Take a Break style story

[DryRoastPeanut]

I’ll start, then can you please follow on.

It was a rare night out. Mum had offered to babysit and it was the first time I’d left twins Kylie and Krusty since their dad had left us.
As I applied my lipstick I sighed, was a late night and a hangover going to be worth my trouble? After all everyone at the local pub knew I was an unmarried mum. The Shellsuit and Perm was a great place and had been my teenage haunt up until I married Dodgy Dave 14 months ago.
Everyone said we were far too young, but at 17 we thought we knew it all.....

You are really good at this you lot - hysterical. Really cheered me up!

You never know I might contribute something later although not sure I could beat ReallySpicyCurry's contribution. So funny

@coronasharona

I've reported this thread. Nasty, lazy stereotyping.

But it got really depressing every time our judgemental neighbour kept seeing me out with my 7 children, Kylie, Krusty, Chanel, Louis-Vuitton, Rolex, Dolce, Gabanna and now my little Alien, Chewbacca. (Who had inherited his dads gorgeous flowing locks of hair)...

Well Mandy’s Nan had always been a bit psychic and she kept telling Mandy to buy a lottery ticket, that one day it would her lucky day, so we all decided to buy one together, pay for a line each like a proper syndicate. The night of the draw came, we all went to Mandy's flat, of course we ended up have a few cheeky lambrinis and the air was getting a bit sensual. Dave broke the tension by putting the telly on, it was the lotto draw...

But my mum Val cheered me up by offering to babysit with Phil While I went out with the girls for a curry 'n' swill night.

cranberry illustrating my point nicely

@coronasharona

cranberry illustrating my point nicely

Meh. I aim to please.

Mandy had hold of the ticket and said we hadn't won then screwed it up and put it on her pocket. I didn't think anything of it until I saw her with a new Chanel handbag the next week and she was really cagey with me about it

She said she had got it from knock off Steve's down the market but I was suspicious....

I suddenly remembered my numbers were nan's birthday, my fave at the Chinese and Dave's shoe and penis size... hang on a minute...that was MY line that had come up! I should be a millionaire not clearing up after Dave and the kids...

cranberry I don't see how this sort of punching down is particularly pleasing. Take a Break itself is problematic in its exploitation of people, particularly women, who are often clearly vulnerable and their stories are served up as entertainment for others to laugh at. This thread reinforces the idea that it's ok to do that.

"I'll pop round and have a chat with Mandy. Don't worry, love, I'm sure its all a misunderstanding," said Dave with a cheeky twinkle in his eye. He picked up his carpet fitting bag and gave me a wave as he headed out the door of our three bed semi. I put the kids to bed and snuggled down on the sofa in my tatty old dressing gown to watch some television. Hang about, I thought, Dave's been gone for hours!...

And he never came back.

Two weeks later Sharon from the chippy told me she'd seen them buying a new house on the posh new estate

But a few weeks later on a rare night out I bumped into Phill the cab driver we consoled. ourselves over a few Bacardi and cokes in time we fell in love....

One morning I woke up and felt that familiar sensation in my stomach. Could it be...? Later that day I surprised Phil in his allotment where he was tending to his prize marrows. Patting my stomach, I nodded at the veg "they're not the only things that are growing". Phil was over the moon and our impending arrival brought out his tender side "our little carrot" he murmured, putting my seven week bump.

*patting

Great thinking and writing ladies, Very amusing. I am an oldie, and used to read TAB years ago, when it first came out, then I got my late Mum into it as well. I like writing myself, and sometimes write like this about modern life. It's good to write some way out stuff at times, that usually has some truths between the lines.

Time passed.

Late one night I gasped ‘Phil! The baby’s coming!’ Phil didn’t hesitate - he grabbed the keys to the fiesta and we rushed off into the night. By the time we got to hospital I was struggling. ‘The baby Phil!’ I whimpered as I fought the urge to push. I couldn’t hold it any more. Imagine my surprise when our little carrot was followed by another two carrots! Triplets! ‘They’ll keep us busy!’ chuckled Phil with a twinkle in his eye.

Headline: My baby was born with six arms and legs!

@Pumperthepumper

Time passed.

Late one night I gasped ‘Phil! The baby’s coming!’ Phil didn’t hesitate - he grabbed the keys to the fiesta and we rushed off into the night. By the time we got to hospital I was struggling. ‘The baby Phil!’ I whimpered as I fought the urge to push. I couldn’t hold it any more. Imagine my surprise when our little carrot was followed by another two carrots! Triplets! ‘They’ll keep us busy!’ chuckled Phil with a twinkle in his eye.

Headline: My baby was born with six arms and legs!

That's bang on tbf.

We named our triplets Chardonnay, Chico and Tia-Maria. Now having 10 children in the house it was becoming quite a squeeze. We started looking for a bigger house. I went to see a property on Bradford Road. It had 5 bedrooms and everything we needed for our growing brood. I gushed to Phil about that evening "it's beautiful" I told him. "We'll be so happy"

But Phil looked sheepish and uninterested. What was he upto?

"We can't love. I spent the deposit money on a holiday for me and Cynthia" he looked at me with a smirk on his face

"CYNTHIA!" He was cheating on me again! The RAT!

I broke down in tears on the kitchen floor and cried until my eyes bled. I told Phil to get out and never come back

I had no choice but to take up work for a a telephone sex line. You see, I was a single mother with 10 kids to feed. I decided as all men were rats I might as well make some money. It was a night in November 2 days later after the kids were in bed. The phone rang whilst I was ironing the school uniforms. 'My name is Craig' said the voice at the other end 'tell me about your slippers'. There was something about his voice, I knew instantly he was not like other men.

Time went on and soon, Craig was calling me every day. We’d have a giggle and I felt the familiar stirrings in my undercrackers. I’d heard that Phil had moved on, and, in time, Craig said what I’d been hoping for all along. ‘Fancy a Korma?’

Time passed and Craig met all my friends - they all really liked him.

One of them even told me they thought he looks a bit like my brother.

I was nervous, I was 25 now with 10 kids. It had been a long time but my friend Neveah was supportive. 'Go for it love- I will look after the kids'. So after giving the kids some nuggets and chips for tea I left my house on Bradford road and headed off to the Happy Chappy Indian and Kebab house. I was nervous but knew I looked good. Neveah had done my make up whilst we shared a bottle of lambrini giggling about my night ahead. I was wearing a classy sequined too I bought from the market. I got to the restaurant and rearranged my boobs in the low slung top before pushing open the doors. Then I saw Craig. He was the handsome hunk from the fishmongers I used to go to for my gran when I was 14! I felt a familiar feeling in my tummy.

@coronasharona

I've reported this thread. Nasty, lazy stereotyping.

Have you actually read Take a Break @coronasharona ?

@coronasharona

cranberry I don't see how this sort of punching down is particularly pleasing. Take a Break itself is problematic in its exploitation of people, particularly women, who are often clearly vulnerable and their stories are served up as entertainment for others to laugh at. This thread reinforces the idea that it's ok to do that.

Ok I do get your point