To think being in your 30s is....

[Crushrush82]

I'm only 2 years in . But being in my 30s feels really different to say mid twenties. On a positive note. My confidence has improved massively in the last few years. I feel comfortable in my clothes, my makeup and i have less hangups now. But I've noticed loads of little things have crept up on me.

A rubbish one being. My body is not the same as it was. Since having my second child aged 28 I've ended up with heavy periods, neck and back problems and anemic. I miss being flexible and energised.

I've noticed that the 40 year olds that looked like grandads to me at 21 now look quite sexy. Infact anything from 25-45 could get my attention (only kidding as I'm in a relationship)

I feel very nostalgic at this age. Looking back on music and school days. Old times with friends. How times have changed. How makeup has changed. It's so much harder to be young now isn't it? But I do feel envious sometimes that those days are over for me.

I feel like everyone is getting older and it scares me. Parents. Friends. Everything. I think I'm more aware now that people are getting older and getting more problems. It's sad sometimes when I see how people have aged around me and remember them 20 years ago full of energy.

I am in a long term relationship. But I go through stages where I think. I will never get to experience those first feelings again. I would love to just do all that again once more. Fall in love. Get to know someone.

I have young children and I can't believe how fast time goes. My five year old is up to my chest now and my baby is nearly three. I remember their births like they were five minutes ago and I struggle to understand how we got here lol.

I still look quite young. But sometimes now I think how many more years before I'm grey and have lines and a middle aged look about me lol.

Anyone want to add? I honestly feel so aware that life is short right now and I miss being a carefree 20 year old sometimes.

I know you sent regret things either but I wish I had been more confident ten years ago.

Can't comment as I'm 29 but I am really looking forward to my 30s!

Youth is wasted on the young

I definitely feel alot more confident and things. You are basically there now anyway lol. I just notice how differently I see things now and I sometimes think how have 16 years passed since school already. It feels like a few years ago.

… something I should have appreciated more, really. I'm 39, in 8 months I will be 40 and I spent a lot of my 30s being sad that I wasn't a 20something any more.

I had two children before I was 30 and one more at 33; prior to his birth I think I did look (I know, I know, everyone says it on here!) fairly young for my age- at least, I got ID'd all the time. I spotted my first grey hair a month before he was born and have never been ID'd since.

In ten years time no doubt you till find me ruing not appreciating my 40s more

@formerbabe

It actually is isn't it. Its actually not fair how little time we get to be carefree

Can’t really agree with some of these...

I feel 35 is ancient... BUT I love it. Love my self confidence and how I don’t care what people think of me - I do me and who cares if people disapprove.

It helps I look younger than I am - no children... yet. My body has changed though but I’m slimmer and fitter than I was in my early 20’s - i just have to work a whole lot harder to maintain it,

Embrace it!

I wear dungarees and don’t care who thinks I look ridiculous. I’m much more comfortable in who I am and confident with it which makes it easier to make friends. I’m about to completely retrain which I’m excited about while content that I still have many working years ahead so it’s worth doing now. My neck and shoulders also hurt a lot so looking at breast reduction surgery. On a negative note I’ve spent the last twelve years being pregnant/breastfeeding/looking after toddlers I’ve neglected my own physical and mental health but I’m looking to get that on track with diet and exercise. I’ve already gone grey but it’s with a good cut and toner from the hairdresser and I love it, but I got my first grey hair at 15 so it’s been a long time coming!

God I could have written this OP. Yes to the confidence but yes to the awareness of aging. I’m ‘only’ 31 but had my first DC in August and I have a very real awareness of aging and time passing too quickly now. I don’t think the pandemic helps! My friends who don’t have DC yet don’t have that feeling so I think it’s possibly more related to parenting than anything else? There’s something to be said for still being ‘the kids’!

Maybe we are never happy lol. Yes I am afraid of not making the best of these years too. But I think it's hard letting go of the last isn't it. I love my partner. But I really do miss meeting lads and going out to actually have fun. I miss going out in my friends cars and singing along to music.

Sometimes at night when I'm getting the kids ready for bed I wish I could just go for a drive somewhere. Get a bag of chips and talk rubbish with my friends.

I am pretty sure back then though I couldn't wait to grow up and have babies.

I loved my 30s, I had the most fun I'd ever had in my life. I'm 51 now and still don't look old, I don't have lines or a middle-aged look, I don't have aches and pains.
I think you're terribly young to be worrying about this stuff really and your attitude to it all sounds somewhat defeatist.

OP I completly agree. I am 30, been in a LTR since 18 and had my son at 25. I feel physically old, achey and overweight so am starting a health kick to lose some weight as that will help. I regularly think about things I got up to in my teens and how reckless I was at times. But I also think of everything I have to come - buying our own home, getting married, having more children. I think 30s may be my prime and I'm determined to make the most of it!

@Dollywilde

Motherhood definitely alters you. I think that's probably what it is with me. I used to work in a high Street beauty shop when I was 16-23. I look back on those days. It was all makeup, boys, pubs and being in a group of people around my age. I think that's been the toughest part of motherhood. I'm no longer surrounded by a group of women being silly and chatting about everything under the sun. It kind of hits you. I still try and keep close to a couple of people. But it's much harder now. We've never gone out in the evenings without the kids. It's just never convenient for everyone. So I've gotten used to my own company alot this year.

This year definitely hasn't helped. I think it's actually a sad reminder of all the good times. The summers and years and holidays that are in the past. I wouldn't be surprised if 2020 has had many people wishing to go back. Also it has made you look ahead differently hasn't it. When will people be free again. It's just not known right now.

I come from a family who look more mature up to the age of about 25-28 then freezeframe and stay looking the same until 40. I feel like I've hit the right set of genes for that. I also have lots of family living healthy to 90-100 easily, so I have plenty of time.

But I feel very weird about my life being "set" now. We'll TTC next year, and it sounds daft, but in order to have a little daydream about my life, I'm happy to write my husband out of the picture, but I know I won't be able to do that to my kids?

My daydreams including celebrities will come with them taking on my as yet non existent children and for some reason that freaks me out

I know what you mean. I'm 37. It's 10 years since my grandparents died. I'd love to have another day with them. And now, of course, my own parents are 10 years older...

@thecatsthecats your daydreams will definitely not feature your children, trust me

I'm 30. I'm much more confident than I was when I was 20. I really think it's true that the older you get, the less of a shit you give what people think of you. I much prefer my life now than my life when I was 20. I'm a single parent, I was with DS's dad when I was 20 and I prefer being single.

Much harder to keep weight off now though.

I feel 35 is ancient

If 35 is ancient, what do you call 75 which is what I am

I'm only nearly 31 but loving my thirties so far.

@thecatsthecats

I think everyone is curious at some point about a different life. A different path. I think that's why everyone daydreams. People don't admit to it because it's personal isn't it. It wouldn't make sense to anyone else. There's a million options in life and we only get to try some of them. Us some of it is what you are given (rich parents/poor parents/ country you were born in and the opportunity around you. My parents were never outgoing. So I kind of lacked in confidence and I've had to learn to do things they never did. When I booked my first holiday I felt so grown up!

Even though my partner is perfect in many ways. He's just a genuine solid family man. Very kind and sensitive. I often wonder what it would be like to be with a man's man.

It's the same with career stuff. I never found myself until I was a mum. I sort of knew I liked helping people and hospitals were interesting to me. But it wasn't until I had my first child I thought I wish I knew at leaving school age about midwifery. Because I am so interested in it. But with my health issues im just not energetic enough and I just can't do it around the kids right now. It's a shame. But perhaps one day I'll feel healthier.

@KenzoBaby

It's so sad isn't it. I know you shouldn't be morbid but it feels more realistic now that people won't live forever.

@thecatsthecats I'm very much hoping that that'll be me - I have always looked a few years older than I really am (am now just 30) but hoping it stops soon!

I feel like being 30 "suits me" in a weird way - like PP I'm so much more comfortable in myself now. I don't agonise if someone doesn't like me / think I'm cool etc!

I'm also happily married but a little sad I'll never (hopefully - touch wood) get the rush of a new relationship again.

I hear you OP. I'm 34. Time speeds up when kids come along and most of your time and energy goes into raising them, work and dealing with the boring bits of life. When you finally come up for air, you think shit, where did the time go.

I adore my children, but I find working, running a home, ferrying them around and the never ending homework a drudge. I often fantasise about being in my 40s and wondering what it will be like to have a bit more freedom as kids will be teenagers but then. But I know I shouldn't wish the time away.

Ps. I found a fuck ton of stray grey hairs in my dark mane last night. I was not impressed

P.s I'll be back soon just going for a bath. It's actually lovely to chat with you all. I feel like I'm with a group of women having a laugh it's actually really nice sometimes on Mumsnet when people are sharing like this. I was just sat thinking about everything and thought I wonder if I'm alone.

I second that parenting has made me feel the passing of time more than anything else

ClementineWoolysocks

I loved my 30s, I had the most fun I'd ever had in my life

Agree

By the time I turned 30 I had paid off student debts, bought my first home and had a decent job. More importantly I was way more confident in myself which allowed me to not put up with crap relationships, flakey friends or be subject to peer group pressure. Was happy to plough my own furrow in life and not worry too much what others thought.

My 20s were fantastic, but my 30s went in a bit of a blur of bringing up children and working like a dog. So much happened, it was certainly an interesting decade, but it felt like a bit of a slog.

I’m 43 now and so far I LOVE my 40s. I’m having much more fun than I did in my 30s. I’m also slimmer and fitter than I was 10 years ago, as now my DC are teens I have more time to look after myself.

You’ve got plenty to look forward to .

Threads like this make me feel like the only person in the world whose self-confidence has dropped (from a baseline of floor-level ) since turning 30 . I've aged a lot in my thirties, and now I look at least a decade older than I am, and feel even older than that. So, that's been a boost, too(!)

Woe is me