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Original poster

Incidents that made you hurt with laughter

45 replies

EvelynBeatrice · 05/11/2020 19:32

We all need a laugh at the moment. Inspired by the thread about accidentally absconding with someone else’s child, I thought I would beg your funniest stories about times that made you rock with laughter.
My own involves a family holiday with my brother and his children and my father to celebrate my father’s 70th birthday. The children and grandpa had their usual jokes and carry on. One aspect of this involved Papa’s jokey disapproval of the children’s insistence on taking the hotel lift to our third floor rooms. Papa always insisted on running up the stairs to try to race the children and beat the lift, meeting them in the third floor lobby. On one occasion Papa raced ahead of my sister in law and I on the stairs taking two stairs at a time in his rush to the third floor lobby. He arrived panting just in time to see the lift doors open, upon which he leapt in the air, arms akimbo with a loud yell of ‘Yahooo’ - my sister in law and I arrived in time to witness the startled and appalled expressions of the two elderly ladies in the lift gaping at him and clutching their hearts. I’m afraid that we and the children - who were further along the corridor - screamed with laughter as my red faced parent apologised profusely ....

OP posts:

TheDizzyRascal · 06/11/2020 14:13

Excellent thread! Mine happened a couple of weeks ago - my son (9) was eating some salted peanuts but when I looked at him he seemed to be putting nuts back IN to the bowl, asked what he was doing and he said he didn't like to swallow them, so he sucked the salt off and put the nuts back in the dish. (I know, terrible, I stopped him etc) but there was already quite a few back in the dish. Couple of hours later husband comes in from work, watching telly, he's nibbling on some peanuts from a dish...... you can guess the rest. I couldn't tell him what was wrong from laughing/crying/struggling to breathe.... he said they tasted "a bit bland"

PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe · 06/11/2020 14:13

@spiderlight

I was on a health kick and had started taking Spirulina, which is a disgusting green powder that you dissolve in water and drink. It was vile. I somehow got it into my head that I'd be able to swallow it down quicker if I put the powder in my mouth and then took a gulp of water to wash it down. I took a spoonful of the powder, which immediately turned into concrete and welded itself to the roof of my mouth. Took a big mouthful of water, which did nothing whatsoever to un-weld it but instead made it expand and start foaming. It was like that scene from The Exorcist, not helped by DH absolutely screaming with laughter (thank goodness this was before the age of phone cameras!) and being no help whatsoever. I could barely breathe and I certainly couldn't swallow, so there was a seemingly endless quantity of disgusting green gunge pouring from me and yet still a huge lump of it cementing my mouth shut. I ended up having to lever it off the roof of my mouth with the handle of a teaspoon.

I shall be reading this one to my mum later. Made we wee a bit.

likethatbutcat · 06/11/2020 14:14

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

That's bloody hilarious - thank you!

Shinyletsbebadguys · 06/11/2020 14:20

A few years ago ds2 was still in nappies. He was in the next room just following DP as I called them all into eat and he seemed to follow DP out of the living room.

Ds1, DP and I had all sat down and I just started to say "What's taking ds2 so long he was right behind you?" When he jumped into the doorway having removed his nappy (which he had never done before or after) in a sumo stance and yelled "PEEPEEEEEEE" , the look of total stunned confusion on all three of our faces was in retrospect hilarious and still makes me laugh.

Then DP and I clicked that he was sans nappy racing around the flat and that it wouldn't end well so fell over each other dashing to catch him and I looked back and poor old 5 year old ds1 was literally face palming

FusionChefGeoff · 06/11/2020 14:21

We were on holiday in Newquay with SIL and BIL before kids. It was boiling so beach day agreed but wanted to pop into town first. Packed stuff up and DH proudly and excitedly announced he'd found a lounger in the cupboard and was going to take it.

It was in a carry bag thing but looked pretty bulky so we said are you sure etc. No, he was not to be swayed.

Off we marched in sweltering heat into town, it was busy and we kept laughing at DH sweating with this bloody lounger but he was smug back "just you wait till I'm relaxing on my luxury lounger and you lot are skimming it and getting all sandy etc etc". Really hamming it up.

So we FINALLY get to the beach and he lugs it the last 300 yards or whatever to the perfect spot. Still lots of banter about how he can finally enjoy his reward etc.

However, as he started to unpack and assemble his precious 'lounger' it became immediately apparent that it was, in fact, a travel cot

SIL and I were in uncontrollable hysterics that went on far too long. Then the next family over realised what had happened so they started laughing too which just made us go even harder.

DH chucked it on the floor and stomped off to the hire place shouting "I'm going to get a lounger and none of you bastards are allowed anywhere near it"

Funniest. Day. Ever.

And still the words 'travel cot' are enough to render SIL and I absolutely insensible.

Completely outing so if you read this Katy I love you

sunshineandshowers21 · 06/11/2020 14:21

on one of our first dates me and my boyfriend were in town and i slipped over in the middle of a road whilst crossing. it was a really busy road and it was late night shopping for christmas so there was people everywhere. i was so embarrassed that i just lay in the road not moving. the lights turned to green and i just lay sprawled in the road. people surrounded me and someone came running out of a cafe with one of those silver foil blankets and a medical kit. my poor boyfriend was kneeling next to to holding my hand like i was dying. it was only when someone said they were ringing an ambulance that i made a miraculous recovery and leaped up. i had to (fake) limp out of the road whilst holding my hip so that i didn’t look like an idiot. nearly 15 years later and my boyfriend still cries with laughter every time anyone mentions it.

LemonBreeland · 06/11/2020 14:24

[quote FannysSteadiedBuffs]"Like that but cat" about the bloke missing his cat on Facebook has me going every time.
www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/04/17/thread-starts-sad-will-forgiven-glorious-conclusion/[/quote]
I have tears running down my face at this . Unbelievable!!

spiderlight · 06/11/2020 14:24

@FusionChefGeoff that's classic!!

PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe · 06/11/2020 14:26

@FusionChefGeoff

It was in a carry bag thing but looked pretty bulky so we said are you sure etc. No, he was not to be swayed.

So we FINALLY get to the beach and he lugs it the last 300 yards or whatever to the perfect spot. Still lots of banter about how he can finally enjoy his reward etc.

However, as he started to unpack and assemble his precious 'lounger' it became immediately apparent that it was, in fact, a travel cot

SIL and I were in uncontrollable hysterics that went on far too long. Then the next family over realised what had happened so they started laughing too which just made us go even harder.

DH chucked it on the floor and stomped off to the hire place shouting "I'm going to get a lounger and none of you bastards are allowed anywhere near it"

Funniest. Day. Ever.

And still the words 'travel cot' are enough to render SIL and I absolutely insensible.

Completely outing so if you read this Katy I love you

Another gem 😂😂😂😂😂

OverThinkingUnderDoing · 06/11/2020 14:29

I still cry with laughter remembering this. My sister had driven home for Christmas from uni one year when it was very snowy. She was at uni up north and as our hometown was in South Devon she hadn’t experienced much snow.

She got home and my mum was fussing about the drive - saying she shouldn’t have driven in the snow etc and that she’d seen in the paper that somewhere in the town dsis was at uni in there was so much snow someone had built an igloo in the middle of the road.

Dsis pipes up with ‘I saw that too, it looked awesome! I also went down one road where all along one side of it some people had made these fantastic snow sculptures of cars! They were really detailed and they all had proper wheel arches, were the actual size of cars........’ then she starts laughing hysterically as she realises that she’d just seen a road with cars parked along in covered in snow. She’d been so excited to tell us and it was only after driving for hours thinking about it and actually saying it out loud that she realised what it was

sunshineandshowers21 · 06/11/2020 14:32

also once a car pulled up beside me and my sister asking for directions so my sister leaned in towards the window and the three lads inside shot her with water pistols. the look of shock on her face was amazing! it was even funnier when she took off her flip flop and launched it at the car as it drove off.

toiletpaper · 06/11/2020 14:40

A good 8 years ago I was at the royal welsh show with my ex and I saw a guy who was performing there who was a client at my old job and I'd said hello and exchanged pleasentries with him. I'd seen his land rovers number plate that morning which was new and I mentioned to ex that the guy must be doing well. Later in the day he had a trailer attached to his Land Rover and I commented that 'wow even his trailer is new'. Ex had to point out that his number plate would be the same on his Land Rover as his trailer! It makes me laugh every time I think about it and I have many 'blonde' stories like this

WingBingo · 06/11/2020 14:41

@FusionChefGeoff that is brilliant.

I keep picturing the travel cot making it’s appearance

OverThinkingUnderDoing · 06/11/2020 14:44

I forgot about the time I saw my mum running along Paignton seafront on a very windy day and being chased by an industrial sized wheelie bin opening and closing its lid as it went and looking just like Pac-Man. If I had the sense to film it instead of crying with laughter it would definitely have been a viral video.

Coffeecak3 · 06/11/2020 15:38

One day at work our manager got up from his swivel chair, caught his foot on the base and did a half turn across the room before saving himself.
Without batting an eye lid my colleague called out Seven!!
Everyone burst out laughing.
It still makes me smile when I think of it.

FusionChefGeoff · 06/11/2020 15:38

I've just told DH how much everyone is enjoying his story and he's faux stomped upstairs with a "Fuck mumsnet" as I'm cackling away down here

sueelleker · 06/11/2020 17:08

@PiggyPlumPie. Like Margo in "The Good Life". But why is it funny?

Graphista · 06/11/2020 17:30

@spiderlight I've done stuff very similar to that as has dd - hilarious but can be quite scary/annoying at the time

immediately apparent that it was, in fact, a travel cot brilliant!

I can't think of any right now will try to later

Lostatsea10 · 06/11/2020 17:38

I work in an FE college. About 5 years ago we were incredibly short staffed for the last month of term and we were lent a Sport NQT as supply for the month to do displays, be a general TA, role play assessments and all the other things we couldn’t do etc as there were 2 of us covering 6 classes. Anyway, we were chatting in the office one morning and the department Programme Leader was asking NQT to do a few tasks that morning. One of them was to make the walls look nicer as we were in old empty offices at that time as we had no classrooms so the classrooms were thin office walls. She meant displays etc. She kept telling NQT (he was a 23 year old PE teacher for context) to ‘jizz up the walls’. She must have repeated it about 15 times before I had to walk out the room and she realised what she had been saying instead of jazz. I can still hear her saying it and the look on his face and it still reduces me to tears when I think of it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/11/2020 17:46

Lots of things but They wouldn’t be funny written down

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