What would you do? Toddler needing to be around other kids?

[JustWondering83]

We have an expensive 12 months coming up with buying a house, getting married etc. At the moment I work my partners days off to avoid paying for childcare. We get no time as a family, every time we need a day to sort something for the house or wedding we have to take annual leave. My biggest worry is our toddler has spent well over half his life in lockdowns and doesn't get the chance to be around other kids at all, and other adults rarely. Baby groups, play dates, none of it has happened. I want to put him in childcare one day a week, so that he gets a chance to get used to other people and so that we get one day a week the three of us rather than me working everyday my partner doesn't. It'll cost us about £130 per month. It's not a huge amount, but my partner is arguing it shouldn't be a priority until after the house/wedding as we can put more money towards the two. I think it is a priority, to be honest.

What would you do?

How old is your child?

@MaidenMotherCrone

How old is your child?

He would be starting in January and would be 18 months at the time

I would put him in nursery, it's not an enormous amount of money and the socialisation is important.

I think you're right. Your child's wellbeing and development is way more important that a wedding.

Exactly my logic. He's saying a few more months won't do him any harm and that toddlers are more self focused and don't need anyone other than their parents. I completely disagree what toddler his age would of never gone to a baby group or seen his cousins. It's not been the first year I had planned for him at all and I worry the impact it could have on his development.

My DD has always gone to nursery from 11 months. However, I’d say she really started enjoying it age 2.

I think either way will be fine. If you do it, 2 half days may be better? Settling in may be a bit tricky otherwise.

I agree with you - my son is 2.3 and just started nursery 5 mornings a week in sept, after spending March to August in lockdown. Best decision we’ve made - he’s much more confident and sociaable now with other kids and other adults.

However, it doesn’t have to be nursery - if you prefer/it’s cheaper, you could do toddler classes with him (I know a lot are cancelled, but some where we are are running), or if you have friends/family members with similar age kids then arrange lots of play dates outside (Covid rules dependent). However nursery if probably simpler and easier - be aware that only 1 day pw may make it tricky for him to settle, but he’ll get there!

I think nursery is great and both of mine have gone from 9-11 months. But I don't think there's a whole lot of benefit to putting them in one day a week and it's very difficult to get them to settle in there when they have so little time. I really don't think it will do him any harm to be home, but I think if you truly need to save money, I'd aim to start at 2. At 18 months, they really don't play with others and won't be missing out on the socialisation. But if you can plan ahead to change life around when he is 2 ish, that is a good goal to have if you want. It means you can bank that money for a few more months.

He’s little enough for it not to matter just yet, I think, but work it in to your financial planning by age 2. I think I’m with your partner on this one if things are stretched.

I wouldn’t worry about nursery at all until he turns 2. Until then children don’t really play interactively with other children. If you do lots of ‘real life’ stuff with him and provide him with experiences he won’t be developmentally disadvantaged.
I work in early years, so feel that I can comment with some confidence.
I’d put his name down for September 2021.

I also meant to say, please try to avoid one day a week, two half days would be better to help him to settle and thrive at nursery. A week between sessions is a very long time for a toddler, and will mean a readjustment each session. Toddlers are very fond of routine!

Even if we wait we can only afford one day a week, I only work 2 days a week at the moment and earn a pittance. We can't do two half days as it won't fit in around our jobs. Will it really be that bad?

A. Lot of the nurseries that we viewed for dd won't accept anything less than 2 different days per week die to settling concerns. They don't have 2 be full 2 days, but you can't just have 1 full day as it's too confusing for the little ones.

We've found somewhere that will take him one day a week from January onwards. They were fine about it, said it could take a bit longer to settle but ultimately would work out fine

Definitely do it, 0-2 is an absolutely crucial time of rapidly developing neural pathways in the brain that will determine the rest of a child's life, and we develop in relation to other people. I'd say it's the most important thing you could do with your money providing they are going to somewhere that feels emotionally safe and comfortable.

I'd do it. I'm a SAHM have mine on a waiting list because there's no sign of any groups starting again. I agree they need time around other children

I would! And settling at that age is easier than when slightly older.

DD1 is in reception and DD2 (2.5yo) is itching to go to school!!!

I agree with PPs, one day a week won't do much... but 5 days a week we can't afford.... she'll have to wait. before Covid I used to go everyday to playgroups. It's such a sad time

I thought one day a week would make atleast a bit of difference. Feel a bit defeated now to be honest. We can't afford anything more. It's that or nothing until I find a new job with more hours.

Do it. Absolutely do it.

I would prioritise that spend over the wedding to be honest.

One day a week is fine!! My eldest did 1.5 days a week and nursery were fine with it. Did them the world of good!!

One day a week is plenty at that age!! A whole 9 hours of playing and being around others is great. My 4 year old only does 15 hours a week at a preschool. That’s only 6 hours more a week and he’s 4.

Could you do two half days? It might be easier for him to settle and get to know the other kids.

Personally I wouldn’t. They just need to be around engaging people who love them at that age. It doesn’t have to be a bunch of same age toddlers.

Any my youngest who is 20 months does 2 Mornings a week so that’s similar timings to one full day.