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Teachers, will you be accepting gifts this year?

122 replies

NullcovoidNovember · 14/11/2020 23:42

Just wondering, I imagine home made fudge would not go down well 😂😂🎄🎄 but flowers... Booze? In gift bags...

They can be quarantined...

OP posts:
slothtrot · 15/11/2020 12:08

I hope that this year sees an end to gifts to teachers, it's an unnecessary expense for families.

ScrollEatSleepRepeat · 15/11/2020 12:11

Also I feel bad as I used to receive lots of gifts (only allowed to accept under a certain value etc) from clients, which were mostly alcohol - lots of champagne, wine, spirits etc. I don't drink so used to donate shit loads to the school Christmas tombolas and don't do that any more either. The guilt!

Retiremental · 15/11/2020 12:19

@DappledThings

People buy Christmas presents for teachers? I had no idea of this. DC1 is in Reception now so it's our first time.

I'd heard ofnend of year presents but didn't realise I was meant to do Xmas too. What a minefield.

Be prepared to be added to a class Whatsapp group ( how the hell they get your number) with a few self appointed queen bees telling you how much you'll be donating to the Christmas/End of term teacher gift fund Wink
Retiremental · 15/11/2020 12:25

‘we have 16 in the class and everyone has chosen to give £10-20 towards and John Lewis/ Waitrose gift card’

Please tell me that combined total is being divided against every teacher in the school?
And with the ‘everyone has chosen’ line, how many people have felt obligated, pressurised, guilt tripped into it?

MrsHamlet · 15/11/2020 12:35

What do I do with any gifts I'm given?
Wear them, plant them, drink them or drink from them, eat them, use them. I've got all the cards and notes I've been given in a box in my study. I don't ask for or expect gifts, but I am always touched that a student or their parent has thought of me.

tigger1001 · 15/11/2020 12:36

@Retiremental

‘we have 16 in the class and everyone has chosen to give £10-20 towards and John Lewis/ Waitrose gift card’

Please tell me that combined total is being divided against every teacher in the school?
And with the ‘everyone has chosen’ line, how many people have felt obligated, pressurised, guilt tripped into it?

Exactly, not wanting to be the only one who doesn't contribute.

Just think how much classroom supplies that money could buy that would benefit all the kids.

Letsgetgoing888 · 15/11/2020 12:43

@lolabears

Will still be contributing towards teacher and TA present. As a class we always give them the same thing, usually a £200 JL voucher each. Maybe I'll stop when the DC are older but they're still young now and I know the teachers are both very hands on (small village school, thankfully no covid yet).
Oh my goodness how much money do you have to put in for them to get that much? Is that not a bit ott?
Retiremental · 15/11/2020 12:46

‘Just think how much classroom supplies that money could buy that would benefit all the kids.’

£320 worth.
Please tell me that an individual teacher would not accept this as a personal gift?

slothtrot · 15/11/2020 12:48

@Retiremental

‘Just think how much classroom supplies that money could buy that would benefit all the kids.’

£320 worth.
Please tell me that an individual teacher would not accept this as a personal gift?

I would imagine that they are not allowed to if they are employed by a local authority, I am (not in a school though) and it's token gifts only with a small monetary value.
MrsHamlet · 15/11/2020 12:50

@Retiremental

‘Just think how much classroom supplies that money could buy that would benefit all the kids.’

£320 worth.
Please tell me that an individual teacher would not accept this as a personal gift?

We don't actually have a gifts policy (I'm secondary) but a)I can't imagine someone trying to give me a gift worth that much and b) if they did, I'd be highly embarrassed.
SionnachRua · 15/11/2020 12:54

In my school the parents usually put ten euro each into a joint voucher, flowers and wine. They'd get something for the secretary and principal too. Trust me, money isn't an issue - they wouldn't be attending the school if it was. So yes, I would and do accept it. In a different school I might feel differently about it.

@ScrollEatSleepRepeat I wouldn't feel too bad, they may not even be able to share bits like that this year.

SionnachRua · 15/11/2020 12:56

Having said that, the voucher is lovely and all but the best present always will be a heartfelt card or letter. I have a collection I've kept over the years in a box at home. They're lovely to be able to pull out now and again.

NullcovoidNovember · 15/11/2020 12:58

No one pressures me into giving anything!

One year we had no £, dd had her gifts free from the free cycle, and we contributed 50p.

The lady collecting laughed and said she had hoped for a bit more, it was really embarrassing but that was all we could afford and no gifts to each other!
The lady collecting had 6 bed house with disco /playroom in the basement.

I was a rookie back then, I'm very comfortable now saying we do our own things (which maybe zero) or contribute, or not..

To be honest, those that feel pressured into doing things should use these types of soft, inconsequential events to practise standing up for themselves and saying... No.

OP posts:
Letsgetgoing888 · 15/11/2020 12:59

[quote Jellycatspyjamas]@whattodo2019 because the school are being strict about Covid regulations and not bringing stuff from home into school. Knowing the head teacher as I do, she’ll consider her staff to be doing their job in “working their arses off” and will also be trying to curb excessive gift giving - the school is in a very mixed catchment, for every parent that can afford a gift there will be another who is literally on the bones of their arse. I imagine she won’t want children to feel upset that they can’t give a gift or parents to stretch very limited household budgets on gifts for her staff who are well paid for the job they do. Covid is a good way of putting the brakes on.

If every one of those 16 parents put even £10 into a John Lewis voucher the teacher gets £160 (or £320 if they all give £20), that’s a huge gift by any standard. For some of our parents £10 is nothing, for others it’s a good part of their weekly food bill. While I’ve always been happy to give a gift to my kids teachers I can see the wider issues and am happy to follow the schools lead on this.

What about parents who can’t afford, the teachers hopefully still worked their arse off, and the work is still valued.[/quote]
I agree with you, and think £10-£20 each is ridiculous!

I have given £5 in the past and even this tends to be £100 ! When people suggest £10 each I just say I’ve already bought something.

It’s not that we can’t afford it, it’s that I don’t agree with it, it’s way OTT. I tend to let my dc choose a very little something and write a card with a personal message.

In some schools this gift giving becomes competitive, like parents want to buy their kids success. It’s cringey.

nosswith · 15/11/2020 13:02

Interesting set of views expressed. I'm not someone with school age children, and have two retired teachers in the family.

Competitive giving does not surprise me if it occurs.

Bluepolkadots42 · 15/11/2020 13:07

As a secondary school teacher I get nothing usually so would be very pleased to get something (so long as it was just a small token obvs).

Letsgetgoing888 · 15/11/2020 13:09

A few years ago, one of dc’s primary teachers was admitted to hospital and through the grapevine (Chinese whispers) it sounded like she was quite poorly.

One of the do-gooder mums took it upon herself to set up a collection and raised over £150. It was a bit embarrassing for us and the teacher, as it turned out that it was a misunderstanding, and she wasn’t actually admitted, and was back at school a couple of days later. This made me realise how ridiculous and ott the whole cash giving thing is.

rc22 · 15/11/2020 13:12

@TheRuleofStix Not true about other public sector workers. My friend works in the NHS and can accept small gifts like chocolates, biscuits, flowers and wine from patients. She would have to check with managers if patients tried to offer anything of high value but that's the same for teachers.

NailsNeedDoing · 15/11/2020 13:12

It didn’t occur to me that this might be a thing this Christmas, I’ve already started making gifts for my class!

TheRuleofStix · 15/11/2020 13:15

@rc22 yes that was my understanding. I think, as another poster said the reason teachers get gifts is because we spend such a long time with our children whereas in most public sector roles the relationships don't tend to be as long or are with adults rather than children. Happy to be corrected on this!

Retiremental · 15/11/2020 13:16

@NailsNeedDoing

It didn’t occur to me that this might be a thing this Christmas, I’ve already started making gifts for my class!
Given the concerns expressed repeatedly by teachers about the levels of risk they perceive they are being exposed to, I think it’s highly unlikely that they will be happy to accept gifts.
Notnownotneverever · 15/11/2020 13:17

It would be nice if the teacher present nonsense stops. I work in another public sector role that has been privatised. We are not allowed individual gifts although as a team can accept boxes of biscuits to share if under £5. But I always found it difficult to say no to joining the collections for teachers and TAs. They work hard and so do I. I don’t see a difference. But I also did drop in a large box of homemade cakes one year for the staff room as an acknowledgement that there are many staff contributing to my DC’s education. It seemed well received and I felt more comfortable with that. I doubt that would be welcomed this year unless they were sealed shop bought cakes.

TheDetectiveBadge · 15/11/2020 13:20

I'm a secondary teacher so we don't really get gifts but at my school parents often write in at Christmas and at the end of the summer term to say thank you etc. and our head collates all the messages into a staff newsletter so we can all read it. It's really nice and lovely to read, so if you do want to do something then email in! Honestly we really appreciate the messages.

Smallwhiterat · 15/11/2020 13:34

I write thoughtful and thankful cards for the staff involved with my children, which given all the job shares and TAs etc comes to about 8 people! I can’t sensibly buy presents for that many adults, and even if I did I’d feel bad for missing out all the “unsung” staff like the caretaker and the office ladies. I also usually bring in something edible for the staff room but since the staff room is now closed and with all the hygiene protocols etc I’ve decided not to do that this year.

NailsNeedDoing · 15/11/2020 13:35

Given the concerns expressed repeatedly by teachers about the levels of risk they perceive they are being exposed to, I think it’s highly unlikely that they will be happy to accept gifts.

I’m sure some will feel that way, but I don’t. Nor do any of my colleagues as far as I’m aware. I’m spending all day with other people’s children anyway, I really can’t see that accepting a card and a scented candle is going to significantly increase my risk of catching covid.

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