DS has no aspirations and wants to quit school...

[SleepingStandingUp]

He has no idea what he wants to do with his life and he wants to quit school as he's had enough.

I feel like if he had aspirations like other kids his age he'd better grasp why he needs to stay in school

The closest i can get to what he wants to do is "be a superhero". How do i get my 5 yo to like school again? And why doesn't he what a job?

@Heyahun

Omg I hated every single day of school 5-17 years old. My mum struggled to Make me to every day - there was a lot of tears - a lot of angry ! And I look back at the time and I shudder! I bloody hated school so much and have very few fond memories of it

I turned out fine though went to uni - - loved it there and I’ve worked decent jobs since

He’s 5 - why are you so worried

what did you hate? I really struggle to comprehend his upset (because he can't verbalise it very well) and i adored school. i was certain i was going to university from about 9 as it meant school for longer.

@Waxonwaxoff0

My 7 year old doesn't want a job. He says he'll just live with me.

maybe they can get a flat share

I don’t think it’s particularly helpful to stress the need for a job to a five-year-old. Or to even think he should be thinking of real jobs like truck driver, nurse,etc. You’re putting too much “real world” on him.

So i have spoken to school, and i see his SENCO tomorrow so will obv bring it up again. i've broke down some resistance by applying magic powder to his school uniform to make it a better colour until he realised that the buttons on the babys toy also made his uniform change colour so whoop he can now make his uniform the right colour himself.

he is told that he has to go because its the law, because Mrs Headteacher will tell me off if he doesn't, because everyone has to, because he has to have a job when he's big and so he needs to learn all these cool things. This morning i even reminded him he wouldn't know about Work Friends and Second Set Words if it wasn't for school :D

Wtf are you on about?

Hes 5.

FGS.

I'm 30 and I don't want a job either. I'm with him all the way.

Stop going on at him that he has to get a job!

I told mine that people work and school is work for children.

Number one rule is to never make it seem optional. Make it clear that he doesn't have to like it but he does have to go. If he says he hates it don't talk him out of it. Instead do the empathy thing like a friend was moaning about work. Do the thing where you make sympathetic noises but actually say very little. It is OK to say it is fine to hate school or work or the gym or brushing your teeth or turning down that second pastry but you still have to do it. Five year olds get along quite well with "life's not fair" and "not optional."

@LindaEllen

I'm 30 and I don't want a job either. I'm with him all the way.

He's recruiting if you fancy being a superhero

Yeah he's v aware it's not optional despite telling me today he was never going back (quote calmly 🙄🤣) . I try and remind him what nice things are coming up that day and ask for something nice that happened at school. The only time he's missed this term is hospital appts and school insisting i take him home for head bangs

@SleepingStandingUp Absolutely! Sign me up! I'm not sure I have any powers though .. but if there's training I'm all over it!

There's always training
We often stop on the walk to school to club trees (like feet on the roots above the pavement, arms up and he's convinced he's climbed v high), and he spends a LOT of time practising running fast and pretending to fly. Honestly, you'll be fine 🤣🤣

I gave my DS a special magic toy that had to go to school because it had to learn too It was a little tiny owl that could fit in his pocket.

I might see if i can find a tiny timmy the sheep toy. I like that. He'd have to keep him hidden tho, no toys allowed now they're so grown up 🙄

I miss that age so much. They're so cute when you can still sprinkle their days with magic ... and superheroes

My 5 year old sometimes decides of a morning he wants a pj and tv day

I just tell him it’s a non negotiable as it’s the law that I send him to school and i could get in trouble if he doesn’t go

It’s not about jobs at this age

I don't want to work either.
I'm 38
When I was in school I hated it, such a place to create robots
When 16 my teacher sat me down and asked me to take school seriously, what do you want to do with your life. I told her I certainly dont want to be a teacher, like you. Word is I drove her to quit teaching.

Anyway I turned out fine. But I'm still terribly lazy

@TheCrowsHaveEyes

I gave my DS a special magic toy that had to go to school because it had to learn too It was a little tiny owl that could fit in his pocket.

This is so cute!

Superhero seems a perfectly valid career aspiration but it's always good to have something to fall back on. Batman has a law degree from Yale.

I don't want a job either. I'm a teacher, and really not feeling it at the minute.

Can I sign up for superhero training please?

He is 5 years old ffs

TBF at 5 DS wanted to be batman and the best sandwich maker in the world.

Now at 8 he wants to be a youtuber and the best sandwich maker in the world.

I agree that it sounds like a reaction to the shift from the largely play-based YR to the increase in structure and expectations in Y1.

I've noticed children who feel anxiety - for example about their abilities compared to others, which will start becoming more obvious in Y1 - try to avoid the situation. Like anyone really. I would try to help by taking off the pressure.

Rather than worrying him with these realities about the law and having a job, try to help by working on his concentration and reading at home if you don't already. Keep screen time down; encourage play with LEGO, jigsaws, experiment with drawing or play board games. Anything non-tech he can get stuck into. Listen to him reading a bit every night; present as a non-negotiable and if he's not in the mood it just has to be a tiny bit.

Once he feels less anxious/out of his depth he will hopefully respond more positively.

I hated school, secondary school especially, the only thing I learned was how to fill the forms in to claim the dole, we got booted out the door at 10.45 on leaving day & by 11.30 I had signed on the dole. Didn't get a job until I was nearly 19 & worked there for 27 years until ill health forced me to finish. Never knew what I wanted to do, took a job that would do for the present & hated it.

@motorcyclenumptiness

Superhero seems a perfectly valid career aspiration but it's always good to have something to fall back on. Batman has a law degree from Yale.

Funnily enough that's what we were discussing last night when he declared he wasn't ever going back to school. So far so non complaining thism morning, he's used the magical piano to recolour good clothes.