Help. Dd very upset. Need advice on school situation.

[Shinygoldbauble]

My dd is 14. She is a good person. She is a conscientious student who does well in school. She is absolutely rule driven. She has Sensory Processing disorder and is quite anxious.
She came home from school distraught today. She had an exam today, on one chapter of a text book. She studied and I tested her on some questions last night. She knew and understood it.
Today in class she was working on her test when the teacher shouted out 'You're cheating! You are looking at that girls test'. Dd said she didn't think for one minute that the teacher meant her but the teacher pointed at her and shouted it again.
She said she was shocked and said she wasn't, the teacher said she was cheating but dd said she got a bit upset and just kept repeating that she promised she wasn't cheating. The teacher let her continue on but dd said she was so embarrassed and upset she could hardly write.
I'm so upset and angry. Dd knew the subject. She had no reason to cheat. I want to speak to the school. Dd doesn't want me to. She thinks it's the teachers word against hers and it will make the teacher dislike her more.
What would you do?

Urgh, I feel the rage on your behalf! Bizarrely the same thing happened to me when I was in school, got accused of cheating on a physics exam by a teacher who'd regularly taught me for months - despite me regularly coming top of the class prior to this he hated me though. Since then I slowly lost interest and abandoned my dreams of becoming a physicist. Wanker. You do right pushing this.

It sounds like she's been really upset by it. Do you have email contact for the teacher?

Perhaps just worth a quick email or phonecall explaining how upset she is. I'd never want a student to be this upset, even if they had cheated! There are worse crimes. I'd want to know so I could chat to her and reassure her about school council etc. Sometimes I even apologise to students because we do make mistakes.

@Dogsaresomucheasier

How unfortunate for your pupils that you appear to apply a one size fits all approach and are not flexible enough to apply other approaches for vulnerable students. I assume there must be at least one such student per class then who is being let down by such a response.

I speak from experience with one of my children who had the unfortunate experience of a teacher unable to understand anyone not 'mainstream' and consequently who made his life hell. One wonders why they bother to teach for it can't be for love of teaching.

OP I think your daughter just needs to chalk it up to experience of perhaps zero tolerance in the classroom.

@Hercwasonaroll

Umm, this is the first teacher thread I have posted on, so I really don't know what you are talking about. All I meant was it is not always as clear cut as teachers tell the truth, teenagers always lie. If OP and her DD don't want to take it any further then fair enough. If they do want it looked into then comparing the daughter's test with that of the person she was accused of copying from will probably prove whether or not she was lying about cheating.

Also, talk to her about the appropriate time to discuss things with her teacher.
Repeating “I wasn’t cheating” and disturbing what should be a silent classroom is a pain in the arse

I work with teachers like you, can never be wrong. So ruddy annoying. Of course a child can keep saying "Iwasnt cheating" if the teacher keeps saying "You were".

The teachers I work with that hold the respect of the kids are those that DONT humiliate them in front of others. And can admit if they made a mistake. The times I have known a teacher be wrong, backed a child, and maybe lost the liking of another adult but I couldnt care less. I know teachers lie/make mistakes, as do kids. Admitting it is never a wrong thing

Geez I hate that “we won’t believe them about home if you don’t believe them about school” line. Way to perpetuate a culture of covering up child abuse.

I would send a polite email to the teacher asking her what happened, explaining that your DD was very upset and enlightening her a bit on her disorder. That way you can open the discussion without her jumping on the defence.