SAHP and Daily Mail

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Just read the above article in the Daily Mail about those SAHP being paid a wage effectively to look after their kids, what are your thoughts on It?

I’d rather have equal access to the joint account and equal decision-making input into the budget than be given pocket money by my husband but I guess it’s better than nothing (totally separated finances) when one partner takes on a lot more of the childcare burden.

In all the cases the amounts are pitifully low. Also, what happened to the concept of a joint account- or can't these women be trusted with the money their husbands earn. Surely equality would be- here is our money use what you need to look after our children. I think in one of the cases the amount was less than minimum wage. The whole tone of the article was just off

SAHPs and the working outside the home parent should have equal spending money - that’s the only thing that is fair (and that’s what we do). The whole idea of pocket money being given is demeaning. We both have our own accounts to which an equal amount is transferred each month to spend as we wish and the rest goes into a joint account for all incomings / outgoings. I bet the husbands in the article all have more spending money than their wives!

It’s all well & good being a sahp but if they leave you for another woman you’ve got no job to support you.

Ha, I just read this & I knew there would be a thread on it. I don't get it , why not have access to joint funds. Also some said the allowance was used for food so really there can't be much left over?

Because they used the word salary I assumed we were talking about amounts like 1k etc. It's just a weird article.

How cringey... I’m surprised those SAHMs had their photos taken for a national newspaper to say how happy they are about a few scraps from their husbands rather that having an equal relationship. Horses for courses.

One of the woman has 3 DC and she thinks she has got it good because she gets £650 pM to get all the shopping and all the DC clothing out of it!

What saddened me is the fathers just throw over extra money for Birthdays and Xmas for their kids effectively meaning they played no part in choosing special gifts for their kids. I am quite shocked that they think this is acceptable!

One of the woman stated that some of her friends who do not work have to ask their DH for money?
Pleaaaaaaase........ The 1950s called they want their under the thumb wives back

Just playing devil's advocate, but if these people are happy in their set up why do you care?

There’s a reason not to read the Daily Fail... Gets my hair up every time I look at it.

It’s a weird set up to me. I’m a SAHM and we have a joint account and equal access to all cash. It’ll stay that way even when I’m not a SAHM any more. But if they’re happy with their situation then fair enough I suppose!

@WellyBootsAreYouFrom

Just playing devil's advocate, but if these people are happy in their set up why do you care?

Probably because it's indicative of a wider issue in which, culturally, women and "women's work" are criminally undervalued. These women are in an unbelievably vulnerable position and if this article is to be believed, they are completely unaware, and even grateful to be given the bare minimum by their husbands. It's a horrifying state of affairs.

I did this years ago with both my children, stayed at home until they started school.
Dh transferred money to my account via a standing order every month, enough that I also saved a bit.
Worked for us
The only joint account we have is for the business and that is because we had to, to be able to pay the HMRC cheque in that is in joint names.

Can't see it is even newsworthy

I would only be a SAHM if there was access to the joint account rather than being given an allowance from DHs job.

I don't think it is newsworthy but DM does like to stick the boot into mothers whether we choose to work inside or outside the home.

I imagine the comments are a doozy.

@WellyBootsAreYouFrom

Just playing devil's advocate, but if these people are happy in their set up why do you care?

True, just opened up a discussion on it to see what you all thought. My mum is a 1950s mum who after all these years is still very much controlled by my abusive father, this article did not address the issues that could arise from this, especially for the SAHP.

It seemed utterly demeaning- even if the women all seemed happy with the decision. That several of them also had to fund the children from their pocket money didn't sit right with me. Why the hell wouldn't you have joint finances, and you both have an allowance from that for luxuries- worked out if your joint budget. You both get £150 a month (or whatever you can afford) and if you spend or save it- it's your 'pot' as it were. Labelling the money as the 'wife wage' was cringey, and I couldn't believe they all seemed so happy with it

One is getting household expenses plus £100 a month. That’s not a salary. The whole article is ridiculous.

My mum is a 1950s mum who after all these years is still very much controlled by my abusive father

50’s is one thing and abusive another. My grandparents had the set up all their lives (starting in the 40’s). It basically meant that my grandpa handed over almost everything he earned as ‘housekeeping’. He only kept back a tiny bit and my granny was in charge of household finances pretty much.

@JoJoSM2

My mum is a 1950s mum who after all these years is still very much controlled by my abusive father

50’s is one thing and abusive another. My grandparents had the set up all their lives (starting in the 40’s). It basically meant that my grandpa handed over almost everything he earned as ‘housekeeping’. He only kept back a tiny bit and my granny was in charge of household finances pretty much.

Thats not what us happening here though.

The article stated they were getting a " wife wage" to SAH when in fact they are being allowed a tiny amount of money to pay for shopping, childrens clothes etc
Its bizarre that they all think this is marvellous

DH is a SAHD, he's got full access to our joint account. The only time he has to "ask me" to spend something is if it's a big budget item, and the same goes for me, I have to check with him. It's OUR money.

I really don't understand these men who don't let their wives access the joint account....

What is never mentioned is that this money isn't even minimum wage if you factor in what you would have to pay staff to do the same job, eg cleaners, ironing, nanny etc. It's humiliating when you analyse it in that way. Also those women who aren't married are in a really vulnerable position if the relationship ends. The more I think about this article the more it disturbs me.

This is our set up. I have full access to the joint account for all big spending (bills, food shopping) and am fully involved in all spending decisions. BUT I am useless at spending money on myself so DH suggested this. I Use it for my haircut, drinks out with friends, coffee, make up. Anything I want. DH wouldn’t query what I spend, it is my issue. But this works for us.

I'm glad i've always worked as it means that I'm not reliant on my husband financially. It also means that i now have a decent pension.

As long as the women are happy and not being financially abused I dont think it's anyone else's business

It's not for me but I do have a friend in a similar position and she seems happy with it. Not for me to critics her marriage imo