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So fed up of living in an unfinished house

39 replies

losenotloose · 09/11/2020 22:40

I try to stay positive but every so often I feel overwhelmed with frustration about my house. We've lived here for over 3 years now and there's still so much to do. The problem is that dh is doing all the work himself (which has included knocking down a wall, fitting a new kitchen and bathroom etc) in between working full time. I just want to live in a nice house! Am I being spoilt? I feel like it's understandable to have had enough but dh acts like I'm being a spoilt brat.

OP posts:
losenotloose · 09/11/2020 22:42

I don't expect a show home but we still have skirting boards just resting in place, building paraphernalia everywhere, wooden flooring piled up in the living room. It's depressing.

OP posts:
Claphands · 09/11/2020 22:58

Are you me? I am in exactly the same position, work is not progressing at all really, although our kitchen is finally being installed tomorrow.
Is getting someone in the do some of the jobs a possibility?

losenotloose · 09/11/2020 23:03

Glad to see I'm not alone! Not really, there's so many little jobs to do now rather than whole rooms. Also, money is an issue, although right now I'd be prepared to get a loan just to get stuff moving!

OP posts:
burglarbettybaby · 09/11/2020 23:06

We are in a similar boat but have the kitchen and living room perfect. Could you get the main area complete for christmas (easier said than done I know)

losenotloose · 09/11/2020 23:11

The main areas are thankfully done. Our first Christmas here we had the oven in the living room and no work surfaces! It wasn't so bad but after 3 years plus the novelty has worn off. It's lots of little things! The doors all need replacing, hallway still not done and many, many finishing touches. And like I say the general building crap everywhere (paint pots etc) that overwhelm me.

OP posts:
SlippersForFlippers · 09/11/2020 23:22

We've been in a similar amount of time we have the bedrooms to do still. We have flooring and paint ready but not the money to pay for plastering or a flooring fitter. No idea when we'll finally get to it..

User258544 · 10/11/2020 00:22

This was my childhood, you have my sympathies. Now live in a new build Grin.

DFs new partner agreed with him to finish the main living areas first - kitchen, lounge.

Gingernaut · 10/11/2020 00:27

Same. Utterly fed up.

Not helped by my ADHD habit of starting a project, leaving half done and starting another project.

There's salvaged furniture all over the ground floor and bits to do all over the house.

Don't get me started about the back yard.

Guineapigbridge · 10/11/2020 00:32

My worst nightmare

Guineapigbridge · 10/11/2020 00:35

I don't think you're being spoilt. It affects you more than it does him, living in mess.
Can't you just pay someone to finish the main areas off?

Akire · 10/11/2020 00:36

How slow is progress? If he’s putting in the hours every week and working full time then you can’t complain to much. If however he spends all weekend walking around round moaning about how hard he’s working and only 20min kicking skirting boards, moan away!

Can you try and pile up tools and stuff in one room out of the way? I would be tempted pay someone even for a day or two just to get some rooms finished off to a basic level before Xmas.

PhilCornwall1 · 10/11/2020 05:35

No, you aren't. We spent a few years with a kitchen and bathroom that needed replacing. The kitchen was done professionally 3 years ago and the whole thing really didn't cost that much. B&Q kitchen and fitted by them. Done in 7 days, completely finished.

The bathroom was done professionally last week, 5 days in total from ripping out to complete, just the floor to do. Again not expensive.

There is no way it could have been done that quick without others doing it. I hate living in a mess, so this was the best option.

It's worth spending the money to get others to do it and it doesn't have to be the MN 20 grand for the kitchen and 15 grand for the bathroom. We have a decent sized bathroom and kitchen, kitchen was 4.5k fitted and bathroom was under 3k for all the bits and fitting.

Get others to do it for your own sanity, oh and a better quality finish!!

weepingwillow22 · 10/11/2020 06:37

We have been living with building work for 10 months and that is with getting others in to do it! It is awful getting trades at the moment where we live. We have to wait months for some and many are charging huge rates e.g £700 a day for a carpenter just becuase of the demand.

Getting others in may not be the panacea you expect.

Jroseforever · 10/11/2020 06:39

I have a box of things to eBay in my lovely dining room and I can’t tolerate that

So I absolutely sympathise with you - sounds bloody awful. Your gone is meant to be your sanctuary

Jroseforever · 10/11/2020 06:40

Home

MarcelineMissouri · 10/11/2020 06:47

Yes we are in a similar situation. We had an extension done last year, the builders finished in January and dh is doing pretty much everything internal. The house is still an unfinished tip, some rooms are close but no room is completely finished. It’s driving me mad. COVID has put a lot of pressure on dh job and entire industry he works in so a. He’s struggling to get motivated and b. He’s had to take quite a big paycut so we can’t afford some of the materials right now. As a result things have slowed to snail pace and it is really getting me down. It was particularly hard over first lockdown to be stuck inside such a messy house. I am massively houseproud but am also struggling with being motivated to do housework - what’s the point, it’s not going to make it look any better!!!

theliverpoolone · 10/11/2020 07:07

Me too. Moved in a year ago, every room needed doing. Started upstairs after Christmas, aiming for it all to be done by the summer (getting people in to do it, as walls need replastering, etc) but then lockdown happened, and afterwards it's been impossible to find tradespeople available/willing. So my downstairs is horrendous, and my bedrooms not finished, and I'm heading for my second Christmas living like this.

Its soul destroying (had to work from home during lockdown so couldn't even escape it during the day) and as someone else has said, I do barely any housework downstairs as it looks so grim there seems no point making the effort Sad

user1493413286 · 10/11/2020 07:09

I’m the same with things; I insisted that we buy a house that didn’t need anything doing as when we lived in DHs flat everything was half done and it drove me crazy.

PhilCornwall1 · 10/11/2020 07:11

@weepingwillow22

We have been living with building work for 10 months and that is with getting others in to do it! It is awful getting trades at the moment where we live. We have to wait months for some and many are charging huge rates e.g £700 a day for a carpenter just becuase of the demand.

Getting others in may not be the panacea you expect.

It's taken us all year to get a fitter in for the bathroom. They were all working over the first lockdown around here, but getting one to get back to you was a nightmare. The one we finally got was through word of mouth and he came trumps. In within 6 weeks of first coming around and job done quickly. He's doing pretty much one a week at the moment. He's booked up now for the next 6 months.
PersonaNonGarter · 10/11/2020 07:17

Do you have any money that would allow you to take control of the situation?

It’s hard when your DH wants to do it all himself because you can’t control his time.

Wallywobbles · 10/11/2020 07:18

Year 4 here and nearly there. Outside is another vast project and DH spends even more time doing that. He works at least 40h a week on the house and garden and fields on top of his job. Can't complain and I'm so thankful for every smaller house job he does.

I've been working from home for most of this year and if he could just put the rest of his crap somewhere other than my office.....

BogRollBOGOF · 10/11/2020 07:47

It's very draining. You can't get things feeling clean and neat in that state (and I'm no housekeeper)

This time last year I was constantly painting, painting and repainting. Our house had been extended by a previous owner leaving a very peculiarly shaped and proportioned potential master bedroom. It took 3 years to move walls, knock and fill windows and create a pleasant master bedroom and en-suite. Mostly ourselves other than the windows!

I'm so glad that it was done by Christmas but I was pretty burned out by it then. We also had an overlapping rush job to convert the box room into a functional bedroom for DS1 to move into which involved contructing a floating mid-sleeper bed as the room was too snug to assemble a standard bed frame)

The hall/ landing still have unpainted artex, plasterboard walls and a 3 year old rough, temporary bannister to deal with as an aftermath of the bedroom and DH and I decided in March that we were going to pause on works, particularly with him working from home, and access to shops and supplies being more awkward than usual. There's just no escape from it, and although it's dowdy and dull, it's just not a good time to cope with additional complications such as having to book the tip 2 weeks in advance or drive to the next county!

We've had a leaking roof over the last 15+ months. I was emptying inches of water from the drip pan every other day last winter when it rained incessantly for 9 months. We've just had it done having struggled to get roofers with relentless rain then lockdown, but its been bodged and we've been exploited and it needs starting again again (after initially being built badly before we moved in). DH might be a slow, meticulous perfectionist, but at least it's done properly without nasty, expensive surprises.

vinoelle · 10/11/2020 07:51

If the main structural work has been done (moving walls etc) and it’s just fitting skirting boards/painting/ putting up shelves etc - then why can’t you do it?

I mean that in a good way - learn how, give it a go! I was stuck in a similar way and felt DH wasn’t doing things quickly enough plus I was at home more. It was really scary and overwhelming to start with but I cracked on and now I’m better than he is! You CAN do it!

Ellieboolou33 · 10/11/2020 08:01

Ooooh I haven't read the replies yet but I will!
This is me, last night I actually dreamt about me selling the house and buying and moving into a new one without dh knowing until we had moved.

Ours is so dated and needs new everything, doors, ceilings, floors, bathroom, even bloody architrave and skirtings, a rewire, new plumbing, the list goes on and on and on!

Been here one year though so can't imagine how frustrated you feel!

Ellieboolou33 · 10/11/2020 08:04

@PersonaNonGarter

Do you have any money that would allow you to take control of the situation?

It’s hard when your DH wants to do it all himself because you can’t control his time.

So true! Dh is a tradesman as is my dad and yet I am contemplating taking a loan out to get our electrical works done.
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