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Original poster

Pregnant at 41

37 replies

Oops41 · 02/12/2020 13:58

I have just found out that I'm pregnant! I'm 41!! I have 3 children and had no more plans for any more and to be honest am absolutely gobsmacked. I'd love to hear from people who have had a baby post 40. Or anyone that had a mother that was over 40 when they had them. Am I pushing it having a baby over 40? I know it is different for everyone but I suppose I'd love to hear positive experiences about it...

OP posts:
Liverbird77 · 02/12/2020 14:03

Well I had my son at 41 and my daughter in July, having just turned 43. Both healthy and utterly beautiful.
I'd like another but dh thinks we'd be pushing our luck!

Original poster
Oops41 · 02/12/2020 14:04

Thanks for replying @Liverbird77. How did you find pregnancy?

OP posts:
Tempusfudgeit · 02/12/2020 14:04

DS1 at 39
DS2 at 40
DD1 at 43
Thinking about a fourth ... Grin

Congratulations Flowers

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1st trimester Families General pregnancy
mygrandchildrenrock · 02/12/2020 14:07

My youngest two are 20 and 23 and I’m nearly 63. No regrets whatsoever.

Liverbird77 · 02/12/2020 14:08

Both pregnancies were fine: no gestational diabetes or any other concerns. I am not one of those women who loves being pregnant, but it was ok.
I forgot to say: we had an NIPT test done privately both times. It cost about £500 each time but was worth it to is for peace of mind.

Original poster
Oops41 · 02/12/2020 14:09

Thank you! I'm excited but its very, very early days and as not planned I really need to get my head around it.

OP posts:
Aquicknamechange2019 · 02/12/2020 14:09

I'm 43 and unexpectedly pregnant with DC4. I had DC3 a week before I turned 40.

All seems to be going well so far other than I'm a bit nervous about the size of my future laundry pile...

Original poster
Oops41 · 02/12/2020 14:11

@Liverbird77 yes I only found out yesterday but I have already been researching that and think we will do it if we can

@mygrandchildrenrock good to hear from someone with older children too and that you haven't regretted it. Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
Oops41 · 02/12/2020 14:13

Congrats @aquicknamechange2019 - yes my laundry is already never ending!

OP posts:
Heyahun · 02/12/2020 14:30

Tbh in my friendship group 40 is the age most people have had their first baby! They all met their partners a bit later on! They all had pretty straight forward pregnancy’s - but had scheduled c sections - they do say they find the parenting part exhausting though !

PaperMonster · 02/12/2020 14:43

Had my one and only at 42!

DaftAda · 02/12/2020 14:45

We had a baby not long after I turned 40 and I am about to birth another at 45. Straightforward, if slightly unpleasant, pregnancies (usual pregnancy woes of being sick and exhausted). Birth of DS was an easy home birth. Hoping for the same this time. We have older DCs too, so it’s chaos here. Very glad we completed our extension in 2019. The conversion of the back of the garage into a laundry area was a stroke of genius!

Smellybluecheese · 02/12/2020 14:46

Had my one and only at 41 - she's perfect. Reading some of these I wish we'd had another. It was a c section and when I was still on the operating table the surgeon said something about how I wouldn't need a c section for the next one so she obviously didn't think 41 was past it for having babies!

chocatoo · 02/12/2020 14:51

I had my only DD age 41. She is the best thing that happened to me. She's kept me young. I like to think I've been a good Mum and that she doesn't feel she's missed out in any way by having older parents.

I was lucky as there were quite a few older Mums at DD's school. Also I don't act like the old git that I am - I don't think a lot of people realised I was older.
Being older has meant that I did lots of things on my life bucket list before she was born so I am content to focus on her and just enjoying being a Mum. Also as I was older and therefore a bit further up the career ladder and few more savings, etc. financially we are better off and able to pay for things like cleaning lady to help me when I was tired. You will have a wonderful life together I'm sure. Enjoy!

Original poster
Oops41 · 02/12/2020 16:28

Thank you for the replies. It's really helped the news settle in and am starting to get more and more excited about it (and the same time as trying not to get excited about it as I can only be about 5/6 weeks).

OP posts:
Respectabitch · 02/12/2020 16:34

My mum had me at 42 and my sister at 45. We were both natural conceptions and straightforward, healthy pregnancies and births.

Tbh, I didn't find it ideal to have older parents but lots and lots of people do it and 40something isn't as old as it used to be in many ways. Good luck.

FairytaleOfWhat · 02/12/2020 16:37

My grandmother had two babies over 40 - she was 46 when the second was born. She said it was easier than it was in her 20s but it's different for everyone of course.

Wiaa · 02/12/2020 16:44

I had my first at 40 and my second at 43. I had no issues during either pregnancy I had to have regular scans due to my age but they were purely precautionary never any issues

Megan2018 · 02/12/2020 16:44

I had my DD (first baby) at 41, easy pregnancy and birth and no-one was the least interested in my age. My MW said more than 50% of her caseload was 40+

Over 40 group has the highest birth rate in some areas now.

sassafras123 · 02/12/2020 17:00

My Mum was 42 when she had me despite her doctor saying she was too old to have a third child. That was back in the sixties. Sometimes I felt awkward having an older mother but then Mum said I kept her young when she got to her sixties and beyond.

WankPuffins · 02/12/2020 17:06

Just had my third at 40.

Had my other two at 22 and 34.

Not going to lie, pregnancy was tough (but they aren't a walk in the park for me) and I had my third section - the recovery almost finished me off.

But I don't feel any more tired than I did with the other two three months in and I'm actually a lot calmer and chilled out now.

I do worry about being older though. My dad was 45 when I was born and now I'm having to look after him in old age when I should be enjoying my life and my own family. But. I am an only child with no other family left, so it's all down to me. And he's been a difficult sod since I was a teenager, so it's more him than his age.

TheVanguardSix · 02/12/2020 17:09

I had DC3 at 42. A beautiful boy, healthy, happy pregnancy which was easily as wonderful as my first pregnancy at 29. Congratulations, OP!

suziedoozy · 02/12/2020 17:10

I had my one and only at almost 42 and I didn’t have any issues at all despite having a random collection of previous health issues. Having a toddler is exhausting and I sometimes wonder how much easier it would have been a decade ago but I am genuinely not sure it would have been.

Moss are surprised at my age - they ask if we are going to have another because they presume I’m mid/ late 30s which is about the average age around here

notafanoftheman · 02/12/2020 17:28

I had my second at 41. Pregnancy was a breeze. Main drawback, which is a big one, is very elderly grandparents who won’t see them grow up.

YouDidWHATNow · 02/12/2020 18:22

How old are your other children OP? I ask because my friend had her 3rd at 42, and her youngest was 14. They have a lovely relationship and she helps out on school runs now she's 17 and adores her little sister. It's really sometimes a blessing!