Incidents that made you hurt with laughter

[EvelynBeatrice]

We all need a laugh at the moment. Inspired by the thread about accidentally absconding with someone else’s child, I thought I would beg your funniest stories about times that made you rock with laughter.
My own involves a family holiday with my brother and his children and my father to celebrate my father’s 70th birthday. The children and grandpa had their usual jokes and carry on. One aspect of this involved Papa’s jokey disapproval of the children’s insistence on taking the hotel lift to our third floor rooms. Papa always insisted on running up the stairs to try to race the children and beat the lift, meeting them in the third floor lobby. On one occasion Papa raced ahead of my sister in law and I on the stairs taking two stairs at a time in his rush to the third floor lobby. He arrived panting just in time to see the lift doors open, upon which he leapt in the air, arms akimbo with a loud yell of ‘Yahooo’ - my sister in law and I arrived in time to witness the startled and appalled expressions of the two elderly ladies in the lift gaping at him and clutching their hearts. I’m afraid that we and the children - who were further along the corridor - screamed with laughter as my red faced parent apologised profusely ....

I've got two.

Years ago I was watching a quiz on TV and one of the questions was "which of these songs was by [some singer, I can't remember which one now]?" It was a multiple choice answer. I said out loud, "Well, it's not Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree because that was Glenn Miller." At which point DH, who had been rummaging in the cupboard under the stairs for something, resurfaced and said, "What did you just say? Someone's sitting on the lavatory blowing their brains out?"

And another time I was talking to my dad while my mum was cooking dinner in another room. We were talking about things we might want to do one day, and my dad had just said, "Of course I can't possibly predict how long I've got left" - when my mum walked in and said "Five minutes!" (talking about dinner).

A colleague I used to work with returned from his summer holiday extremely miffed at how crowded the place he went too was. He described it as so crowded that "when the people on the sun loungers next to you farted, you could tell where they'd been for dinner the night before"
It was so nasty but made me laugh till
I cried, his comic delivery was first class too.

My mum was constipated. We were camping with my Aunty and uncle. It was a bit of a joke.

We had a camper van on one field and Aunty was in the caravan field which was much posher. This was the 70s when wine drinking was the pastime of the middle classes only!

Anyway, Aunty had one of those holder things hanging up in the corner of the awning with bits and pieces in it - including toilet paper.

We were all sitting around after lunch when mum trotted off to the toilet. On her return she burst in to the awning, flinging the door open and throwing the toilet roll at the hanger in the corner whilst declaring 'I've been' very loudly.

Only it wasn't our awning.

She threw the toilet roll over the table
Of a very posh family drinking wine - it landed on the floor and unrolled. They sat in silence whilst poor mum had to pick up the roll, apologise and run out.

She's still as daft at 80

Facebook got me suddenly earlier. The local hub and the great firework debate has been raging on all week. Somebody posted a few days ago to warn that she would be setting off some fireworks on the 5th and there were hundreds of replies from both sides arguing back and forth which ended with someone else slightly hysterically saying that local dogs would literally die because this woman was having some fireworks. Somebody posted something very carefully worded earlier and the first reply was deadpan “Dog’s dead now. Thanks a lot.” So silly but given the context and tension I was inexplicably ticked and have cried real tears laughing to myself on and off about it all night.

I have two.

There was the time all of my extended family had a day trip to the beach. The men and kids all started kicking a ball about but my mum and I wanted to start building sandcastles. We were taking it very seriously wanting it to be perfect with a moat and everything. My dad trying to be funny, kicked the ball right at our (fabulous) castle. My mum was so annoyed she shouted ‘for gods sake grow up!’ Then we all dissolved in to laughter as we realised how we were the childish ones making sandcastles. It tickled us for ages.

The time that made me laugh the most though was the time I took my teenage DC to an outdoor adventure place with my DB and SIL. We’d only just got to the outdoor obstacle course when my DB took off and tried to jump a wooden hurdle. It was quite muddy underfoot and he slipped, tripped over a rock, then fell with great force in to a wooden post before landing in the mud. We were shocked in to silence as it looked like he had really hurt himself but quick as a flash he jumped up all embarrassed and said ‘it’s alright I just dropped and rolled’ There was just something about the hilarity of his fall and the way he said what he did that had us all laughing so much we could hardly breathe. There were other families looking at us wondering what the hell had happened as we were all doubled over, crying with laughter. For the entire day my SIL only had to look at me and we dissolved into fits of giggles again. It was made funnier by my brother grumping about saying ‘it wasn’t that funny’

If I ever need cheering up I just remember that day. 🤣🤣

Going to bump this as I agree we need a good laugh @EvelynBeatrice and I love funny stories.

"Like that but cat" about the bloke missing his cat on Facebook has me going every time.
www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/04/17/thread-starts-sad-will-forgiven-glorious-conclusion/

DH was playing hide and seek with our 2 DDs. They were searching and searching but couldn't find him. When they finally came into the living room (where he was crouched behind the tv) they still had no clue, until he generously gave away his hiding place by farting really REALLY loudly. I laughed uncontrollably for about 20 mins and even now years later it still has the same effect whenever I think about it

That made me really laugh!

Like that but cat!

[quote FannysSteadiedBuffs]"Like that but cat" about the bloke missing his cat on Facebook has me going every time.
www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/04/17/thread-starts-sad-will-forgiven-glorious-conclusion/[/quote]
Thanks for sharing that, that is brilliant 😂

There's a ridiculous bit on ceebeebies at lunch where the presenter starts singing and dancing about shapes.

Circles are round and rectangles have four edges, triangles they have three points.....gets stuck in my head all afternoon.

I walked by the downstairs loo and heard dh singing it in his best bad opera voice, then he went, hexagons, nah they are complex little fuckers, let's leave them out of this, I just can't stop laughing. He's out driving his tractor singing about shapes.

I hadn't been with my now dh very long. We had my big ddog and my dc at the park. Dh bent down to do his lace and ddog shoved him. He did a forward roll down the hill. A 20 stone man flailing downwards was quite a sight!!
Same ddog ran up behind ds 20 and took him off his feet - lay winded for what seemed like ages and we were too busy laughing to help him up.
Sadly lost ddog this year-
She filled us with lovely memories..

Like that but cat.
I am CRYING

We were on holiday (remember those?) last year staying in a very nice airbnb apartment. The bed was massive and also very high. I was up early making some tea and heard a massive crash. Yep, OH had turned over in his sleep and fallen out of bed. It still makes me want to cry with laughter every time I think about it.

Very fond memories of my late Dad from my childhood....

I was sitting on the lounge carpet watching Flash Gordon on TV, my mum was doing the ironing. My dad leaned forward and took the packet of sweets from the coffee table & popped one in his mouth.

After what seemed like ages, he said to my mum "these are unusual, where did you get them?".... my mum replied: "the pet shop, they're cat treats". Styling it out, my dad finished it!

We always brought our cat in for the night. One time she was a bit reluctant, so dad went out to the back garden to get her. Only it wasn't my cat! It wasn't even close...I had a small tabby, this was a huge black and white cat. It looked very bemused. You know what my dad said? "Stupid cat!" - erm, it wasn't given a choice .

Many years ago at work, the temp maternity cover secretary sent a company-wide email to introduce herself. Only autocorrect changed her name from Rhiannon to Rhino.

I also remember properly laughing when I first read the 'screamed at the Michaelangelo in the Sistine chappel' thread. I think it's in Classics now.

My DH likes to do that thing where you pretend to walk downstairs. We were in the airport on our way back from holiday and he went to the upstairs Mezzanine level to gets some drinks for our DD’s and as he was walking back he waved to us and did the walking downstairs thing. A whole queue of Germans watched him and applauded. DH bowed and did a royal wave as he walked off. I was laughing so much but my teenagers were mortified which made it even funnier.

We had a reclining sofa. My mum was staying with us and we'd been at the cherry brandy. She tried to push the recliner down to stand up but couldn't.

The more she tried, the more we laughed. What made it even funnier was my 16 year old daughter looking at us completely straight-faced saying "But it's not even funny!"

@KnowlWay

Like that but cat. I am CRYING

See - everytime. From 'does the dead cat answer to Tommo' to 'I can't take a picture because the cat's not here' to the final killer 'like that but cat'

I was on a health kick and had started taking Spirulina, which is a disgusting green powder that you dissolve in water and drink. It was vile. I somehow got it into my head that I'd be able to swallow it down quicker if I put the powder in my mouth and then took a gulp of water to wash it down. I took a spoonful of the powder, which immediately turned into concrete and welded itself to the roof of my mouth. Took a big mouthful of water, which did nothing whatsoever to un-weld it but instead made it expand and start foaming. It was like that scene from The Exorcist, not helped by DH absolutely screaming with laughter (thank goodness this was before the age of phone cameras!) and being no help whatsoever. I could barely breathe and I certainly couldn't swallow, so there was a seemingly endless quantity of disgusting green gunge pouring from me and yet still a huge lump of it cementing my mouth shut. I ended up having to lever it off the roof of my mouth with the handle of a teaspoon.

Ds is a chef. One night they all stayed back and got drunk in the restaurant bar. ..they made videos of themselves going down the stairs drunk on tin trays...
Ds had a nap on a pantry shelf.
Was woken up by a colleague dropping a huge sack of potatoes on him!!
Also caught on video!!
Where is You've Been Framed when you need it?

I was by myself in a hotel room once (away with work) drying my hair. I happened to glance down at my hand that was holding the hairdryer and saw a spider.

I screamed, punched myself in the face with the hairdryer (hurting my forehead and burning my ear in the process) then scuttled backwards. I then banged and scraped the back of my calfs on the bed frame before falling over sideways in a little heap.

I then looked down at the spider which was now on the floor. It was a tangled bit of cotton.

This story never fails to kill me:-

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.cheezburger.com/5522181/guys-twitter-story-about-meeting-the-president-of-ireland-on-ketamine-is-nuts

@spiderlight that's so funny!! I spit my drink out laughing at that

I was hanging out in my very boring town at about 15 with my best mate. The speed camera along the main road was malfunctioning and flashing everyone, which was amusing us as we were watching people’s reactions to getting flashed going through at 27mph. Then (while no cars were coming along) a cyclist went past us at like 5mph and the speed camera flashed the cyclist looked so so confused bless him and subsequently fell off his bike in shock. He was fine but if I ever need to smile I just remember his poor confused face