Parents don't shower often.

[pateandcheese]

Is this a generational thing?
My parents in their late 60's only shower once a week.
I wouldn't say they ever smell or look scruffy, but I find it odd.
I've obviously not lived at home in 15+ years so never really noticed before, but before lockdown we went away as a family for a week and they both showered once in that time.
Me, my DH and small kids shower or bath every day without fail.
They're both retired so it's not as if they're massively busy.
They're very house proud and everything is fresh and ironed and tidy.
I just don't get the showering thing.
But thinking about it when I lived at home I'd only shower a few times a week in my teens too. It's only since moving out I shower every day.

I think a shower is cleaner than a sink wash. I did them occasionally when younger in the 70’s but never felt clean.

And just having had surgery and can only sponge clean l feel rank. And I’ve felt that way the 3 times I’ve had surgery. Yuk.

Why have a strip wash when you can get in a shower or bath. A shower takes the same amount of time.

"A shower takes the same amount of time."

It doesn't though. At least not for me so that's a reason to have a sink wash for me. Anyone with dry or even normal skin should be using body lotion after a shower, not so after a sink wash, bathroom doesn't get steamy, etc.

Why not after a sink wash? It’s soap that’s the drying agent. That’s why l get given creams to wash in due to eczema. Derm says avoid soap but not water.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Why not after a sink wash? It’s soap that’s the drying agent. That’s why l get given creams to wash in due to eczema. Derm says avoid soap but not water.

No the water is drying to some extent as well. My dermatologist said so. When I have a sink wash I don't wash all over and I think even if you do, you're not standing in water for a while, just passing a wet hand or flannel over your body. It's not the same thing. A bath is even worse for dry skin of course.

Ladies 'bring it on' lots of sprays good quality French perfume. Smells much more pleasant than any 'natural' body!

They will not have stinky sweat as their hormones will be dying down a bit. Perhaps nights of wild passion do not occur - as much or at all.

I do not shower every day - I am saving the planet!

I'm a child of the 1960s and we had bath once a week with the whole family using in the same water, one after another, in age order (youngest first). It's revolting looking back on it but I think it was pretty normal then.

Once we got hot water on tap and central heating it was daily showers. My Mum is in her 90s and showers daily.

Lavenderfieldsofprovence
You said...
"There’s no excuse for anyone in this day and age to not shower every day. As for the twice a week people, that’s disgusting and unhygienic."

I must disagree.

Firstly many, many people cannot afford to use hot water to that extent.
If you are on a card meter you are charged far more than if you pay by DD.
If your income is limited you have to carefully consider how far your gas and electricity will stretch, especially in the winter. If you are in shared accommodation or a hostel it maybe be difficult to access washing facilities or find someone to look after your children while you bathe or shower.

OP
Is this enough of an 'excuse' for you?

Or if, like me, you would be ripping your skin apart if you showered or bathed every day. I have eczema and psoriasis, both of which are exacerbated by too frequent washing. I cannot use any scented bath or shower products and have spent so much time researching what is the best thing for my sensitive, often inflamed and sensitive skin. I used to love a bubble bath with a G&T, a good book, music playing softly. Now all my showers are short and utilitarian, the luxury of a long soak a distant memory. I am up at this ridiculous hour because my skin is inflamed as I react to a new, supposedly safe, laundry product.

OP
Is this enough of an 'excuse' for you?

I wash myself thoroughly in all the appropriate places on a daily basis as do all the other people I know well who for various reasons cannot shower or bathe daily.

I work with people who live in difficult circumstances and the only ones with poor hygiene are those with severe and debilitating health problems, either or both mental or physical. None of them choose rationally not to bathe, this is forced upon them by circumstance.often it is the expense of accessing laundry facilities that cause them most problems.

No one one has mentioned the environmental impact at all these constant showers. I am too tired to go into the arguments but everyone knows them.

On this day and age there is no excuse for anyone who doesn't do an extremely physical job, or who doesn't exercise every day, or who doesn't have a medical condition that affects their sweat and smell to bathe and shower constantly, they can stay clean and hygienic without.

Actually I understand why people bathe and shower, it's lovely to do so.
But please don't adopt a cleanliness is next to Godliness or the highest of virtues approach!!

Jees they aren't that old! I'm in my 50s and shower daily. Perhaps they have got into a rut!

As a child (born in 1990) we had the Sunday night bath and a sink wash on mornings before getting dressed. Then hands and face before bed.
When puberty hit we had daily showers.
My hair doesn't do well with daily washing as it does frizzy, I do the curly girl method and proper wash it every 3 days and refresh in between. I use the shower for this. On other days I have a bath or flannel the necessities if rushing. Always in morning when waking up and before bed too. Fresh undies before bed too.
Ds (2) screams like a bashee around water so has a quick dunk with me and hairwashed only when needed.

Dh gets filthy in his manufacturing job so gets a shower at work after each shift. As a child in the 80s he stayed with the Sunday night bath and daily strip wash until he got his own place.

Not sure what my parents do but in laws routine is to have a bath and all new fresh clothes on a Sunday afternoon prior to going to the working mens club for the evening. The rest of the week they strip wash and have fresh undies and only change other clothes when required. Mil has a haircut and wash every Wednesday. The landlord put them a shower in about 10 years but they only use to rinse down the bath after use. The rest if time the bath is used as pan storage (bathroom next door to kitchen)

I thought it was generational but as in, people who would now be over 100 maybe didn't shower of bath daily. Everyone I know in their 70s or 80s ( and know well enough to know their habits!) does. I mentioned to my DM who is in that age group that a newspaper reported 20% of people surveyed had given up showering daily over kockdown, she was appalled!

Lockdown obvs!

What a very odd thing to be appalled about!

@IamEarthymama

Lavenderfieldsofprovence You said... "There’s no excuse for anyone in this day and age to not shower every day. As for the twice a week people, that’s disgusting and unhygienic."

I must disagree.

Firstly many, many people cannot afford to use hot water to that extent.
If you are on a card meter you are charged far more than if you pay by DD.
If your income is limited you have to carefully consider how far your gas and electricity will stretch, especially in the winter. If you are in shared accommodation or a hostel it maybe be difficult to access washing facilities or find someone to look after your children while you bathe or shower.

OP
Is this enough of an 'excuse' for you?

Or if, like me, you would be ripping your skin apart if you showered or bathed every day. I have eczema and psoriasis, both of which are exacerbated by too frequent washing. I cannot use any scented bath or shower products and have spent so much time researching what is the best thing for my sensitive, often inflamed and sensitive skin. I used to love a bubble bath with a G&T, a good book, music playing softly. Now all my showers are short and utilitarian, the luxury of a long soak a distant memory. I am up at this ridiculous hour because my skin is inflamed as I react to a new, supposedly safe, laundry product.

OP
Is this enough of an 'excuse' for you?

I wash myself thoroughly in all the appropriate places on a daily basis as do all the other people I know well who for various reasons cannot shower or bathe daily.

I work with people who live in difficult circumstances and the only ones with poor hygiene are those with severe and debilitating health problems, either or both mental or physical. None of them choose rationally not to bathe, this is forced upon them by circumstance.often it is the expense of accessing laundry facilities that cause them most problems.

No one one has mentioned the environmental impact at all these constant showers. I am too tired to go into the arguments but everyone knows them.

On this day and age there is no excuse for anyone who doesn't do an extremely physical job, or who doesn't exercise every day, or who doesn't have a medical condition that affects their sweat and smell to bathe and shower constantly, they can stay clean and hygienic without.

Actually I understand why people bathe and shower, it's lovely to do so.
But please don't adopt a cleanliness is next to Godliness or the highest of virtues approach!!

Very good points - OP

I think we often take abundant hot water for granted.

Just read the towels thread

Having said that I do like my morning showers and often get in DHs bath in evening after him as he tends to shower and bath.

I do get sweaty if I'm working, not so much at home

My DM was complaining about my DF, 81, a few months ago that he only showers once a week and only changes his pants twice a week. From that conversation I expect my DM washes herself and changes her knickers daily. I remember my exH's grandmother telling me when you get to 80 you only need a bath once a week. Perhaps it's the law for the over 80's

Older people's skin is thinner and more delicate so this is probably true.

I wonder if the posters saying that people should shower every day sweat a lot and have no inflammatory skin conditions?

DH doesn't sweat and has a very rare skin condition that is also very dry and that predisposes him to cancer. His consultant has told him not to shower/bath every day. He has to cover himself with emollients twice a day.

On the other hand, I like to shower every day to feel fresh, even though I am not particularly sweaty.

@LST

What a very odd thing to be appalled about!

Unless there is a medical reason it is rather shocking in this day and age.

@jesstan1 no. No it really really isn't. Get a grip.

[quote LST]@jesstan1 no. No it really really isn't. Get a grip.[/quote]
I agree with LST. You really do need to be less OTT about this.

DH doesn't smell. He is very clean and doesn't sweat. Even without his skin condition he doesn't need to shower every day.

@LST

What a very odd thing to be appalled about!

Maybe the word appalled was a bit of an exaggeration! I just mean that she sounded a bit startled by it and said she would never be comfortable with that. She grew up attending a boarding school where you were allowed a weekly bath with a limited number of inches depth of water, so she is potentially of a generation that might be used to that, but has totally got used to more modern/western ways. I just was trying to say that many older people are set in their daily shower/bath expectations too, not just younger ones.

Good for you Mischance -very brave to 'speak up'

I grew up in the 80s and we bathed daily as children. Adults showered or bathed once or twice per day and that's what I've always done as an adult too. I barely sweat unless exercising, even in hot weather, but would feel grotty if I didn't wash all over properly. I've travelled on public transport enough to know how grim it is when someone next to you in an enclosed space hasn't washed.

The references to washing facilities being less available in the past, while true, are not very relevant to what we choose to do now that they are! In the 1600s most people didn't wash for months but that doesn't mean that would be a nice thing to do now...

As for the generational thing, I don't buy it. My older family members grew up in circumstances where they had outside toilets and no heating and proper baths were a once per week thing, yes. But ever since they have had proper indoor plumbing they have showered daily (parents now late 70s/ early 80s and retired but still washing!!).

I think its generational. My FIL lives with us, mid 70s, and he doesn't shower/wash often, maybe once a week if that.
A nasty smell follows him around, if he notices it he doesn't care. Unfortunately thats the least of our problems.

Generational and perhaps also related to how easy or rather difficult it is for them.

Generational - I'm late 40's parents are mid 70's and when I was growing up Bath night was Sunday night! I even see on mn nostalgia threads and certain Facebook pages for "80's kids" this being referenced. It was partly cultural I think but also related to economy as heating water was bloody expensive then!

Ease of doing so - at their age they may be finding they're less steady on their feet, more nervous about the possibility of a slip and fall, have trouble negotiating whatever set up they have (is it a shower over bath by chance?), find they lack the energy or motivation every day or find it painful or uncomfortable in some way

If it's a purely practical issue (eg bath over shower, lack of handrails etc) and they are happy for you to help them out to organise and/or pay for adjustments then that's something you could do to perhaps make it easier for them ?

As someone who has worked in elderly care whether a resident is bathed daily is very much dependent on the resident and their circumstances. If they aren't having a bath or shower that day they will usually receive a proper bed bath/wash though - in a good home less good homes some of them they'll be lucky to get once a fortnight!

Also older people barring medical factors tend not to sweat as much as say under 60's and their skin can tend to be on the dry and thin side which washing daily is actually not good for.

All sorts of reasons why people have the washing habits they do.

It is NOT generational. I grew up in the early 70’s did my was 16 in 1980.

I had a bath every night. Even in the 1960’s.😬