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Original poster

So fed up of living in an unfinished house

39 replies

losenotloose · 09/11/2020 22:40

I try to stay positive but every so often I feel overwhelmed with frustration about my house. We've lived here for over 3 years now and there's still so much to do. The problem is that dh is doing all the work himself (which has included knocking down a wall, fitting a new kitchen and bathroom etc) in between working full time. I just want to live in a nice house! Am I being spoilt? I feel like it's understandable to have had enough but dh acts like I'm being a spoilt brat.

OP posts:

Ohalrightthen · 10/11/2020 08:08

@vinoelle

If the main structural work has been done (moving walls etc) and it’s just fitting skirting boards/painting/ putting up shelves etc - then why can’t you do it?

I mean that in a good way - learn how, give it a go! I was stuck in a similar way and felt DH wasn’t doing things quickly enough plus I was at home more. It was really scary and overwhelming to start with but I cracked on and now I’m better than he is! You CAN do it!

THIS

Fitting skirting board isnt hard. The hallway isnt "done" - what needs doing? Strip wallpaper? Not hard. Skim cracks? Not hard. Paint? Not hard. Pull up carpet, sand boards, none of this is hard.

If your DH is doing all of this himself, while working, because there's no money to pay for it, and you're complaining that it isn't happening fast enough, then yes, you're being a bit of a spoilt brat about it. Get your hands dirty!

My husband is currently working hard doing our house. He went away for a lads' weekend, i left the baby with my mum and spent 2 days completely ripping out and redoing the spare room and living room. Never done anything like that before, but it was great fun.

StCharlotte · 10/11/2020 08:09

@vinoelle

If the main structural work has been done (moving walls etc) and it’s just fitting skirting boards/painting/ putting up shelves etc - then why can’t you do it?

I was going to suggest this as well. Imagine how satisfying it would be

CommunistLegoBloc · 10/11/2020 08:26

This is my life. I'm miserable about it and so jealous of people who have finished houses. I can't see an end in sight. I was literally going to leave, stay with parents or friends, and come back when I had a proper bathroom. Then lockdown happened...

MrsMoastyToasty · 10/11/2020 08:30

This is why I get on with it myself (within my capabilities ). I find that if I pick up one of his tools then he soon stirs his stumps.

Heartofstrings · 10/11/2020 08:31

6 years it's taken us and we only have snagging to go. Nearly driven us to the brink of divorce. Plus we've had 3 pregnancies- resulting in 2 boys with a 12m age gap. Husband has started his degree and we were both working with no childcare I really have hated my life at times

WoahHeyThere · 10/11/2020 08:41

We are in the same boat and after 3 years don't have a single room completely done. We have a 6 month old DS2 with no room because it needs plastering including the ceiling, painting, skirting boards, a door hanging etc. Our room is half done, DS1s room is probably the most complete of all the rooms with just skirting board needing to be done.

It's awful, I hate it. I sit here and make lists of all the things that need doing. I wish we had a bottomless pit of money to just pay someone to come in and get it all done in a week or 2. Would be absolutely amazing.

WoahHeyThere · 10/11/2020 08:45

We still have the downstairs toilet tiles piled up in there that we got when we moved in 🤣🤣

DH spent the whole of lockdown 1 doing the garden as the weather was so nice, hoping lockdown 2 will mean indoors gets some bits done inbetween him working! 🤞 One can dream lol.

CommunistLegoBloc · 10/11/2020 08:46

I get so cross because we could pay someone but DP won't cede control. But I am reaching my limit and reading all these things about people being many years down the line isn't helping! We're a year in. I feel like my life is on hold. Covid is obviously now am issue, but we can't have people to stay, I don't want a child and no proper kitchen or bathroom, all our time is geared towards the house and not fun stuff...

RuthTopp · 10/11/2020 08:47

I'm also living your life , 8 years and counting

FlyNow · 10/11/2020 08:53

This is my nightmare OP! I know people who've been renovating as long as I've known them - decades in some cases. It's stressful even visiting their houses, let alone living there.

GOODCAT · 10/11/2020 09:06

We have been in for nearly 6 years. My husband has done the vast majority of the work and he is exhausted.

Now getting in someone to build some wardrobes and do some painting, which we would normally do ourselves, but now had enough. He is just going to add skirting and window sills and bathroom mirror.

Still then need to add soft furnishings like curtains, present ones have holes in and don't have them on every room. Starting to see an end in sight.

Original poster

losenotloose · 10/11/2020 16:16

Thank you all for your replies! It's so good to hear people get it, the whole what's the point in tidying when it still looks like shit! I'm really not a diy person, dh is very competent at it. I actually don't think he'd want me to get involved anyway.

OP posts:

SoloMummy · 10/11/2020 16:29

Are you helping to speed the renovations up?
If not, unless you have specific savings to fund the remainder by a third party I think yabu.

VenusClapTrap · 10/11/2020 16:56

Op you have my sympathy. My entire childhood was like this. Df is a perfectionist and very good at DIY, but moves at glacial speed and never finishes a job before starting a new one. It drove my mother to distraction. He has lived in that house since 1969 and there has never been a time when there haven’t been half finished jobs, piles of paint pots and bits of wood leaning against walls.

I am so happy to have married a man who is terrible at DIY. It’s not something I enjoy either, so we are in complete agreement that we would rather pay someone else to do it. This meant it took six years of saving up to start renovating this house, and we are doing it over three phases, a year at a time. But it means the mess is contained to a section of the house at a time, and when in a work phase the builders/tradespeople turn up every day and progress is clear and relatively fast. The disruption is bearable.

I now have two floors that are completely finished and beautiful, and one floor (the ground floor so the most important! 😖) that is untouched and badly needs doing! We will have been here nine years when the house is finally finished. But this approach works for us.

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