How to deal with comments from potential work bully

[Theworkwitch]

Hi, I've realised that I've found myself in a situation at work. A new colleague started and befriended me. Things have now come full circle and she is now sidelining me, making snide comments and stirring trouble between me and other colleagues. I think she used me to get established in her job and is now in some weird power struggle with me! It's completely bizarre and I have no time or tolerance for her mean-girl behaviour.

I'm no shrinking violet but her comments have me blind sided. I'm concerned that I'm going to completely explode at her.

I'm looking for some stock phrases to deal with her uncalled for comments. I'm also wondering if I should just have a chat with my boss.

I want to be cool, calm and dignified, but also stick up for myself without getting too heated. Do I just get up and walk away?

Please advise!

Yes, I'm a very smiley, happy person at work. Very polite and personable. I've often wondered if this type of personality is taken for weakness. Whereas I actually feel strong and that I don't need to have a side to me.

The fact that this woman is positioning herself as a queen bee is frankly laughable! But she definitely is. Thanks to this thread I'm going to feel sorry for her, which automatically strips her of any power over me. Fingers crossed for us all!!

Yes, nice = weakness. Also we don’t have to prove ourselves, which they feel they should have to, maybe.

Thanks to this thread I'm going to feel sorry for her, which automatically strips her of any power over me. Fingers crossed for us all!!. I think I’ll join you on that @Theworkwitch.

I might shriek with laughter when she does the “look at me, I’m helpful, me” crap. Yeah, you carry on, love. You carry right on . Cue pat on the back 😁

Good luck!!!!

Thank you for starting this thread @Theworkwitch.

I hope by starting it that you feel better about things, it certainly has for me.

It feels good getting it all out.

Solidarity

@Theworkwitch

Solidarity

Too right 🙂

Did you mean to be so rude ?

@huuuuunnnndderrricks

Did you mean to be so rude ?

Uhh don't use this. It’s not as clever as you think it is.

I just reached for my notepad and wrote down word for word what was said.

Eventually he asked what I was writing and told him that ”I've been advised to keep a record of what's said to me”

Well, MN did advise another poster...

He really was an arrogant, ignorant, misogynistic prick though.

His temp contract wasn't renewed. Every other temp was made permanent.

My favourite technique (only really works with british people) is just to not say anything back, no matter how uncomfortable the silence becomes hold out maintining eye contact and they usually shatter. Taken down a really really rude doctor and social worker with this technique.

Or keep telling her she has a really skinny head but say it like its a compliment so you cant get in trouble?