Is It Strange to Call Your Parents By Name?

[tt3t]

I was just reading another thread, and someone commented that they call their mother by name. I remember a girl in primary school would do this too and always thought that personally, it was quiet rude, but I guess her mother was okay with it so who am I to judge.

My sister will occasionally call our parents 'mother-name' or 'papa-name', but never by their name alone.

Does anyone else find it strange or know of anyone who does this?

I would find it strange. It just isn't something I am conditioned to do.

Maybe some others do it? I don't know.

I call my mum a shortened version of her name. I have done since I was a young teen. Can't remember how it came about but it stuck!

Yes .. it's weird.. and disrespectful.. they are mum/mummy/ ma/ mom / mother and dad/daddy/ father..

It’s it disrespectful if that’s what they want to be called? What’s disrespectful is calling someone by a name they dislike?

I’m called Mummy. But it’s not a respect thing. It’s more familiar than using my first name if anything. It isn’t like calling me Mrs Adra.

I think it sounds surprising because it isn’t the norm but there’s nothing wrong with it, just a different choice.

I find it strange but I know two people who have called their parents by their first names since they were teens.

I call my mother a shortened version of her name as a way of taking away the title of mother because she was and still is an emotional terrorist who made my childhood a terrifying nightmare.

She doesn’t deserve the title mother beyond the definition of giving birth to me. So I call her by her nickname.

I think it's very disrespectful, and I couldn't do it.

DH calls his parents by their first names (always has) and our nearly 2 and nearly 4 year olds call us by our first names. I prefer it personally. I mostly avoid calling my own DM anything as Mummy is too much as an adult and I never called her Mum so it sounds a bit try hard

I used to nanny for a family who referred to the grandma by her first name which she preferred. If she was ever talking to the children about their parents, she would use their first names which I found odd as the children called their parents mummy and daddy. But each to their own I guess

I get that it's unusual, maybe, but when people jump instantly to 'disrespect' I find it quite presumptuous.

I do, there's a reason for it and it's not disrespectful. I still also call her mum. Calling her her name doesn't make her any less my mum. I use it with fondness and love. I love her name. She's the most important person in my life and the most special human being and mother. It's not said out of coldness, or disrespect. She never ever once took offence either, and I know because we've talked about it many times and I've asked her directly. She's still a human to me as well as being my mum, too, it's just her name.

@Hoowhoowho if you don't mind me asking, did your children call you by name by themselves, or was it prompted?

I call my mum by her first name to others.. I'd say to DP 'Jane is coming over so we better make the house presentable'. To a colleague who doesn't know who 'jane' is i'd call her mum. Then again, I have a few friends who refer to their parents by their first names.

I don't have the best relationship with her, I occasionally call her first name to her face but she looses her mind.

My 2 teens call me by my first name. I don't like it really. Dc3, the youngest, calls me mummy.

I call mine by her name when I'm teasing her - for example "sort yourself out Diane, where's my brew?" But she is mum normally.

My husband does. But his parents are rather strange and I think they have an odd relationship in some respects.

Mine use my name. I like it. They are adults though and I feel it’s a friendly, easy going thing.

DP and his sister both call their parents by their first names. I find it really odd, to be honest. Couldn't do it with mine - sounds so formal and cold.

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners

I call mine by her name when I'm teasing her - for example "sort yourself out Diane, where's my brew?" But she is mum normally.

Haha, same here.

My 2 and 4 year olds call me and DH (their dad) by our first names. It's what we've taught them. Sometimes I get called mummy/mum/Hanni (name is Hannah).

Personally I'd find it odd to call them "son" all the time - it's no less odd an idea that they'd call us our relationship to them.

I don't get hung up on what other people do though; horses for courses and the like

My dd calls me by my name most of the time ( she is 19).
It started as a joke, but it stuck. It's not disrespectful- we are close, and she loves and respects me.
I mostly like it, but I hope she calls Mum again some time
🙂

I usually call my parents by their first names, at 63 I am not going to call out 'Mummy' to my 87 year old mum if we are out shopping together . And I am very happy if my DS calls me by my name, I don't find it disrespectful at all, being a mother doesn't define me, I have a name, I like it to be used.

I have one grandparent on each side that I refer to by name, and my mother refers to her dad as Daddy but would have used his name in his presence, and my DH refers to his mother by name. Ironically both My DF and I had problems meeting in-laws because of name confusion. I was like who dis on your phone all the time.... my mother

I will never forget what the very straight talking head teacher of DSs primary school said when we were in the eye of a horrible storm of ADHD and anxiety wth him. He was calling us by our first names, (nobody at CAMHS whd said anything much useful to us at the time about any of the living nightmare we were in). 'oh', she said; 'you want to nip that one in the bud, he's calling you by your given names to be on the same level as you. He doesn't accept your authority on his life, and he is wanting to change the balance of power'. He was eight at the time, and was so, so difficult to parent. He basically didn't accept the parent-child relationship deal. She was right- and I have noticed this happens when he's at his most difficult.

That feels so cold and distant to me.

MIL always seemed to call her mother by her first name. Not her dad though.