What would you do? Toddler needing to be around other kids?

[JustWondering83]

We have an expensive 12 months coming up with buying a house, getting married etc. At the moment I work my partners days off to avoid paying for childcare. We get no time as a family, every time we need a day to sort something for the house or wedding we have to take annual leave. My biggest worry is our toddler has spent well over half his life in lockdowns and doesn't get the chance to be around other kids at all, and other adults rarely. Baby groups, play dates, none of it has happened. I want to put him in childcare one day a week, so that he gets a chance to get used to other people and so that we get one day a week the three of us rather than me working everyday my partner doesn't. It'll cost us about £130 per month. It's not a huge amount, but my partner is arguing it shouldn't be a priority until after the house/wedding as we can put more money towards the two. I think it is a priority, to be honest.

What would you do?

For what it's worth I know some toddlers that just do a morning or two a week and seem to settle in OK.

No neither of us can get a half day at work it's just the one full day. If I can get more hours he can go for two but on my current wage it's not really doable

Both of mine did one day a week 8-5 at nursery as we were both shift workers and that's how we managed childcare. They both started at 12 months and went for about 18 months before we moved to a childminder because of work. It's not ideal and it obviously took a fair few weeks of settling in but they enjoyed it in the end. We never did any toddler groups even without Covid as I wasn't really interested, so that was their only child socialisation, except for seeing cousins on an occasional weekend.

I think I would do it. My LG has been at the childminder since 10 months, she's almost 2. We are due baby 2 any day so I could keep her at home but for her own socialisation and development she will continue some time with the childminder. It's very hard when there's no playgroups happening xx

do you have any pre school playgroups near you ? they generally are cheaper as offer shorter sessions eg 9-12 then he could do 2 half days...- have a look at your council website they should have info or a phone line that can help..
or can you increase hours so he can do 2 days
if your earnings are low can you get free 2yr old funding? or have you investigated the tax free childcare option for funding?
as 1 day is trickier to settle... but I think your instincts are right that he is getting to teh age to benefot from more socialising

One day a week is tough, but doable if it’s the only option. But not only is the settling tough on one day a week... you’ll find they are bringing home a different illness all the time and they will be exposed enough to make them sick but not be there enough to quickly build immunity... and with Covid tests for every temperature it may end up being a bit of a nightmare.

Do you have swimming or something local that is open?

A full day will be absolutely fine. I think you are right, I think your toddler will benefit from it, and it sounds like a good use of your money.

If the one day thing doesn't work out because they don't settle then you can always reconsider. Don't stress about it now, might not even happen

I don't think there's a lot of evidence that dc benefit from being with other kids until they are around 3. I think you've got a while before you need to worry about it.

Yup @SWLondonTown has it.

So I did this with Dd last year. A Friday in nursery. Started September, same age as yours, I have not sent her back post covid lockdown.

What happened was she went on a Friday, and three out of four weeks got something. Chest infections, norovirus, scarlet fever, tonsillitis, conjunctivitis so on so on. It got progressively worse by Christmas and I think January and Feb she managed to go once. She still had a cough in April from the last bout of sickness.

I found it incredibly tough. The benefits did not outweigh the bugs for me.

I would wait until Easter tbh
Hopefully there will be less chance of disruption because of the weather warming up and vaccines starting to roll out so fewer staff catching CV
Hopefully there will be groups etc running again too

I was also going to suggest a preschool.

It's tough, I know what you are going through now as my partner and I are going through the same! I work full-time Monday to Friday and he works Friday-Sunday. Our DD goes to nursery on the Friday. We are doing it to save a deposit.

It's a childminder that we've found. I don't want him to be unhappy there's just no budget yet for two days.

I put my girls in our local charity run preschool. They would only accept a minimum of 2 sessions a week, to start with my eldest did 9-11:30 then quickly went up to 9-12:30 twice a week. It was brilliant for both of them, I think it worked out as around £400 a term until they got their free hours.

I used a voucher salary sacrifice scheme so I think I used to pay £100 a month straight out of my wages so in my head I never had the money in the first place.

I’m a childminder and have had several children just do one day a week - yes it can take longer to settle but they do.

OP are you signed up for tax free childcare too? That saves 20%.

Wouldn't worry about it only being a day a week. DD has been going to a childminder 1 day a week since end of lockdown when she was about 18 months for the same reasons. She loved it straight away and gets excited waiting for them to collect her. Nothing else at all open here, no playgroups or paid activities since March, playgrounds only reopened a few weeks ago and now soft play shut too. Don't know anyone with similar aged kids so we didn't feel like there was any option. This has all been so rubbish for toddlers.

They settle quicker with a childminder than a nursery too.

My youngest is 18 months and started nursery in September for 1 day a week, he is much happier, starts 2 full days in November.
It has done wonders for him, and me. No classes, groups or swimming were running and are not going to be for the foreseeable future.

It has done him the world of good and would prioritise that spend that over a wedding.

If money is tight, I don’t think it’s a priority either. I honestly think the priority is for you to work more hours and then pay for childcare to facilitate that.

If money is tight, I’d forgo the days childcare and wedding and go to a toddler group instead and have a quick registry office ceremony. Far better to use the money for savings and on your own home. Toddlers just need interaction, it does haven’t to be from their own age group as they still just parallel play at that point.