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How do I get my newborn to sleep in his next2me cot?

31 replies

roarfeckingroarr · 28/10/2020 19:28

Baby is 11 days old. I'm ebf and it's going v well. He's a dreamy little thing and I totally understand he's tiny, fourth trimester, it's natural that he's cluster feeding by night to maintain my milk supply etc

But at night he will only sleep on or right next to me. Guidance is pretty much all against co sleeping when so tiny, and he won't sleep in his next 2 me cot where I can still reach him, so DP has moved to spare room and I take him over night and stay up reading while baby feeds on and off and sleeps then DP takes him around 6am while I sleep until around 1, waking when he needs a feed.

Please can anyone help with how to get baby to sleep in the cot or of how long this goes on for? I miss sleeping at night and it would be nice to see my fiancé a little more!

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 28/10/2020 19:30

Try a warm hot water bottle in his bed, but take it out before you put baby in? Could do the same but with one of your items of clothing that smells of you. But also take it out before baby goes in. White noise?

underneaththeash · 28/10/2020 19:35

I never got mine to sleep in those. I suspect you smell too milky. Which makes it difficult for him to sleep. Put him in a Moses basket on your husband ‘s side away from you.

WeDontTalkAboutLove · 28/10/2020 19:37

We put the Moses basket inside the next2me until DD was big enough to not look lost!

BigusBumus · 28/10/2020 19:37

Mine wouldn't sleep until about 3 weeks old unless swaddled. Could you try that?

WeDontTalkAboutLove · 28/10/2020 19:38

We had to put the Moses basket inside the next2me for a month or so. I think she needed the 'closeness' of the sides in a smaller bassinet. Good luck!

SomethingOnce · 28/10/2020 19:39

I’ve had two that wouldn’t, one that will.

Think it’s their personalities, sorry Grin

WeDontTalkAboutLove · 28/10/2020 19:39

Oops, sorry OP. Didn't mean to post twice!

CharlieWeasley · 28/10/2020 20:33

Same as pps- we put the moses basket in there and just tried without every so often. At about 5 or 6 weeks she was fine. She was so little and I think it was just too big and exposed for her to start with.

EchoLimaYankee · 28/10/2020 20:52

The hot water bottle trick. Also took the temp guidelines with a pinch of salt (not on PFB mind you!). So DS would wear a babygro rather than long vest when in his gro bag. Although at 11 days old they were both still at the bottom of the next to me with a folded blanket on top of them.

slummymummy82 · 28/10/2020 21:05

We put our sleepyhead inside the next to me and it worked a treat. My first hated the Moses basket but the sleepyhead was one of the best 4am purchases I made!

Thatwentbadly · 28/10/2020 21:07

Guidance is not against cosleeping but only if there is a reason cosleeping in not appropriate for you both or not done safely.

csam · 28/10/2020 21:18


We put our sleepyhead inside the next to me and it worked a treat. My first hated the Moses basket but the sleepyhead was one of the best 4am purchases I made!

I swore by our sleepyhead! Baby all snug and slept much better. Pricey but worth every penny imho
Lolalovesmarmite · 28/10/2020 21:19

Hahahahahahaha......I’m currently lying here staring at the Snüz pod that both of mine have royally rejected. Some babies just need to be really really close. I’ve bought everything that is meant to make your baby sleep - Sleepyhead, white noise, pink noise, literally EVERYTHING. The only thing that worked for both of them has been setting up the bed for safe bed sharing, they sleep like a dream when I do that.

OP - please excuse my jaded, exhausted ranting. I would recommend you look at the guidance for safe co sleeping. My health visitor recommended it when I was on my knees with exhaustion because my DD would only sleep when I was holding her and I was petrified of falling asleep and smothering her. Once they get a bit bigger it’s great because you can feed on your side without waking properly.

CovidNightmare · 28/10/2020 21:26

We swaddled ds (16) when he was a newborn, he used to fling his arms around and wouldn't sleep any other way until he was a couple of months old. Not sure if swaddling is recommended now so check first.

roarfeckingroarr · 28/10/2020 21:52

Aren't sleepyheads also dangerous??!

So much conflicting bloody guidance! I'm desperate to not squish my beautiful little baby.

@Lolalovesmarmite thank you for making me laugh 🙂

OP posts:
FolkSongSweet · 28/10/2020 21:55

My DS was the same. We co slept safely, which is not against the guidance and better than the alternatives (like falling asleep while holding them). As he got older and had his own bedtime (around 6 months) he accepted it more and moved into a big cot at 7 months with no issues.

burritofan · 28/10/2020 21:58

OP, I used to use my Snuzpod as the place where I kept the water bottle, flapjacks, kindle, muslins, tiny torch for stealth nappy checks, more flapjacks (breastfeeding uses approximately 9,000 extra calories per feed, double at night, it’s just science). Meanwhile DD slept wedged in my armpit.

Co-sleeping is safe if you follow all the guidelines, look up the C position to sleep in, etc. I still found it better to do it without DP in the bed, though – just more room for me and the baby, less thrashy partner disturbing me. I was never able to do the doze-while-they-magically-latch-on thing but it’s still preferable to being awake all night.

Every now and then, try the next to me again. Sometimes they’ll take to it. But then take against it: everything’s a phase!

QforCucumber · 28/10/2020 21:59

You won't squish if exclusively bf, its a weird reflex - like the one which stops you falling off the bed.

Ds is 4.5 months, it took a 5 or 6 weeks before he went in the next2me. We had to buy a moses basket same as pp. The next2me was just too roomy I think

roarfeckingroarr · 28/10/2020 22:02

Thank you everyone. Seems like safe co sleeping and trying the cot every week or so is the answer. I've lost 12kg and am now back under 9 stone in last 11 days (3kg were baby) from exhaustion and living off the odd banana, so going to give it a proper shot tonight and hope we both sleep.

OP posts:
Iggly · 28/10/2020 22:04

Safe as can be co sleeping for us here when my second was a new born. Sitting up with her was too dangerous as I drifted off as time went on and nearly dropped her!

So instead we slept and fed lying down, thin duvet around my waist. I coped much better this way compared to with my first who I kept fighting my instinct to be next to him. DH slept in the spare room until we got her into her cot etc when she was older.

PrincessForADay · 28/10/2020 22:23

Make sure the mattress protector & fitted sheet smell of you. Keep trying it. My DD initially would only sleep in it if we were both close to the side & she held my finger.

After a few nights she loved it & I actually dreaded her getting too old for it!

GlennRheeismyfavourite · 28/10/2020 22:27

Mine would not go down to sleep alone until 14 days old - then suddenly she could be put down at midnight and sleep in 3-4 hour chunks until 8am ish - just keep trying - they change all the time at that age. Got that first 10-14 days we just took turns holding her all night. It was awful!!!


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GlennRheeismyfavourite · 28/10/2020 22:29

I second the sleepyhead - bought it at 2am one night and she slept so much better in it - trouble is now the recommendation is not to use one - I'm pregnant with number two and can't decide whether I'm going to use it again or not

ColourMeExhausted · 28/10/2020 22:35

Ooft we had this with DD, it was hard going and a shock to the system that I didn't expect! Me and DH spent the first few weeks doing shifts like you are doing. We gradually transitioned DD, by putting her in her pram cot bed (not recommended I know but it seemed the only place other than on me she would sleep!). Then bought a sleepyhead which helped...but I'll be honest, she never really took to solo sleeping and when she we felt she was old enough (about 8/9 months but can't remember) we did co sleeping as it was the only way to get any sleep.

Rest assured she is now 5 and in her own bedroom and fast asleep and tends to stay that way till i wake her up for school! still sharing a room with DS2 but let's not go there

Some babies just need extra comfort, it is bloody awful at times but you get through it. And when you feel safe to do so, I'd recommend co hasn't affected DD's ability to sleep alone, far from it.

ColourMeExhausted · 28/10/2020 22:37

Ha ha @GlennRheeismyfavourite we also purchased our sleepyhead at 2am one desperate night, i imagine most of their purchases are made in the wee hours Grin

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