Things that irrationally annoy you in films?

[Soubriquet]

I’ll start

Brand new baby born...size of a 3 month old, wide awake and smiling

Always annoys me

Car chases etc that beat the absolute crap out of the car, and it still starts and drives away! When I first passed my test I bumped my car at about 10mph and the thing had to be written off!

Actor rides away on horse, and 30 seconds later appears riding an entirely different horse, which neighs, naturally, without moving its face. Bonus points if the horses are supposed to be excited and not standing still, but it’s clearly been too risky to put novice actor on a horse like that so you can see them kicking like mad and shouting “woah!” at the same time.

Farms which have miraculously made straw bales off grass fields.

And one film I saw in which the Roman army marched through Britain on a track with two perfectly even wheel ruts clearly made by a Land Rover.

I’m a lot of fun to watch films with...

This time of year for Santa. Parents do not believe in Santa and Santa then comes and leaves presents for kids. Parents look on smiling as kids open it. Do they never think where the fuck did that bike come from???

I know there is Reddit saying one parent thinks the other parent got it. Sorry but in my family I would bloody be asking DH, I wouldn't just assume!

In the james bond films, I've noticed that the older the actor gets, the younger the co-stars seem to be. It is so sleazy and creepy.
That female characters who are meant to be of a certain age are usually played by younger actresses.
Like on tena lady ads where the 'mature' lady is usually only about 40.
And so on and so on.

Oh, and when someone is wearing glasses you just know they're going to trip over and their glasses will go flying, leaving them crawling around patting the ground, helplessly wailing "My glasses...". I've worn glasses for twenty years and am a very clumsy bugger. My glasses have never fallen off my face when I've tripped over!

@CaptainCallisto

Oh, and when someone is wearing glasses you just know they're going to trip over and their glasses will go flying, leaving them crawling around patting the ground, helplessly wailing "My glasses...". I've worn glasses for twenty years and am a very clumsy bugger. My glasses have never fallen off my face when I've tripped over!

And even when they have fallen off, im not so blind i have to tap the floor to find them!!

Also when the 2 leads meet and hate each other, you know they will end up as soulmates

When every time a knife is wielded, thrusted, stabbed, moved slightly through the air and it makes that metal-on-metal ching! sound.

If you tune in to the sound effects of any fight scene with all the punch noises etc. its quite comical. (Though DH and I mused that the absence of this might be a big factor in what makes low budget films seem crap sometimes, we're so used to everything sounding dramatically punchy).

When the hero gets shot by a bad guy and left for dead it always turns out they were shot in the shoulder and are back at work a couple of days later. The shoulder is a pretty major joint and would require months of rehab and physio, not a cloth sling.

Forestgreen and LordDenning1 absolutely, empty cups. That's just bad acting in my view. If the cup is empty surely a half-way decent actor should be able to hold it as if it has something in it. I think the same about luggage. Really annoying when they swing large cases around as if they weigh nothing.

When a man gets viciously beaten and he has a few neat cuts and maybe a bruise, rather than the weirdly deformed swollen face you get in real life if you injure your face.

He say a word while all this is going on, but the minute the antiseptic comes out and the woman goes to dab it on he winces.

Or intruder films,they hear a noise and investigate in the dark.
And then run to the basement or attic.Never the front door.

They are getting chased by a maniac they run and fall.All the bloody time.

War films: the soldiers never have the straps on their helmets done up. Annoys me.

The problem with the Christmas/winter filming looking all summery of course is that specials for TV shows are filmed over the summer -- there's no way round it. They do their best with filtering the light and CGI-ing out the leafy trees when they can (see 'Dr Who'), but I imagine it's expensive. The sensible solution is to have a Christmas special where they head off to the Algarve or Miami like 'One Foot in the Grave' and 'Only Fools and Horses' did.

When the kids look nothing like their parents. No resemblance whatsoever. It’s like, no the two of you did not produce this child!

Unrealistic travel times across cities.. Spooks was especially bad for this. One episode they apparently drove from MI5 HQ near Pimlico to East London in 10 mins..

Women going to bed in / waking up with full hair and makeup.

Not shutting curtains/blinds in bedroom at night.

Actors pretending to play instruments, especially string ones and obviously not playing. Not moving the bow at the right time. I hate this!

Andie MacDowell - she ruined 4 weddings & a funeral.

No one ever walks into walls, but that might just be me

Plots that involve crying babies. Baby crying and needs to stop because the Nazis/Zombies/Criminals will hear. Group stranded in the desert/jungle/disaster zone and baby crying on and on and on. Just filler for lazy scriptwriters. I have nothing against babies but the sound makes me tense. STFU with the wailing babies in films!

That weird chin thing. Male character looks into female's eyes and wants to tell her something. He takes hold of her chin between his thumb and index finger as if to steady her head.

It's such an odd thing to do. Have never known anyone to do it IRL.

@wellingtonsandwaffles

Women “waking up” in the morning with a full face of make up!

I also spend a time thinking? “What have they done with their children?!”

Also, women going to bed wearing a full face of make up. Typical scene where she's sitting up reading or something, face perfectly made up then turns out the light and snuggles down without getting up to take her make up off.

Unless you stagger to bed completely pissed, surely you take your make up off to avoid getting it all over the pillow, if nothing else.

Unrealistic travel times annoy me too
In Robin Hood prince of Thieves. Kevin Costner and Morgan freeman manage to get from Dover to Nottingham via Yorkshire in one day by foot
See also four weddings and a funeral - gadding around central London

And a kids programme where the characters walked from Edinburgh to Newcastle just to get to work - same programme also an impossibly young looking ‘granny Murray’

And even when they have fallen off, im not so blind i have to tap the floor to find them!! I am-if I don't know exactly where I've left them I'm stuck!

I’ve thought of another one
In Prometheus a character gives herself a c-section without any anaesthetic/ other medical treatments
Then hops off the bed zips up her skintight suit and runs off to help fight the baddies

Yeah right...

The Missing Handbag. I'm always shouting at the screen about it: WHERE IS YOUR BLOODY HANDBAG! And it's not like they have big pockets either.

When the action hero takes an unbelievable amount of head punches, kicks to his ribs and his head slammed into the wall. But, he can keep on fighting relentlessly until he wins. The Jason Bourne films are terrible for this. No human being could retain consciousness after having their head repeatedly slammed into a wall.