Messy house. If you've overcome yours..

[Nefbachmorf]

and have kept it clean and relatively tidy for longer than two months, please come and talk to me. Tell me how you did it.

Tried Flylady years ago, didn't work for me.
Have dabbled with TOMM and would consider giving it another try.

Im just going round in circles not knowing what to do first or how to establish good habits. (I do find being tidy and getting organised a big challenge).

Did mine last year, though I still have stuff crammed away in cupboards to sort though.

My mum helped me with mine and we were ruthless in getting rid of stuff. Any bag or box that hadn't been looked in for a year went in the bin as it was (If I'd done without it for a year, I clearly didn't need it)

I also redecorated when it was clean which made me want to keep it nice. Having vinyl installed for all the downstairs floors helped with cutting down cleaning time.

I won't say my house is immaculate because of my ongoing lack of storage and the lack of funds to sort it but it's a million times better than it used to be and I can have visitors again

Yes I think new builds in particular are TERRIBLE for lacking downstairs storage for things like sports equipment, footballs, tennis rackets, wrapping paper, reusable shopping bags, wellies, umbrellas, even the hoover and ironing board sometimes doesn't have a proper home or has to be shoved in the downstairs toilet cupboard if under the stairs.

My issue is suitcases and holdalls etc. Currently shoved under the kids' beds with spare duvets in, but I want to get different beds which don't seem to give clearance for things like suitcases. DH has holdalls shoved on top of his wardrobe but that really ruins the look of the room when you have clutter on top of wardrobes I think.

I'm doing the kitchen at present, one cupboard at a time.

My DP has hoarding tendencies, but there are not so many things in the kitchen that could be considered sentimental, so it was an easier place to start.

I empty a cupboard & clean the shelves. Broken stuff goes in the bin, outdated food goes in there food waste.

I decide what should go back in the cupboard and put it away, then put the rest on the table for him to look over (he hates the idea that I will throw away "his" stuff) and he opts to keep around 1/5th, 1/4, and that goes back in the cupboard.

So far, it is working for us. But, early days

You just have to keep on top of it. Do something every day and don't let it get to the stage where it's so overwhelming that you don't know where to start. Thirty minutes a day is also far more achievable than several hours on a Saturday.

So for example, I do the following daily - vacuum, sweep floors, dishes and kitchen surfaces, anything pet related (litter trays, cleaning bowls) and make the bed each morning. Then, everything else is done on a rota.

So, for example, the bathroom is cleaned twice a week - so sink, toilet and bath get sprayed over and cleaned. Mirrors and glass wiped down. Floor steam mopped. And once a week, the towels get bunged in the wash. Because I do it regularly, it doesn't get a chance to get grotty so it only takes me 10-15 minutes each time.

Washing gets done on set days, too. So Monday = towels. Thursday night and Friday morning = dog blankets. Saturday = bedding. Then clothes just get done "as and when" on other days. I often put a load in before bed and it's dry by morning (we have a washer dryer). Or before I go to work and it's done by the time I get home.

Food shop comes on the same day each week, so the day before I check what we we need and spend 15-20 minutes doing that and chucking away anything out of date.

I'm well aware that it sounds fucking boring as hell but it means it never gets on top of me and it maximises my down time too. Ultimately, I'm very lazy and don't actually spend much time on housework - but as I don't like living in a mess, I've found a way to get it all done as quickly as possible

@BitGutted

My house is a bombsite, we have stuff everywhere and it's become a bit overwhelming to be honest. I need to try to sort it out it's getting us all down but we have serious lack of storage and cannot afford to buy more furniture and storage we desperately need just now.

I'm totally dreading Christmas the thought of more junk makes me feel physically sick 🤢

Can you have a bug declutter?

Charity shops/Facebook/local pages etc there's usually furniture going free or dead cheap. Chalk paint (I use Annie Sloan, but other brands are available!) go straight on, no fussing/sanding/undercoating

I've always struggled to keep my room and now the house tidy. I suspect I am in the spectrum and it feels like a mountain to climb!

What has worked us decluttering and decluttering again. The other half chipping in a bit more (he is now solely responsible for the upstairs bathroom. I do not clean it, even if it has been a month since he last did it as the point needs to be hammered home to him). He now will also do the dishwasher 2-3 times a week. Then I loosely follow TOMM.

The kids and I do a 'ten minute tidy' every day together. Plus banning the kids from bringing any toys downstairs as they were not clearing up after themselves.

@Coronacockup

Causes many rows in our house too! Dh does not seem to see the mess he is a massive hoarder we have so much clutter it's unreal.I have to do all the cleaning/cooking dh is useless with any of it. We have 3 children and I just can't seem to combat the mess they make!! So I'm following with interest.

Your solution is simple really. Send DH (& his hoard) to live else where!! IF he's a genuine hoarder, he needs professional help, if he's just a messy twat that won't throw shit out or tidy up then he needs telling.

You need somewhere to put it all.
. Ikea is your best friend's, draw tidy compartments are sent from heaven.
So much easier too tidy with somewhere to put what's in your hand

@BitGutted

I think I'm close to my partner phoning up and getting me on channel 4's extreme hoarders it's just totally ridiculous

I have drawers full of junk that we just don't need anymore and boxes and bags and clothes nobody wears and it's all piled up everywhere

I never invite anyone round I'd be too embarrassed to be honest and desperate to get it sorted before Christmas now x

What's stopping you?

I mean that in the nicest possible way. What is holding you back? Are you struggling for cash & want to sell it? Are you sentimentally attached to stuff? I think you need to understand what is holding you back before you can move forward.

Wanting to do it is a giid start though! Lots if actual hoarders don't 'see' the stuff or don't see the need to get rid of stuff.

Little and often but also I read somewhere that things that don’t have an obvious ‘home’ tend to become clutter. We decluttered then tried to find a place for everything with boxes and labels etc . Cleaning became less hassle when there was less stuff to move around. DH now takes DC out to the park for an afternoon weekly while I do things like mop floors and scrub shower screens . I take little breaks away from my desk while WFH to put laundry away. It drives me insane looking at clutter and dirt while trying to work from home

All "stuff" needs a place (toys = toy box, clothes= wardrobe, kitchen gadgets= kitchen cupboard...)

If you don't have a fixed place for an item, you can
a) create one or
b) ditch it.

For ditching/ de cluttering use the "use it" method, if you haven't used something in the last 6-12 months you don't need it = ditch it!

I would also recommend to do this cupboard by cupboard, drawer by drawer... in other words little chunks rather than one overwhelming project. In time your home will be tidy!

Then establish a tidy/ cleaning routine... every evening toys ect need to be in toy box so you can hoover... DC can help with this!
Have a cleaning / tidy day once a week. At Ylva House everyone has little jobs and we are usually done witin a few hours!

Give yourself time to get established, reward yourself once little chunks are done... and be disciplined with yourself. (I know that is the hardest part but if you enjoy a tidy/ clean home you soon get the hang of it!)

I have made a start.... (Jesus woman, you only have one room!!!). You can see the carpet now! I still have loads of stuff to throw away. I will look through my clothes mountain and chuck what has shrunk/lost colour/no longer desirable etc etc. I may need a lie down.....

Shove the crap in drawers, close drawers. Easy peasy. I hoover every other day as I've got cats but polish 😂😂😂😂😂😂 and I have black furniture 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just do a bit every day. Clear up after meals, wipe the kitchen down and keep the bathroom clean and get the kids to put their clothes/ toys away. That way floors are clear to hoover when you get a chance. I find good storage helps. If there's a place for everything it's much simpler. I used to clean really well once a week. That didn't work for me. It's needs to be little and often.

@Nefbachmorf

Getting rid of stuff & everything left having a specific place, really is the only way. Which also means NOT buying something unless you know where it's going to live.

If things are too difficult to put away, you won't, you'll put them in too/beside where they need to go, or just 'down' somewhere else.

So get rid of as much as you can then get suitable storage for what you do have and move it, change it, until it works. I know I need pull out storage because stackable storage is too much of a faff and I put stuff on top of the stack rather than lift stuff off to get to the correct box or whatever. I'll get less storage in pull out than stackable, but it's more use!

You need to find a system that works for you & your belongings.

Don't expect too much of yourself all in one go. For example, if you have loads of shoes in the hallway/behind the front door & your 'ideal' is that they're all on shoe racks in everyone's bedroom, find a mid point you're happy with, that's doable! A shoe rack or boxes in the hallway. So yeah, it's not perfect, but it's a good start. Get rid of any that aren't used. Move the 'rarely used' ones to bedrooms & have a smaller box/shoe rack, by the door. you'll get to a situation you're happy enough with. Trying to get from arghhh to perfect in one step rarely works.

So wish I could say I have a lovely tidy house! We too really struggle with lack of storage. I obviously don’t want to chuck everything out but it’s so difficult to put stuff away! My main problem at the moment is piles of clothes, baskets of clothes, clothes I have bought that are still in the packaging. I tell myself every day that I will tackle it but get overwhelmed & end up maybe filling a couple of bags for charity. Given up trying to sell the more expensive stuff so someone will be getting lots of bargains.
DD11 hasn’t grasped the concept of putting stuff away so her things are all over. We’re starting to redecorate her room & have tried to impress on her that she can’t let it get into the state it’s currently in when it’s finished. The kitchen depresses me too as every surface is covered. I do miss the space at our previous property but even there, we were pretty cluttered.

For me, we quite simply had to be 100% strict with ourselves, because it's just too much of a slippery slope if we're not.

Honestly, I would be embarrassed to show the pics to anyone else, but we took before and after photos of the house and garden and it's just amazing now. We made it so that there was nothing on the floor in the bedroom, bathroom or living room, and nothing cluttering up workspace in the kitchen.

But I have had to become SO strict with it. For example when DP leaves his socks on the floor and goes to get into bed, I tell him to take them to the laundry basket in the bathroom. It might sound stupid, but you leave a pair of socks there, or you put your books on the bedside table instead of in the drawer, you leave a water bottle by the side of the bed .. and before you know it you're back to square 1. Admittedly I barely have to pass comment now, as things do become habit in the end.

It's the same in the kitchen. I'm adamant that DSS does the dishes STRAIGHT after dinner, rather than wandering off and saying he'll do them later, because before you know it it's bed time, they haven't been done, and they're cluttering the worktops. Then the day after more dishes get added, and if there's dishes everywhere it looks messy anyway so there's little motivation to make sure you put things back in cupboards when they've been used etc..

Gradually it does get easier, and making a schedule for things like hoovering and cleaning is a must.

Honestly I am shocked now to think of the way we used to live even 6 months ago. But now we're slowly decorating the whole house too and that helps in itself, as I think you take a much greater pride in things when they're nice and new!

I made it a rule that I couldn't dump things somewhere (like the kitchen table) to deal with later, I had to deal with things straightaway. Sometimes I slip up and shove it in a drawer, but at least it isn't out in the open attracting other clutter.

I thought about the problem areas for my home. For example: messy bookshelves, kitchen counters, clothes not being out away. Then I tried to think about what was stopping me from not completing the task. For the clothes issue, I didn't have enough room for everything to be put away, so I needed to address that and get rid of some things. I'm terrible at getting rid of clothes, but if I haven't worn something in the last year it simply has to go.

For me it was definitely about forming habits, but I know from experience that the level of stuff to sort out feels overwhelming.

Loads of good advice here, but how does anyone manage a tidy house with a all children? I out the TV on when cooking tea, clean up after etc but cleaning and tidying takes so long I can't always abandon them to the TV, I get mum guilt.

I've got 2 and another on the way, is there any hope of a tidy house?! It's also small which doesn't help.

*small children

Marie Kondo - follow it to the absolute letter.
4 years on house is still immaculate.

Thanks everyone! Great replies here, from those who are struggling like me, and those who've made suggestions.
Clearly the first thing to focus on is decluttering.

I now have Mari Kondo's first book - on Audible - and will listen as I cook dnner this evening.

Plan is :
Mari Kondo/Tomm declutter. Will do TOMM level 1 jobs alongside.
Then will move to TOMM Bootcamp clean, after that daily TOMM.

Will update!

The key is to have much less stuff which is hard with a young family. Once you have less you need to buy less. I try to make minimum impact as I move through the house so I wash up religiously after each meal, do the laundry every day, sweep the floors every day. We are moving soon so I went through all our stuff and gave lots of it away as I am prone to being sentimental. I also get very anxious if the house is messy though

I have a big house and 4 DC and love the house looking well out together, so it does take a lot of work but the two things that really help are:

Never leave a room empty handed. There’s always something that can be put away/moved/tidied.

Every quarter I get a skip bag and chuck stuff. I’m ruthless.

It’s hard to get over the “I should take it to the charity shop/sell it/pass it on” feelings but it’s never that easy and in the past I’ve ended up with boxes full of stuff that fell into that category. So now I just bin it.

No it’s not good for the environment, yes it’s wasteful but it’s good for my mental health.