Best parenting advice you had

[Alfredandgeorgesgrandma]

We all get given mostly unwelcomed advice on how to parent our children but was any of it any good?

The best thing I was told was from my SIL. She said get each child two identical Santa Sacks for Christmas, put one at the end of their bed Christmas Eve and have the other pre stuffed with the presents hidden somewhere. Then when the little darlings finally fall asleep simply change one for the other thus avoiding making lots of noise in a quiet house and waking the little darlings up.

What's yours?

And as a PP said - cosleep. But know how to do it safely.

You have a bath and a washing machine. Ignore how messy they get.

From someone who had raised children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She maintained that children were happier when they were allowed to get as filthy as they liked. Instead of worrying about the mess they were making of their clothes/selves.

Talk to them. Let them know that no matter how massive the problem is that they can come to me and I will help. Seems to have worked with DD 18 years old.

There has been so many suicides among young people in my area in the last couple of years. At least twice a week the last thing I tell them at night is no matter how bad something is they can talk to me or someone about it. I pray it will sink in.

My mother was affectionate sometimes, but never verbally expressed love. She said people just didn’t say I love you to their children then (70s 80s Scotland) 🤔

I remember seeing a speech given by Diana, PoW when my oldest was a baby. She said to show love and say ‘I love you’ to your children often and without embarrassment. So I did and still do. It feels good and elicits lots of “I love you”s in return!

"If anyone gets you that fucking Gina Ford book, burn it, just burn it."

Be a 'good enough' parent. Google it, but basically, being good enough ratehr than perfect is best for everyone, including your baby!

All fed, no one dead = success

Don't look at the pile of shit to move, focus on what's on the shovel.

Buy two (change this according to number of children) of everything. Ignore this one at your peril!

Childhood is over in the blink of an eye. Don’t wish it away.

I did the stocking swap too.

A friend said to me, that whenever your baby is crying for something, especially in the night they're not doing it on purpose.

That was my mantra for a long few months of night waking.

Also the days are long but the years are short. I tell myself many times a week as we're right in the thick of the long days and I'm 100% guilty of wishing the years away.

If child has a favourite comforter, but a duplicate and rotate them regularly. Saved us when DD was poorly in the night but bunny was also "poorly."

@Wearywithteens

“Treasure the early years as those memories will get both of you through adolescence when it hits.”

Absolute rot. I get more joy out of my ‘adolescents’ then I ever did when they were tiny and constantly demanding and whiny!

It depends. Mine was an absolute nightmare and I’d have had my tiny boy back in exchange any time. Then, just as he became a joy to have around again, the bugger left home!

Co-sleep.

Sling at all times.

Breastfeed for as long as possible.

Routines are pointless.

They're little for such a short time.

I only have a three year old but - just add water, said to me by a mum friend. If in doubt stick them in the bath with toys, or in a puddle, or at the sink, or hand them a hosepipe in warm weather.

Don't follow others, make your own path.

You know your child, Do what you think is best and follow your gut.

If they call for you and want you...go, show them reassurance, security and love.

@EssentialHummus

I only have a three year old but - just add water, said to me by a mum friend. If in doubt stick them in the bath with toys, or in a puddle, or at the sink, or hand them a hosepipe in warm weather.

This is so true - especially for our three year old!

I once read the words ‘it works for us’ and that became my mantra through the first year.

Pick your battles

There are no perfect parents. We can only do our best, where we are with what we we've got.
Agree with if you are going to give in,do so straightaway
It's the job of siblings to learn to get on together. It's not a parent's job to be a referee.

On behalf of my sister who was concerned that her 7/8 year old still had a 'sly' bottle of milk before bed. His surgeon noticed her unease while they were in the hospital and said that he hadn't seen any 18 year olds in the pub with bottles of milk so was pretty sure he'd grow out of it. Thought it was lovely of him, and of course true.

Trust your instincts and don’t be fobbed off.

One of the best ones for small children is - if you want them to do something, don’t make it a question.
So rather than saying “shall we get ready? / Tidy up / brush your teeth” etc as people tend to do with toddlers, just say “right, let’s get ready to go / brush those teeth / tidy up”. Don’t give them the option to say no! It’s a small thing but works well with my very stubborn DS.

The very best advice I had was 'just sit down and cuddle your baby'.

I really struggled after the birth of dd, was going down the road of pnd. My dear friend told me to forget every other pressure in my life and just 'let my baby into my heart' because when I had achieved that, everything else would fall into place. It was the very best advice and I will always love her for it.

My father-in-law told me that you can never show a child too much love.

There will be a last time for everything. Try to remember it when you're reading the 14th story book at bedtime.

Noone knows your child better than you do. You might be going against the latest thing but so be it.

Try to keep the guilt at bay. Most things don't matter as much as you think they do

@JaJaDingDong

A dirty child is a happy child.

Also - everyone is good at something, you just need to find out what it is you're good at.

my toddler is not happy dirty... he gets very stressed if he feels he has dirt on him.