 2020, with central heating, I don't have hot water on demand. In the winter I do, because the heat is on. For most of the summer, I don't have hot water unless I plan for it in advance.

Interesting. I have hot water 'on demand' but still need to run the shower for a bit before I'd get into it.

@wellthatsunusual

Even in 2020, with central heating, I don't have hot water on demand. In the winter I do, because the heat is on. For most of the summer, I don't have hot water unless I plan for it in advance.

Our hot water is on a timer so we do have hot water all the time. If three of us want a morning shower I will boost the water for another hour to make sure we don't run out (we have a hot water tank).

@BIWI

It was very rare in the 50s and 60s to have a shower in the home. It became a new 'trend' and was considered very posh and very much the in thing to have one fitted - starting in the late 60s/early 70s I think. Up until then, if you wanted to wash hair either you did it over the sink or you used one of those hand held rubber jobs that fitted on to the taps.

Nowadays, of course, you'd be amazed if you went to buy a new flat/house and it didn't have a shower, as they're just expected as a 'norm'.

The other thing to remember was that back in the 50s/60s, it was also not always the norm to have central heating, so having a bath could be a pretty joyless experience, especially in the winter, so you certainly wouldn't be bathing daily.

It was an American import

And even when we had them they weren't power showers. so not always that effective, depending on where they were positioned in relation to the hot water tank.

@deste

I am 70 as is DH, brother and SIL are older, we have friends all around that age and I can assure you we all shower every day so it’s not a generation thing. I’d call it laziness, I know you say they don’t smell but really, they must, I’m sure you get used to your parents smell.

That is exactly what I thought.

@Zoflorabore

Just remembered something funny over a flannel. My late nan had dementia and kept saying she wanted to go to Spain “one last time” so my auntie ( her dd ) and me booked it and went for 5 days.

All was going ok and one night my nan went to the bathroom to brush her teeth etc and then my auntie went in and when she came out she said that she had just washed her face with her flannel and wondered if nan had washed her face with it too as it was a bit damp.

My nan replied “no love i only used it to wash my undercarriage” we couldn’t stop laughing and it will always be remembered as flannelgate

🤣