NC for this as I think it could be outing.
My DD is 13 years old. About a year ago she started changing in mood, what she wanted to wear etc, all very normal and expected. Then she started talking about gender, sexuality, etc. It transpired that she felt she's gay, no issues with that. She formed close friendships with others in school who felt similarly.
In the past few weeks DD has started wearing all black and applying very thick black eyeliner. Initially I though she just didn't know how to apply make up so I offered to do her make up, she agreed and then washed it straight away and applied the thick eyeliner again.
A couple of days ago her friends came for a sleepover. I hadn't seen them for 18 months and I wouldn't have recognised them in a million years. Two of them now identify as male. They've gone from having very blonde long hair to having shaggy short died black hair, wearing all black, ripped tights, very high platform over the knee boots, and strong black make up.
I don't mean to be insensitive but I genuinely believed initially that they were dressed up for halloween. Then the penny dropped. My own DD has been hinting at wanting to die her hair black and cut it short, having platform boots, etc.
I would appreciate some tips as to how to navigate this. On the one hand I do appreciate that it's almost text book adolescent development. On the other, well, I just don't like the idea of my DD looking like that. Not sure it matters but she's a year younger than the others, as they're all 14 yo whilst my own DD won't be 14 until the end of august. I realise now how influenced she is by these friends and that's where her new tastes in music, movies, clothes, etc comes from.
Do I just ignore it, let it be and hope it's a phase? Do I support it and if so how? Do I object?
I'd appreciate tips and advice but be kind, she's my first soon to be teenager.