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Original poster

Pregnant at 41

37 replies

Oops41 · 02/12/2020 13:58

I have just found out that I'm pregnant! I'm 41!! I have 3 children and had no more plans for any more and to be honest am absolutely gobsmacked. I'd love to hear from people who have had a baby post 40. Or anyone that had a mother that was over 40 when they had them. Am I pushing it having a baby over 40? I know it is different for everyone but I suppose I'd love to hear positive experiences about it...

OP posts:

AnnaSW1 · 02/12/2020 18:25

Where I live pretty much every one over 40 is having babies Young mums are the odd ones out.

110APiccadilly · 02/12/2020 18:32

My mum had my brother at 45. She had no particular issues with pregnancy, and the birth was a lot easier than the one I've just had (I'm in my early 30s).

Original poster

Oops41 · 02/12/2020 20:22

@YouDidWHATNow my oldest is 9 in January and youngest is 3 so not a massive age gap as such. 3 year old is exhausting but hoping will be easier over the coming months (as the other two were)

OP posts:

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Bumble03 · 02/12/2020 23:28

Congratulations that’s fantastic news! Don’t get so hung up on the age thing, enjoy it especially if it’s your last!! I had my first at 35 2nd at 37 and 3rd at 41 all planned. No problems in any.

Teapot13 · 03/12/2020 00:05

I had DD3 at 41. It was mostly the same as my other pregnancies (35 and 38) except I had high blood pressure after delivery. I felt this was my body saying I was pushing my luck and to stop!

Pacif1cDogwood · 03/12/2020 00:10

Congratulations!

I had DSs between aged 37 and 44 - all good pregnancies and deliveries.

I found I was more patient than I would have been when I was younger and did not feel less energetic.
Now that DS4 is 10 and I still have to support them all through their schooling/uni etc, NOW I feel tired....

I opted to have amino/CVS with all of my pregnancies as I carry a genetic abnormality and had several MCs before I had DS1. I would have terminated a pregnancy affected by my specific problem and while that would have been upsetting of course, I am quite certain that I could have made my peace with that decision. I was dreading to be told I was expecting a baby with Down Syndrome because I would have very much struggled to make a decision in that case. Even now, I often think about it and am really grateful that I was never in that situation.

V best of luck with your pregnancy, Ooops41.

redbuttons · 03/12/2020 10:19

Older perspective here. My younger brother was born when my Mother was 43, ditto my husband, his younger brother was born when his Mother was 47. It was not uncommon in the 40s and 50s, lack of knowledge about birth control resulted in pregnancies as long as a woman was fertile. Very few teenage pregnancies though, how the tide turns.

CockleburIck · 03/12/2020 11:01

Had DC5 at 41. Was no more difficult than DC1 at 23. Easier actually, as birth was quicker and I knew how to look after babies by then! She’s an amazing child, so no regrets whatsoever.

Congrats and good luck, OP

BurningBenches · 03/12/2020 11:12

I had my eldest at 21, 2nd at 30, 3rd at 31.

4th was born at 40, my pregnancy was the easiest of the 4. DS is a delightful 16m old chap.

Currently 41 and 12+5 with DC5.

kobo · 03/12/2020 16:01

redbuttons do you see the implication of what you have said? It's funny how in the 40's and 50's when having a teenage pregnancy would have been a scandal women were having babies in their late 40's . But yet we now know past 45 the chance of miscarriage is very high! I'm not saying it's the case in your family's but many mothers in their 40's claimed their teenage daughters babies as their own to keep them in the family, prevent a scandal and let their daughters still have opportunities.

Laiste · 03/12/2020 16:50

Fell naturally at 44 for DC no.4. She is now 6.

I had my older 3 before i was 29.

The pregnancy was more knackering than the ones in my 20s. The birth took it out of me for longer than the births in my 20s.

Apart from that - no different. I think i'm a bit more easy going than i was (but with 3 under 5 i had to be a lot more regimented than i am with one young one and her 3 much older adoring siblings :) )

You'll be fine OP :)

TreeRose · 03/06/2023 16:13

I know this thread is old but I just wanted to express my gratitude to everyone who commented. I'm 39 almost 40 and we are sort of ttc our first...sort of because OH thinks it'll just happen while I am FREAKING OUT that it'll be too late if we don't get pregnant immediately...as you can imagine, this has put enormous strain on our relationship and I'm in tears every month when AF arrives, or if we didn't dtd in my fertile window. Anyway, reading this thread is SO reassuring. It's SO hard to let go and let nature do it's thing, though...

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