Best parenting advice you had

[Alfredandgeorgesgrandma]

We all get given mostly unwelcomed advice on how to parent our children but was any of it any good?

The best thing I was told was from my SIL. She said get each child two identical Santa Sacks for Christmas, put one at the end of their bed Christmas Eve and have the other pre stuffed with the presents hidden somewhere. Then when the little darlings finally fall asleep simply change one for the other thus avoiding making lots of noise in a quiet house and waking the little darlings up.

What's yours?

I think everything is indervidual to the child, my youngest is nothing like my oldest and the experiance is completely different in every way... what worked for one would not for the other.

Don't promise or threaten, either way if you say your going to do it do it.

Don't worry about routines just relax and go with the flow.

Time passes fast just enjoy it.

Both from my late nan.

My eldest is 18 next week. It's so true.
You get so caught up in things that don't matter, routines, how much they have eaten. It all fades away.

The days are long but the years are short

Absoloutley this.

Love the "just add water" one too.

Mine was someone saying "when you have a baby, everyone will tell you how best to parent it. But they aren't the ones there at 3am so just do it your way, all day"

Do what is right for you and your child, don't put yourself under pressure to conform to other people's ideas. You will know what is right for you and your family and that's all that matters.

bathorshower same here....everyone I knew with babies the same age used to be up at 6am ish for the day. I did the same as you and dd went down around 11 or 11.30pm and slept until 8.30 or 9am. Suited me way better. I often wonder though if it turned her into the night owl she now is although we are a family of night owls.

I don't know if someone said this to me or if I read it, but the whole 'is this the hill you want to die on' thing. Sometimes making a big deal out of a small problem really makes it a big deal. I completely lost perspective on weaning and it was a nightmare for ages because it became a power struggle. Ergo, badgering a toddler over a spoon of puréed carrots is not a good idea.

I did a parenting course because DS2 has special needs. It was a whole week long but the thing that stuck with me was re rows: try not to make things worse. Don't let the row escalate or become about something else. Manage your own behavior first.

Don't be quiet when newborn baby is sleeping. Have the TV on, hoover etc. Otherwise they get too used to silence and it helps them get used to sleeping with noise. That's the only advice I remember getting that I stuck to and thought it was great! The rest of it was shit.

Don’t co-sleep.

Everything is a phase.

Babies- Leave them alone to find their own routine, don't force them into yours. When they've found their own, gently tweak it to suit you..
Bigger children - Give them books and chuck them outside to play as much as you can.
Toddlers- Bribe them with chocolate buttons.

All three - never make a promise you can't keep.

You can't create 'bad habits' in newborns - do whatever you need to do to get through those early weeks/months. A tiny baby won't become dependent on any of it.

As PPs have already said:

Listen to all the advice. Try if it makes sense to you. Do what works for YOU and YOUR baby. If it works, do it. If it stops working, stop doing it - when it doesn't work or it becomes a problem for YOU.

Basically use other people's experience, know your child and ignore ALL the rest.

You cannot reason with a hysterical child. And attempting to do so generally makes things worse.

Whether you ask them for it or not, lots of people will give you lots of parenting advice when you're pregnant.

When the baby arrives, ignore it all, and just find your own way of doing things.

@MrsSparklyLady

bathorshower same here....everyone I knew with babies the same age used to be up at 6am ish for the day. I did the same as you and dd went down around 11 or 11.30pm and slept until 8.30 or 9am. Suited me way better. I often wonder though if it turned her into the night owl she now is although we are a family of night owls.

I got in big trouble off the health visiter when oldest DS was little for not having a 'normal' bed time routine of 6pm-6am, we went to bed at around 4am but had no reason to need a 'standard' schedual.

Me and DH worked nightshifts in nightclubs before DS was born so all through pregnancy would work until 3am and after DS was born I stayed home and DH still mostly worked nights so it fit what we where use too and our schedual.

I understand it would be an issue if he was in school etc... but he was a baby under 1 at the time, he didnt know/care if its 6pm or 4am and he can sleep any time he was tired.

Yes to not promising or threatening anything you're not prepared to follow through on.

Pick and choose the advice you listen to - we tried slings and co-sleeping as so many swore by them but hated both. On the other hand leaving them to self-settle and making noise around them so they get used to sleeping through it both served us very well.

Never argue with a toddler.

Let kids save face.

Film them (advice from an experienced dad when I asked him what I should do when my two boys were squabbling).

Don’t feel guilty if you can’t / don’t want to breastfeed

My favourite parenting advice is "if they are crabby, add water." This has served me well over the years and believe it or not with a 9 and 12 year old I still use it. Run a bath, take a shower, water the garden, wash the dog, have a hot drink, have a cold drink... just add water. It works 99% of the time.

Independence is not neglect - told to me when trying to get baby to sleep without being fed to sleep - but applies still now we are in the teenage years

@Nomnomarrgh

Don’t feel guilty if you can’t / don’t want to breastfeed

this ones a good one:

Theres nothing wrong with bottle feeding, its formulated to be what children need and is perfectly safe and fine.

Theres nothing wrong with breastfeeding if you want too either.

make the best choice for you not what someone else says is 'best' (which often is based in bias unfounded rubbish).

Every adult you see was a baby once and they got through it doesn't matter how

Advice is a form of nostalgia. (Wear sunscreen )

Parent the child you have. Awkward when you have two different models though!

Oh goodness op, that's such a good idea! Re two sacks I wish I had done that!! They are too old now!!.

Best advice came from someone who can be a bit of a pain on the advice front but I listen because he does come out with good advice too...

At the time dd was 3 and quite trying.. I very naughtily had said in front of her she was being naughty... He reminded me that what parents say they are make them.

So I started to say instead what a great girl she was and so good.. And eventually it worked 😂. Also it reminded me of how powerful our words are and how we don't realise the impact sometimes... Eg people who call their dc lazy etc...

This too shall pass. Applies to both the good and the bad bits, sleepless nights and being able to hold a tiny baby in your arms.