Christmas for 1

[ChristmasFor1]

Please move if in the wrong section

Any advice on doing Christmas for just me

It’s unlikely I’ll be able to go to any of my family. My dad will go to his brother who has 3 children and a grandparent living with him so I can’t go there (usually the invite would be extended to me but it’s likely it won’t be this year due to the situation)

My mum and brother will go to my other grandparents house as they can’t possibly be left alone at Christmas (said grandparent has 2 other children who he could go to but my mum won’t hear of it) and they won’t invite me as my GP is ECV and I have a 6 year old still at school so I’m too much of a risk.

Said 6 year old goes to her fathers from 11am Christmas Day until 27th or 28th (haven’t decided yet), there’s a CAO in place so I can’t stop her going I wouldn’t anyway as she adores her father and will have loads of fun with him.

So it’s likely to be just me and the cat after 11am.

As a single parent I’m used to watching what I want on TV all the time so that doesn’t appeal, and I don’t really have the money to be going out anywhere or getting a takeaway so I’ll likely have to cook.

So how can I make it feel special? I will have the tree up, so what meals should I get? I don’t mind cooking but won’t slave over a hot stove for just me so don’t want to spend hours and hours cooking.

For added context I have MH issues so will need something to distract me from loneliness and dark thoughts creeping in (I'm usually well managed as I work and have DD 90% of the time but I won't be working over Christmas and she'll be at her dads so I need a distraction)

Anyone else in that situation?

What’s your favourite meal? I’d be tempted to get a ready made version then maybe lots of snack Christmas food that you can pick at

This sounds daft - but make a timetable for the day! Every hour schedule in something enjoyable but completely different. Have a special brunch scheduled in for 11:30 - half a grapefruit with brown sugar and then grilled etc. Glass of bucks fizz. Fill up the timeslots - A long bath with special bath-bombs or rose petals. Do one of those online escape rooms or by a gamepack off amazon. (They do them for one player). Facepack and glass of bubbly. Fav Xmas film (Die hard 😁). Get DD to plan a couple of the slots with/for you. Book in zoom sessions.Get in a 'nibble' selection. See the day as a reward for all you do and be utterly self-indulgent.

@Maturestudentneedshelp

This sounds daft - but make a timetable for the day! Every hour schedule in something enjoyable but completely different. Have a special brunch scheduled in for 11:30 - half a grapefruit with brown sugar and then grilled etc. Glass of bucks fizz. Fill up the timeslots - A long bath with special bath-bombs or rose petals. Do one of those online escape rooms or by a gamepack off amazon. (They do them for one player). Facepack and glass of bubbly. Fav Xmas film (Die hard 😁). Get DD to plan a couple of the slots with/for you. Book in zoom sessions.Get in a 'nibble' selection. See the day as a reward for all you do and be utterly self-indulgent.

Sounds great but I have no-one to zoom with, my parents and grandparents don't use technology and ExH won't let me even voice call DD while she's with him (we split due to his violence and controlling behaviour video and voice calls are in the CAO but ExH never answers when I call when DDs with him but always answers DD when she's with me)

I will have a nice fun breakfast with DD before she goes to her dads.

I can't have alcohol due to my tablets but a nice lunch sounds great, I absolutely love toad in the hole with mash and green beans so I could make that.

Escape room or an online game sounds great thank you for that suggestion I'll look into it.

The timetable sounds like a great idea, and I'd definitely schedule in a long walk before it gets dark–it'll help to get outside if you're feeling low, either with your favourite music/podcast or without; you'll no doubt exchange a few words with other people out walking.

I might get a festive puzzle or paint by numbers for easy mindless activity.

Do you want the meal to feel like a Christmas dinner? I'd probably get a load of pre-prepared bits and eat while watching a Christmas film.

Do you have anyone you could arrange a Secret Santa with so you have something to open on the day?

And I'd have the tv or radio on all day for company. Hope you plan a wonderful day OP.

@AtLeastThreeDrinks

The timetable sounds like a great idea, and I'd definitely schedule in a long walk before it gets dark–it'll help to get outside if you're feeling low, either with your favourite music/podcast or without; you'll no doubt exchange a few words with other people out walking.

I might get a festive puzzle or paint by numbers for easy mindless activity.

Do you want the meal to feel like a Christmas dinner? I'd probably get a load of pre-prepared bits and eat while watching a Christmas film.

Do you have anyone you could arrange a Secret Santa with so you have something to open on the day?

And I'd have the tv or radio on all day for company. Hope you plan a wonderful day OP.

I will have nothing to open on Christmas Day itself as family won’t give presents until I’m with them and ExH never bothers to get me anything from DD. That’s usual as I usually do the secret Santa at work and see a friend right before Christmas, if we can meet up then I may have a gift to open before my DD goes to her dad. I’m not worried about having nothing as I’m not a big lover of presents anyway.

I’m not bothered if it feels Christmasy the meal itself as I do a roast every Sunday that I have DD (eow she’s with ExH) so can do turkey either weekend before or after with her. I like the idea of toad in the hole with chips, I’d not normally do 2 lots of carbs but it’s Christmas .

Walk sounds a good idea, I live near a canal so can go for a walk down there.

No doubt the cat will be up for watching a film or two under a blanket.

I think this could be a good day thank you everyone for the ideas!

I’d get a Waitrose or marks’ ready meal type thing, you know with a starter/main/desert you can pick anything you like then and not much effort. If you want to do cheaper Aldi have a great selection of frozen nibbles, you can cook a look of picky bits and eat those. I’d get some orange juice and bubbles to have bucks fizz with it, makes me feel a bit special anyway. Good that you are being positive and making plans, so hopefully you’ll have a lovely day.

Do you like crafting? I didn’t think I did until I found something I enjoyed which is paint pouring. You could get a few craft bits to do that you haven't tried before. Maybe even something Christmas themed. Hobbycraft is great for supplies and ideas, you could try sowing, painting, drawing or whatever appeals.

I would include a little box of luxury so for the road in the hole more expensive sausages, if oven chips use the shops luxury brand.

I’d buy myself Christmas presents, not necessarily to open but to use for the first time on Christmas Day. Some lovely pyjamas or lounge suit. Nice bubble bath/bath bomb etc, fluffy socks or slippers, nice body lotion etc just a little pamper for yourself after lunch or your walk.

I’d save anything I fancied watching on TV or Netflix etc and download a book to my kindle, I would probably push the boat out and buy one I’ve been hankering after.

I hope you have a lovely day

These ideas are all great too. If it was me I would:
1 have Xmas presents in the morning with dd - if you think family are buying for you ask fo them to be dropped round as you'll be on your own. Otherwise if you can afford it treat yourself to a few bits and wrap them anyway- do will love thinking that Santa left some for you too.
2 have a special breakfast with dd - waffles or pancakes etc
3 go for a walk and blow out the cobwebs after she's gone, the canal sounds great.
4 have a hot bath and play some of my old favourite music really loud!
5 FaceTime some folk.
6 make a nice dinner
7 do something - jigsaw/ game etc
8 maybe some nice supper and choccies and films before bed

You could get some lovely non alcoholic fizz too as a treat. You will actually have a lovely time, a bit of headspace is good for the soul x

@YoBeaches

These ideas are all great too. If it was me I would: 1 have Xmas presents in the morning with dd - if you think family are buying for you ask fo them to be dropped round as you'll be on your own. Otherwise if you can afford it treat yourself to a few bits and wrap them anyway- do will love thinking that Santa left some for you too. 2 have a special breakfast with dd - waffles or pancakes etc 3 go for a walk and blow out the cobwebs after she's gone, the canal sounds great. 4 have a hot bath and play some of my old favourite music really loud! 5 FaceTime some folk. 6 make a nice dinner 7 do something - jigsaw/ game etc 8 maybe some nice supper and choccies and films before bed

You could get some lovely non alcoholic fizz too as a treat. You will actually have a lovely time, a bit of headspace is good for the soul x

Family won't drop off presents before the day they like to see me open them which is fair enough. My dad doesn't do presents for anyone so can't expect anything from him. Mum makes a big fuss and expects to see me open them (they're not together any more).

I'm not bothered about the presents, I just don't want to get lonely.

I have tried to get myself invited somewhere but keep getting told that it's "covid" I was dreading it but some of these ideas are great.

The rules might change yet before then, though appreciate the risk to family members. Do you work would you be able to 'isolate' so to speak. There's a rumour in a thread gets somewhere if schools closing early so that can happen.

But who knows!

@YoBeaches

The rules might change yet before then, though appreciate the risk to family members. Do you work would you be able to 'isolate' so to speak. There's a rumour in a thread gets somewhere if schools closing early so that can happen.

But who knows!

I do work but mostly from home so could isolate, but I'm too much of a risk to my GP on my mums side that I'd have to keep DD off school for 2 weeks before Christmas and not allow her to go to her fathers either which just isn't fair to her and her fathers unlikely to agree. So I'm assuming I can't go there.

My uncle on my dads side will probably have 6 with my dad at his so I can go there if the rule of 6 is lifted but if not I'm on my own.

That's life, it's sad and I'm a bit worried about my mental health. I am making plans as if I'll be alone from 11am and if I end up being able to go to my uncles then that's great but if not I'll have to push through and distract myself from the loneliness.

I spent some Christmas days on my own years ago (similar situation to you) and get the feeling that you don't want to celebrate the day as much as get through it without getting dismal? If this is the case, the danger zone for me used to be once it started to get dark and there was a long evening ahead. Definitely go out for a walk even if the weather's bad as it lifts your spirits and have a schedule for late afternoon onwards. Perhaps have your meal now rather than at lunchtime? Record some TV that you'll enjoy watching in the evening. I used to split the day into 2-hr slots and got through it somehow! I'm sorry your family is taking such a strong stance on your company for the day. Christmas grinches! Good luck 💐

Why don't you check rather than assume that you're not invited in the first instance.

Your grandparents might want you to be there rather than alone.

What is your favourite meal? Favourite movie? Perhaps there will be good tv on? Otherwise I suspect there's going to be thousands of us on here!!!

If you drive or cook there's projects out there preparing meals, here they are still hoping to be able to have 100 local elderly/lonely people for lunch, separate tables of course but may be delivering them all (or at least some) so need lots of people to delivery the meals and spend a few minutes talking (distanced) to the recipients.

@ChristmasFor1

sarah millican runs a chat thing on twitter on Christmas day #joinin aimed at people on their own, or anyone who just wants/needs a chat

The year I saw no family or friends (I did have baby dd and exh but it always had been 12+ before) we packed up some food and took an all day hike, met loads of lovely people out that day, many alone and seeing the sun setting over the mountains as we got back into the car was spectacular. Couldn't be bothered to cook at that point so we ended up with corn dogs for tea (USA) from the 24 hour deli, this was long before Deliveroo and we had no money. What I'm saying though is do what makes you happy, if it was just dp and I would go hiking or see if my friend will let us take his boat out rather than pretending I'm not missing my parents, siblings, kids etc - we might get some of these but still unknown due to covid

Someone local to me put a suggestion on fb last year saying they were going for a walk on Christmas day & would love to be joined by anyone on their own (I assume they were). You could do something like that? Then have a lovely self indulgent day?

[quote Ted27]@ChristmasFor1

sarah millican runs a chat thing on twitter on Christmas day #joinin aimed at people on their own, or anyone who just wants/needs a chat[/quote]
Yes, this.

I think you've got a great attitude given what you're up against and coming up with a plan is a good idea. Some excellent suggestions on here for you

@myhobbyisouting

Why don't you check rather than assume that you're not invited in the first instance.

Your grandparents might want you to be there rather than alone.

Because I know my mum, she always has prioritized her dad (my granddad) over me, if my mum thinks I'm too much of a risk then she will not let me go round, end of. It's the way it's always been. I won't upset my granddad by arguing with her so I'll gracefully bow out.

@lifestooshort123

I spent some Christmas days on my own years ago (similar situation to you) and get the feeling that you don't want to celebrate the day as much as get through it without getting dismal? If this is the case, the danger zone for me used to be once it started to get dark and there was a long evening ahead. Definitely go out for a walk even if the weather's bad as it lifts your spirits and have a schedule for late afternoon onwards. Perhaps have your meal now rather than at lunchtime? Record some TV that you'll enjoy watching in the evening. I used to split the day into 2-hr slots and got through it somehow! I'm sorry your family is taking such a strong stance on your company for the day. Christmas grinches! Good luck 💐

I will do Santa in the morning with my DD but once she's with her dad I just want to get through it.

I think i'm dreading that I may not get her back until 28th December (still not sorted out yet) so could be alone for 3 days. I like to plan, so hoping if I've got a plan I can starve off the loneliness.

You're right nightfall is the time to look out for and plan for.

Thank you

Maybe a local charity need volunteers over that period?

How about star gazing or going to see the road with the best Christmas lights? Something to do about 4 or 5 to shorten the evening a bit.

Try to find a programme/book/video/film that will make you laugh.

Dance to your favourite music from your teens.

Do something for DD for when she comes home

Decorate a room.

Set yourself an exercise challenge so you can try and improve each day.

Could you use the time to do any projects in the house for when your DD comes back? Could you do up her bedroom somehow as a surprise? Or prep for a nice new year's together by making snacks and food for the freezer?

I had the best part of 2 days to myself a few months ago when DP took DS to see family in cornwall. I made a list of things I wanted to achieve (which included nice food, a bath, a lie in and online gaming) as well as house stuff. It was great. Also there will be lots of Christmas tv which will help.

I really feel for you OP, I've no idea where I'll be at Xmas or who with but there's every chance I'll be spending some of it on my own as I have a lot of this year. It's horrible isn't it and I don't know about you but all the things I might usually do as a treat - nice bath, glass of something (not in your case), lovely food etc - I've done to death this year just as a way of getting through!

Christmas is such a rubbish time to be on your own because you assume everyone else is having a great time although I doubt that will be the case for lots of people this year. One thing, your ex sounds like a prize knob so not having to spend it with him is a bonus and good on your for not making it difficult for your daughter to do so.

Can't offer any practical advice but there are some nice suggestions from more optimistic posters!