Teachers, will you be accepting gifts this year?

[NullcovoidNovember]

Just wondering, I imagine home made fudge would not go down well 😂😂🎄🎄 but flowers... Booze? In gift bags...

They can be quarantined...

Teachers have to declare their gifts too, usually over a specific amount

For the last few years our school has asked for food bank donations in lieu of teacher gifts, so I expect they will do the same this year.

@Jellycatspyjamas

Im not a teacher but my kids school have asked that parents don’t send gifts to teachers this year.

Why? I think teachers have worked their arses off this year and have gone above and beyond. At the school my children go to we are doing the total opposite and going OTT with gifts. we have 16 in the class and everyone has chosen to give £10-20 towards and John Lewis/ Waitrose gift card

I certainly plan to get my DSs teacher a gift. He's not exactly a model student but she's been brilliant with him.
The gift is 100% for her, I will make an attempt to find out what her bottle of choice is. I'd be pretty miffed if someone dictated that gifts are to go to the food bank, it's not the food bank who've put a bit of fun and confidence into my DS.
I don't even know the TAs name nevermind anything else.

Our school put a stop to kids giving out Christmas cards last year, 400 kids sending 30 cards each is a lot of cards going to recycling.

Teacher here and I can't emphasise enough that a card/ note/letter means so much and I always keep them. I have received some beautiful and generous gifts but I sometimesfeel embarrassed or awkward for the other pupils. Plus I might forget who gave what and struggle to carry it home (first world problems!). And they can be wasteful.
A letter really is the perfect gift for me.

Well I've worked in public sector jobs for years and always been told you can't accept gifts. If someone absolutely insists or it's been sent and you can't give it back then whatever it is must be shared with the team.
Someone said other public sector jobs don't form relationships with people, well that's just not true, worked with the same service users for four years.
Just doesn't sit right with me, it's just another pressure for people and kids who's parents say no then feel shit about themselves so they have to do it.

@whattodo2019 the teacher will definitely have to declare your gift

Searchesforhipbones You have just proved something. What you just said means more to me then all the flowers and chocolates in the world. Thank you.

Tell the fabulous, if terrifying woman 😁

That was supposed to be a grin, not my imagining of the fabulous and terrifying woman!

No teacher needs Christmas presents from students or their parents, and I was always uncomfortable when they were given. A simple “thank you, have a good Christmas” is all that’s needed.
Competitive present giving (as used to feature in my children’s primary school, and which appears to be even more a “thing” now) is just weird.

It’s not that other public sector jobs don’t form relationships it’s more who is the client.

Nobody is seriously expecting/wanting families on low incomes to give teacher gifts but the fact is the majority of the population have teachers and most can afford a £5 token.

That isn’t true of say housing officers or social workers where the client is usually in a subsection of society where buying gifts is not a reasonable expectation.

I’m sure I’ve worded that badly and someone will be upset with the way I’ve said that but I honestly don’t mean to be horrible.

I also write as a parent who has already happily given £5 to my DCs teachers collections and not as a secondary teacher who neither gets not expects very much at all!

@MrsTerryPratchett

I hope this signals the end of the teacher presents. I've never understood why as a housing worker, social worker, charity worker, it's been considered totally unethical to accept any gifts but teachers get them (and quite expensive ones in some cases) every year. Public servants should have the same rules. No gifts.

Public sector workers are generally allowed to accept a small seasonal gift of low monetary value . Especially if they can be shared with other staff ( in normal times ) .

So a box of chocolates, biscuits or some coffee that’s for the staffroom / staff in the ward / office - fine.

Or something like a plant or case of flowers that everyone will enjoy - also fine.

It’s clear that it’s a small token of appreciation for the work the team has done.

It’s a problem if it’s of high value or it could be seen as a bribe or gift in expectation of favourable treatment.

So giving a surgeon a plant and thank you letter after she did your mothers hip replacement - fine.

Giving a surgeon a gold watch after your mother was told that the waiting time for her op would be 6 months - not fine.

Personally I think that large gifts or money / vouchers that I hear about on MN is not ok. I’ve read of £10 per child, so perhaps £300. I’m not sure if this is even allowed in my country , I’ve never heard of it in RL.

I also think that many gifts from drug companies to GPs are also bribes and should be illegal.

@JulietiSpaghetti

Teacher here and I can't emphasise enough that a card/ note/letter means so much and I always keep them. I have received some beautiful and generous gifts but I sometimesfeel embarrassed or awkward for the other pupils. Plus I might forget who gave what and struggle to carry it home (first world problems!). And they can be wasteful. A letter really is the perfect gift for me.

When my DD was in primary school she had a few teachers who she really loved. So at the end of the school year she made then a big card and inside she wrote all the things she remembered, with little drawings.

It was funny when you read the book upside down.
I laughed when you said ....
I always remember to do ....since you told us.......
I like it when you say “ spit spot” when we tidy up.
I liked learning about the Romans.
You helped me learn how to multiply using grids.

About 8 years later I bumped into one of these teachers in a shopping centre ( she had since retired ). She asked after my DD and reminded me about the card and said she still had it and how much she loved it.

When a teacher in high school is especially helpful to me / my child I email the head teacher / head of year. IMO they need more positive feedback like this - so many parents are quick to complain and slow to praise.

We will give some boxes of Thorntons to teacher and TA as usual.

They can hysterically bin them privately if they want. I don't care.

What do parents think teachers do with all of these gifts? The competiveness to think of something different, special, personal that no one else can think of makes me cringe.

Why would you spend money on goods that will be given away, sent to charity, landfill? Even worse is the cash collection because they know the teacher already has a load of tat.

Any teachers on here who could tell us what they do with all of this stuff? A bit like a pp who said her DCs wait to pounce, we have a manager who brings his teacher wifes surplus gifts in. We have a rumage, choose what we want and the rest goes to the charity shop next to our office.

The charity shop chuck some of it in the bins in their yard and locals rummage in there and take what they want. I wonder if they then pass it on to their DCs teachers in the next round?

@S00LA that's a lovely idea.

@whattodo2019 because the school are being strict about Covid regulations and not bringing stuff from home into school. Knowing the head teacher as I do, she’ll consider her staff to be doing their job in “working their arses off” and will also be trying to curb excessive gift giving - the school is in a very mixed catchment, for every parent that can afford a gift there will be another who is literally on the bones of their arse. I imagine she won’t want children to feel upset that they can’t give a gift or parents to stretch very limited household budgets on gifts for her staff who are well paid for the job they do. Covid is a good way of putting the brakes on.

If every one of those 16 parents put even £10 into a John Lewis voucher the teacher gets £160 (or £320 if they all give £20), that’s a huge gift by any standard. For some of our parents £10 is nothing, for others it’s a good part of their weekly food bill. While I’ve always been happy to give a gift to my kids teachers I can see the wider issues and am happy to follow the schools lead on this.

What about parents who can’t afford, the teachers hopefully still worked their arse off, and the work is still valued.

I don't do teacher gifts. Our school have said previously that the majority are given away as teachers get so much, so donate them instead to food bank etc.

Have a look at the handmade gift giving thread to get a Mumsnet view on homemade gifts - consensus is they get thrown away

I'm a TA in year 2. The children in my class enjoy making little cards and notes for each other and sometimes us. When I get a drawing or note from one of them it makes my day and goes on display. It definitely means a lot to have a child write their appreciation. (And it always opens my eyes to what they notice because often it's thanking me for something I hadn't even thought twice about!)

What do parents think teachers do with all of these gifts?

I kind of hope she'll drink or eat it. I don't buy stuff that requires to be kept. Bottle or box of chocolates.

I give £20 to my postman, which is more come to think of it than I spend on the primary teachers (it is only ever primary/nursery) about £10 each. It's become a tradition, it is the mothers who maintain it not the staff.
I do wish it stopped in some ways as it is why another stick to bash teachers with.

I've given flowers, seeds, plants..

That's why we do JL/Waitrose vouchers. If nothing else with £200 they can do a weekly shop (perhaps two) in the closest supermarket.

@Possums4evr you're right it is the mothers who maintain it, even when schools or teachers say please don't there will always be some parents who still do. I don't understand the teacher bashing.

@Bikingbear would you mind if the teacher gave away her bottles or chocolates, once she'd had her fill or the ones she didnt like? That's what our managers wife mostly sends in, along with toiletries.

I always used to do a Christmas box type thing so everyone could share it in the staff room - nice tea/coffee/hot chocolate/biscuits/squash etc, with a card from my DC in their own words - they have SN so these were sometimes comical . This year I don't have the spare money to do a hamper and feel really bad about it (as I've been doing this for some of the same support staff for years and know what they like eg Twinings tea).

I will still get DC to write the card (and it will be a good one this year!) but I have awful guilt about not doing the Christmas box. I could do a basics/value type box but I don't think that's a "treat" really and would be even worse than not doing one?

This year can fuck right off, can't it.