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MARY POPPINS I AM BLOODY WELL NOT

81 replies

MarchionessofActon · 20/11/2020 13:31

I’ve been a nanny for ten years, with this family for 3.

The children aren’t young anymore, they are 6 and 9, but it’s still my full time job even though they’re at school. Believe me, there’s plenty to do during the day.

Their mum was never one for enforcing boundaries or being firm (that’s my job) but since March she’s been working from home and the children have got really used to having her there, and she is prone to being a complete soft touch with them which makes my job harder but there we go.

As many six year olds are wont to do, the youngest gives her the run around at bedtime (I do all the actual bath/bed/story bits, I leave when she comes up to say goodnight) I’m sure you know the sort of thing, anything to delay the actual going to sleep, like, ‘my bum is itchy’ (means Mum will get him up to come and have the worm medicine) or ‘Olivia didn’t want to play with me today’ (mum will spend upwards of forty minutes talking about friendship issues and conflict) ‘I don’t like the crease in my duvet’ (Mum will spend ten minutes re-making the bed and checking for imaginary creases)

I can tell when they have an actual issue, don’t get me wrong, but I’m experienced enough to recognise delaying tactics when I see them.

Anyway, smallest one has been going to sleep quite late. My boss asked me to stay over the time I normally leave because she hasn’t been able to get her to stay in her bed all week. So I do, and after a few firm ‘get back in your bed and close your eyes’ and zero indulgence of invented problems she was spark out asleep.
I went downstairs and told my boss who was very grateful. And I go on my merry way home.

An hour later I’m having dinner with my husband when my boss texts me and informs me that said child has woken up. She said

‘Priscilla was unfortunately not in a deep sleep as you thought she was and has now woken up and will not get back into bed. I think next time it would be great to be super vigilant to ensure the sleep she is in is a proper sleep and not one where she wakes up after a short time. I’m afraid she will be quite tired and grumpy tomorrow. I just thought I should let you know’

I just said ‘ok’ because my husband and I were laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Honestly, I know I’m good at my job, but enduring a child remains asleep from my flat five miles away when I’ve clocked off for the night...clearly beyond my capabilities and I have failed at being the Mary Poppins standard that is expected of me Grin

I am being lighthearted about it but it is another thing to add to the long list of times when parents come to expect the impossible.

Please do share any incidents of your employers or co-workers being utterly ridiculous in their expectations...

OP posts:
lazylinguist · 20/11/2020 15:26

Wtf? The mind boggles. They sound like loons. And why on earth did they have children if they don't want to spend any tine doing normal parent things with them?!

dottiedodah · 20/11/2020 15:27

InMyOwnLittleCorner LOL! So basically you dont go out then! My friend had the opposite ,lived 20 miles from nearest town .Was told to not put DC in Car as she didnt want them driven anywhere! (Didnt last long in that job!) Seriously though ,why would anyone have children ,and not want to do Bath Bed and so on? Surely the nicest part of being a parent!

ILoveYourLittleHat · 20/11/2020 15:29

@Audreyhelp

Oh my I work for parents like this . I got a text saying did you realise he was only pretending to be asleep .?
'Pretending to go to sleep' is what going to bed is! Surely we all do that before we actually fall asleep!?

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MummaBear4321 · 20/11/2020 15:40

My jaw is on the floor reading this thread. I cannot believe people dont do bed time with their kids. What do they do with their kids?!? I thought nannies were for work time childcare, not all waking hours childcare. I am clearly naive.

S00LA · 20/11/2020 15:52

@Playdead

Wow. All I can say is wow. I didn't realise there were still people like that out there.

Can you renegotiate your working hours?

You are clearly new to Mumsnet. Because every week there’s another thread from women who are not allowed to leave the house until all their children are asleep because the children’s father can’t put them to bed.

Or divorced men who expect their children to arrive for contact time with a suitcase of freshly washed and ironed clothes. Because the men don’t know how to buy clothes and do laundry.

MarchionessofActon · 20/11/2020 16:00

Yes, as the children are getting older I am getting to the end of my tether with this bedtime malarkey. The 9 year old should be able to bath herself and not require much input. As you can probably imagine I’m very much required in the mornings for getting them organised and to school on time, so working at their bedtime too is getting a bit much. When my boss actually went into the office, after school run I’d do all the children’s laundry/ironing/organising for the day in a couple of hours, then basically chill out or run my own errands until pick up, but now my boss is in residence during the day I’m very much ‘on’ 8-7pm.

OP posts:
NannyR · 20/11/2020 16:10

I thought nannies were for work time childcare, not all waking hours childcare
This is one thing I specify with agencies now when looking for jobs, and try to get a feel for when I go to interviews. I want to provide childcare for parents who need it because of work, not because they can afford to outsource all the "hard" bits of looking after children.

MoonJelly · 20/11/2020 16:12

Sounds like you need to make sure you never answer the phone to your boss after you've clocked off. Whatever she's phoning about, it's highly unlikely to be so urgent that she can't leave a message.

FourPlatinumRings · 20/11/2020 16:20

Sorry, creases in their duvets? Good Lord. Am I neglecting my kids by not ironing their duvet covers?

Em3978 · 20/11/2020 16:33

I work with children in a very different capacity, and only 11 hours a week.

A previous 'colleague' wanted me to be responsible for their behaviour for the time I wasn't there.

Colleague was/is paid probably 10x my wage and has the relevant training that I don't. But no, its MY fault the child/ren don't behave when I've clocked off...

FourPlatinumRings · 20/11/2020 16:36

I teach and parents have asked me to make their kids go to bed when told/eat their vegetables at dinner/get off their screens when told etc fairly frequently- I'd say I get asked something along these lines at least once a parents' evening.

forrestgreen · 20/11/2020 16:47

Omg that's awesome. Something along the lines of I won't bother doing bedtime as I can't be relied upon to ensure they will stay asleep, will have her panicking.

I'd stick to hours unless you want the overtime but tbh I think they should be terrified of you leaving!

Sometimesonly · 20/11/2020 16:52

In my old job I had to present the bathed and pj-ed children to the parents in the living room to say good night and chat very briefly about the day’s accomplishments just before I took them up, just like a Victorian nanny might have done!
OMG - this was literally my favourite daydream when I had three under five and bedtimes were a bit of a nightmare. I would imagine sipping on a gin and tonic while my very capable nanny would bring them all in to kiss me goodnight....sadly never happened.

Spudlet · 20/11/2020 16:59

Wow, that’s amazing. I mean, not in a good way... wow! Bedtime snuggly cuddles are the best bit of the day, those parents are missing out. And texting you is a flipping cheek.

I have a friend who nannies in That London, I’m so asking her if she has any similarly batshit stories next time I see her!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/11/2020 18:10

@Sometimesonly

In my old job I had to present the bathed and pj-ed children to the parents in the living room to say good night and chat very briefly about the day’s accomplishments just before I took them up, just like a Victorian nanny might have done! OMG - this was literally my favourite daydream when I had three under five and bedtimes were a bit of a nightmare. I would imagine sipping on a gin and tonic while my very capable nanny would bring them all in to kiss me goodnight....sadly never happened.
I was going to say the same, and I only have one Blush I mean, not every night, but it would be amazing to have a free pass on the odd night when you're utterly frazzled.

Can I ask - were these people mega ultra rich and posh? Or was it more that they could just about afford a Nanny and decided they were going to get their money's worth?

MarchionessofActon · 20/11/2020 18:13

They were a high net worth, definitely, and they were also from Russia. This meant they had an extremely traditional view (gleaned from films and books mostly Grin) on what a nanny’s role should entail. I would even accompany them on family days out to be responsible for the children and ensure impeccable behaviour at all times- it was more of a governess role in the end and they had 3 of us, all on a rota basis.

OP posts:
Audreyhelp · 20/11/2020 18:17

The people I work for aren’t mega rich . They just find bedtimes stressful . I feel it’s cruel when the little one can hear his mum downstairs and she won’t come up and out him to bed .

MarchionessofActon · 20/11/2020 18:20

Yes same as Audreyhelp for me in my current job. Not mega rich, upper middle class definitely but just very successful in high paying careers. They just find bedtime too much of a stress at the end of the day!

OP posts:
Cauterize · 20/11/2020 18:25

The mother sounds useless.

She could have a spoon full of fuck right off from me!

Sickoffamilydrama · 20/11/2020 18:28

My DSis in law is a housekeeper but has been a Nanny to high net worth individuals it is amazing how some people live.

I really would appreciate though OP if you come sort out my DS who we suspect will get a ADHD diagnosis when we actually get seen! It's my turn to put him to bed tonight and I'd prefer a G&T if you could use your super powers that would be great. It's pretty windy here today so I'd be careful arriving by umbrella ☔

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/11/2020 18:29

I would even accompany them on family days out to be responsible for the children and ensure impeccable behaviour at all times

Again... not an entirely unattractive proposition Grin

DPotter · 20/11/2020 18:34

I once asked a senior colleague at work, why he and his wife had bothered with children, as they had a day nanny, a night nanny and a weekend nanny. Wife was SAHM. In my defence I was drunk. He didn't have an answer............

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 20/11/2020 18:49

@DPotter
I would have though his defence should have been 'I was drunk...' Wink

Sickoffamilydrama · 20/11/2020 19:41

What I need is Nanny Mc MarchionessofActon what I need is Nanny ....oh wrong fictional character.

I have one for you my boss is my Dad and we have moved to a new IT company it's saved us money but also we have 365 so way more functionality he's finding this difficult but mostly it's been things actually unrelated to the IT system like locking himself out of the PC. The other day he said that's it I'm pulling the plug and we are going back to the old system because he couldn't get a PDF to work again completely unrelated to the system. If he does want to go back I honestly don't have the time or capacity to deal with it so actually it won't get done.

ReallySpicyCurry · 20/11/2020 19:58

A weekend nanny?
A night nanny?
Well bloody hell, now I know.

Like a PP, I obviously knew people had nannies but I assumed it was for working hours, and that they would actively desire to do at least some active parenting themselves