Most irritating inanimate objects

[StealthPolarBear]

I nominate the little plastic collar that goes round the lid of shop-bought houmous. It has a perforated 'tag' so you can unzip it, but the tag only works part way down, and then breaks off. I then end up creating two or three circles of plastic and attacking it with scissors.

My fucking printer
Cling film
Really cheap tin foil as the decent one had sold out.
My kitchen light switch.
My fridge light.

Diabetic marmalade. After being used about twice the lid cements itself to the jar. I manage to get it off by putting an elastic band round the lid and twisting. Every single breakfast time! Ordinary marmalade doesn't do it. Also hate the "Your payment has been accepted" message.

@Tummelthecat we commented about Henry at the same time

The many, many remote controls. We have five. Yes, five. We have one TV and one PS3, so to my mind that means we have three surplus remote controls. Apparently, not. Apparently, they all do something. I have no idea what they do, and in what precise combination they do it in. I gave up even trying to successfully use them years ago. I had a major tantrum when DH threw away the one remote control I vaguely knew how to use it had a large red ON button in the top left corner and replaced it with something that looks like it fell off the fucking International Space Station.

Leaf blowers. Arg.

@NoSensei Great minds think alike about that hideous monster!

@JaneJeffer I have a saucepan with a metal handle on the top.

It's like trying to pick up Satan's trident every time I need to stir my bolognese

[quote iswhois]@JaneJeffer I have a saucepan with a metal handle on the top.

It's like trying to pick up Satan's trident every time I need to stir my bolognese[/quote]
Satan's trident 🤣👍🏽

I cannot be the only oe who hates door handles. The ones that you catch your sleeves in or bag handles. In fact I remember reading a poll and this one seems to really irritate women! I am not surprised!

You can almost certainly stop your washing machine and tumble dryer and dishwashers from beeping when they finish. Check the manual -it'll be something like turning the knob 3 to the right then holding a button down for 4 seconds.

Can't stop the edge of the gateleg table from ripping every single pair of trousers I own.

The film lids on ready meals; they're supposed to come off in one piece, but you end up with ribbons of plastic across the top.

I came on to say the multiple bloody remote controls, but I see that I am not alone! Peaceanddove, "something that fell off the International Space Station"- hahahahaaa, EXACTLY .

This week, Christmas lights.

Bloody wire coat hangers
Knots in necklace chains

The ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ has been replaced for me by the new phrase ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ as you respond to the request to put your empty bags onto the packing area. 🤬🤬🤬🤬

Cheese graters! Especially the tall pyramid-shaped ones.

@NoSensei

My Henry hoover and his smug face give me the rage.

@NoSensei

You do know you can take the face off?!!! Just a couple of clips...

@lmpeachment can you! Well I never. I think I might feel a bit mean peeling his face off though

My cat.
Though he only becomes an inanimate object when you want to go through the door he's sitting in.

But as soon as you try and step over he slowly moves so you enter rooms hopping

Just to add to the remote control list .... the b***d Virgin Tivo remote, which has a lovely curved back that means it has minimal contact with any surface on which it is placed and is therefore incredibly easy to knock onto the floor (at which point the back comes off, batteries come out, and you have four things to search for under different pieces of furniture).

@sueelleker

The film lids on ready meals; they're supposed to come off in one piece, but you end up with ribbons of plastic across the top.

I think they must have changed the plastic-even ones I've never had a problem with now shred.

Toilet seats. It has been my life's mission to find a toilet seat which will stay put. Something that still eludes me.

My dishwasher, doesnt have buttons you press but these sort if raised rectangles that you touch.

Well every single time I try to switch it on, it doesnt register. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME But, brush past it on my way to the utility room and bleep beep beep on it goes and decides to start a 4 hour wash!

So, I think I'll be smart and when I WANT a wash on I'll not piss about trying to get the button to work. I'll just purposefully brush past it, since that's what it likes. But nope, it wont work then either.

FFS, my cat set it off once jumping up on the work top!

Lighbulbs. The poxy small GUI ones with 2 tiny prongs that take forever to twist into place in my crappy lounge wall lights. And once they blow, are stuck in like they are superglued. Hurts fingers, break nails and still can't get the bastards back out again. Plus to add insult to injury they are dimmable ones and cost a bloody fortune.

Now sitting in semi darkness.

I hate the Use By dates stamped on everything from cans to clear fresh soup containers.

They are completely illegible. I know you can ado the sniff test on some things but for people like my mum with poor eye sight, there is no point having UB dates, which are a legal requirement, if they can't be read easily.

Ditto bottles / jars with plastic wrapped round the tops, impossible to remove for people with dexterity problems.

Printers. They hate humanity.